Bah Humbug! A Christmas Story

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2003
Bah Humbug! A Christmas Story
8
Thu, 12-08-2005 - 10:36am

Picture this:

A beautiful 9'+ Noble Fir Christmas tree. In your house for 4 full days before you have the time, energy and inclination to deal with it. Your children have made you PROMISE you will not hang a single ornament on it until everybody is home to help. It's TRADITION!

An 11yo, puberty-stricken child -- 5'2, 145 pounds and with size 8.5 feet. Prone to whining under the best of circumstance. Home sick for 3 days with a flu/bronchitis combo -- ick.

Since you are house bound, you decide to tackle that tree. You spend almost 2 hours with the Christmas lights, are half-way up the tree and have three strands of lights left when you realize that TWO of the three strands do not light up. Huh? Rather than labor over trying to figure out which one of those itty bitty buggers is the dud, you throw both in the trash, grab your car keys and make a quick run to the hardware store for new lights.

Your eyes zero in on a heavy-duty, 300 bulb 110' strand of lights. THIS is the solution to your dilemma! You can now finish getting those lights on the tree with ONE single strand! Halleluja! This tree trimming business will be over in no time now.

You get home and wrestle that 110' strand of lights around the tree. It is quite heavy and unweildy, but you manage. Unfortunately, it's not QUITE long enough to get all the way to the top of the tree, so you grab that last little strand and finish the job. Viola! It's beautiful! You spend another hour+ carefully draping beaded garlands on said tree. Your job is done! The kids will hang the ornaments and you can sit and watch.

That evening, the kids each hang about 3 of the 200+ ornaments you have collected over the years and decide that watching 'School of Rock' on DVD is far more interesting. So ... you finish the job, pack up all the boxes, admire your tree one last time, unplug the lights and go to bed.

The next morning you head downstairs and plug the lights in your lovely Christmas tree. It sparkles in the pale light of early morning and you head to the kitchen to make lunches, breakfast, etc. You peek into the family room to admire your tree and GASP! The lights are out! What???

DH appears about that time and you send him to investigate. While not an electrician, DH's near 30 years in the electronics/computer industry makes him well qualified to diagnose this ailment -- "a fuse has burned out HERE. I will fix it when I get home". You breath a sigh of relief.

Later that day ...

The fuse has been replaced and the tree lights are sparkling once again. You clean up dinner dishes and go upstairs to get that last load of laundry out of the dryer. Upon returning downstairs --- GASP!!! The lights are out again!

Even DH is puzzled now. He asks many questions about exactly how many strands of lights are there on that tree. Uh, about 6? You tell him the story about the two strands that didn't work, and the new heavy-duty 300 light, 110' strand you bought to replace them. Aha! says spouse. Your eyes glaze over while he commences to educate you on the properties of electrical current. You feign interest in his diatribe, evening managing to nod your head and mumble 'uh huh, uh huh' a few times, while thinking to yourself "just fix the d**n lights" ... and then you hear ...

"The only way you're gonna get these lights to work ... blah, blah, blah ... is to take everything off the tree, ... blah, blah, blah ... and start all over again".

Bah! Humbug!




Edited 12/8/2005 12:56 pm ET by julesnalpine
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-29-2003
Thu, 12-08-2005 - 10:51am

Happy Holidays, Right, Julie? I'm smiling while all the while feeling for your plight. I complain over my 'puny' tree, but right now, I am grateful for it!! Our house is small---a little ranch style w/ a basement---almost 1200 sq ft up and 300 down......just a shade under 1500 total...........so a big tree (which we have in storage) just won't work in our little slice of the world. I love real trees, too, but alas most of us are allergic...........we bought a 6 1/2 ft pre lit tree from Lowes the day after Thanksgiving ($25!!) and it is beautiful (compared to our $19.97 tree purchased from a discount store 3 yrs ago to try to find something inexpensive to take care of the MASSIVE tree that just is to big for our house---looked sort of like a Charlie Brown tree). Just the right size and no draping of the lights (thank goodness) and all the ornaments sparkle and glisten. I'm a SUCKER for those hand blown glass ornaments........

