Help with teen & computer question

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Help with teen & computer question
8
Fri, 12-09-2005 - 1:20pm

Diving right into this board with 2 teens ages 14 & 15 both boys.

Hugs, Jade 

Growth is an erratic forward movement:  two steps forward, one step back.  Remember

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2004
Fri, 12-09-2005 - 2:51pm


What keylogger are you using?
A program that only works if the profile being monitored has Admin priviledges doesn't make any sense to me. Completely defeats the purpose. He can easily bypass the keylogger.

There are a number of ways to get a password.
He's had complete access to everything up to this point.
First, change his profile to a regular user. Tell him if he password protects his user profile you will pull the plug... Completely..and mean it.
Second, change your administrator profile password.

Sounds like you've got yourself quite a little "evil genius"...lol
If he's that smart and that into computers, I really think you're tempting fate having this machine in the bedroom... At least until he develops a bit more maturity and self control.

The punishment needs to fit the crime.
Jade..I understand you're mad and disappointed about the lying and rule breaking. But taking away their TV, games, computer, and Christmas presents may not get you the results you're looking for.
I'm a big fan of cause and effect, not necessarily making their lives miserable. Taking away their computer until such time they can use it responsibly, and be honest about what they're doing seems reasonable to me. Don't give them a time frame on getting it back. That just focuses on "doing time" and teaches them nothing.
And let them have a nice Christmas! :-)

D

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2004
Sun, 12-11-2005 - 1:58pm

You are way to harsh on them. Seriously at 15 you should not be controlling the computer like that, the reason he is being 'immature' and lying about it is because you have forced him into it, he has no other choice since as you say it is his only interest. I don’t know what things are like in Wisconsin but around here your DSs would be laughing stocks at school over this situation.

As for keyloggers and other nanny software: I'll share a horror story I had to deal with doing volunteer work at my local GLBT community center. A questioning 15 year old kid was using the internet to find GLBT resources in our area as he was having a hard time at home, parents very Christian and openly anti-homosexual, not knowing their kid was gay. He managed to bypass the nanny software on their computer but had no idea the keylogger was there. When his parents found out he was beaten and was treated like dirt for a week then one day when he left for school he instead came to the GLBT center and got us involved, we had to informing the police of his parents actions, then find him new housing because they would not take him back nor did he wish to return. Keyloggers cause problems and should be illegal, thats that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 12-11-2005 - 2:12pm

Take the keyboard and mouse with you to bed on school nights and return them when you get up in the morning

BTDT-I dont care how late they stay on the computer if there is not school teh next day

As long as he is doing his homework, I wouldnt worry about when. I would sit him down and tell him that-appreciate the fact he IS doing it and making such a strong effort to make his life work. Come down on the lying, for sure. That is his biggest mistake here IMHO

Your boys change the toilet paper roll? How'd you teach them to do that? Im still working on DH

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2005
Sun, 12-11-2005 - 5:40pm

<way to harsh on them. Seriously at 15 you should not be controlling the computer like that, the reason he is being 'immature' and lying about it is because you have forced him into it, he has no other choice since as you say it is his only interest.>>

Crap. Pure and simple.

The internet allows anyone into your house (on a virtual level) and you have as much right to limit and monitor it's use as you do to control the behavior of physical people in your home.

Put the software on, let your son know it's there and that you *will* monitor it. At a minimum, it'd be a good indoctrination as to how he'll have to treat computers in the workplace.

ILR

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Sun, 12-11-2005 - 6:01pm

Here's my 2 cents worth...

First, ignore advanced_mom. You own the computer, the house and the phone wire, so you make the rules. You are their parents, not their friends...parents set limits. In my house, the computer is a "privlege", not a "right", so they must earn time on the computer. And by not following the rules, they lose the time.

Second, if you have a key logger, then it logs everything that you type in. Assuming that you type your passwords (not biometrics), then the logger logs the passwords. If your DS can get into the logger, he has the passwords.

Third, I have installed on my computer a program that controls access to the PC. Specifically, it controls the amount of time per day, the hours during which that time can be used, and the programs that can or cannot be run. So my kids get 1 hour per day between 8am and 8pm. I have a seperate login called School which I allow 24 hour login, but it is limited to only running Word, Excel, PowerPoint, stuff like that. If you want to know the name of the program, reply to this message. I've mentioned it a few times on these boards, but I don't want anyone to think I am "pushing" this specific software.

Fourth, worst case scenario...take the PC out of DS room. Put it in the family room or even your own bedroom. Guaranteed if it's in your bedroom, he won't be on it at night.

Just my thoughts.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 12-12-2005 - 12:38am

Thank you all for the replies.

Hugs, Jade 

Growth is an erratic forward movement:  two steps forward, one step back.  Remember

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000
Mon, 12-12-2005 - 12:59pm

Sorry I didn't reply earlier - sounds like you got some good advice here (for the most part).

Pam
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2005
Tue, 12-13-2005 - 4:01pm

On the bright side, he probably has a very good future ahead in computers! And even possibly in the video game industry or something related. I have lots of friends in the business and they love it and get paid well do it. (side note: my ex produces video games for a living with no college degree, started out as a tester and make big bucks, while I have a degree and work in the nonprofit sector making very little...guess whose footsteps my daughter wants to follow...yep, dad's!)

Anyway, I keep our computer in the dining room, my daughter hates it but it gives me a chance to keep an eye on it and on her. That's probably you best bet, keeping it in a public area.

Also, those keylogger programs are clearly not the cause of that one kid's problems as one poster suggested. The parents were the problem. Duh.

Good luck!