Anyway, back to you-----isn't it always something? Excited kids, but unwilling to help....frazzled mom WANTING a solution---thinking you HAVE a solution only to find your solution isn't one after all--oh, and a sick kid to boot............Here is what I say. Tell your family that TONIGHT (or when reasonably easy to coordinate) EVERYONE--including DH sticks around---you ALL undecorate the tree--DH unstrings the lights and restrings appropriate ones (since he IS the expert, after all....smile....) then you drape the garland and tell those 'tradition expecting' kids to decorate away while you have some spiked punch!! Sounds good, right?

Sorry your tree experience isn't going well. I hope that you can find a way to get the energy to re-do the whole thing .....again........it will be beautiful, though.......just add this to your list of 'fun' holiday stories. Next year this will be funny!!
shels

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2003
Thu, 12-08-2005 - 11:27am

Oh Shels ... we had an artificial tree for years ... it finally started shedding more than a real one so we finally had to pitch it a few years ago. I started buying a real one then, though it kind of goes against 'save the trees' way of thinking. Maybe this year I'll hit the after Christmas sale and buy another artificial ones ... pre-lit, of course!

Anyway, our house is not that large either. Just one of those 'open' floor plans with a pitched roof so it looks more spacious than it actually is.

Son is still home sick -- I expect him to be here tomorrow too! {{Sigh}} I just don't have it in me right now to dismantle that tree ...

Thanks for your words of encouragement.

Julie

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-29-2003
Thu, 12-08-2005 - 11:43am

Well, my kids are home on a snow day today--so they were THRILLED. My DS12 was sick on Tues and we decorated the tree after we went to the Dr. It was sort of fun. My oldest (who wouldn't THINK of helping) even commented on how pretty it is.

I am FINALLY over my bah humbugness or holiday blues/mondy-itis or whatever it was. I'm in a MUCH better frame of mind. Maybe it's due to the fact I was ACTUALLY HOME last night and cooked dinner (a healthy one, too!!)---we've been eating on the run for days it seems. I know that in the throes of whatever crisis we are having, it seems like we'll never get past it or that things seem insurmountable............but like I said, you'll re-decorate the tree, and tell the story laughing next year..............things always seem to straighten themselves out, don't you think? The old cliche of "tomorrow is another day" seems to always ring true........things usually look much brighter 'tomorrow' or at least in time.

My new doggie is at the vet getting neutered today, and I want so much to call and check on him---but my vet isn't the type for lots of 'warm fuzzies' so I feel stupid calling......I know I'll give in before long........

I hope your day improves by leaps and bounds--that your tree is redecorated with little effort and your son is better!!
Shels

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 12-08-2005 - 7:20pm

Ugh - what an ordeal!! Hope it eventually got figured out. What a bummer!

Sue

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2005
Fri, 12-09-2005 - 8:35am
Julie,
I was feeling a little bah humbuggy this morning and I have to admit your post made me laugh! Sending you sympathy and some garlic to keep the grinches away....
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2003
Fri, 12-09-2005 - 10:14am

Uhhh ... not working. I think I need Extra Strength -- or maybe you can just Super-Size me.

DS STILL home sick. He is truly MISERABLE and I am truly batty at this point. He is whining about me making sugar cookies today -- his fav. How can you not indulge a sick kid? DH said he would re-do the lights tonight, so today is also the day I will dismantle the tree.

Trouble is, when I overdo one day, I pay for it the next (still feeling the effects of that Epstein-Barr thing) and I HAVE to get out of the house and get some gift shopping done tomorrow. DD has Model UN conference tomorrow, so the plan is to get her there, then hit the mall until she's done at 4:00.

Maybe you should just send cheese again ...{{whine, whine, whine}}

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2005
Sat, 12-10-2005 - 1:42pm
Julie, I think I'd just have to go somewhere and have a nice, good "scream". A&*%$#@! Good luck, honey.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2003
Sat, 12-10-2005 - 10:58pm

I got one better ... I dropped DD off at her conference at 8:30 and WENT SHOPPING! Didn't stop until I went to pick her up at 4:00. There's nothing like a good workout with your plastic to get those endorphins flowing!

I'm a new person today! Exhausted, but better!

And the tree has been dismanted and the lights put back on. Still void of garland and ornaments though ...




Edited 12/10/2005 11:20 pm ET by julesnalpine