depression disorder - the trendy disease

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2005
depression disorder - the trendy disease
8
Mon, 12-12-2005 - 7:33pm

I'm new to the message boards so if this topic has been covered, I apologize.

I am coming to my wits end. I don't understand why every teenager now has depression disorder and are on prozac with weekly visits to a psychiatrist. And why are parents humoring their kids by allowing this?

This started when my 14 year old started high school. Great student - mid to high 80's - she already knew she wanted to be a writer and go on to U of T to reach her goals. By midterm, her circle of friends had changed (her old friends were too shallow). She was now hanging with a crowd that thinks panic attacks and depression disorder is a part of growing up. Her friends' parents were taking them to a psychiatrist and putting them on anti-depressants.

My daughter's a smart but stubborn drama queen hypochondriac. She's researched depression so of course, she has all the symptoms. This comes up about every 6 to 7 months since she started high school. When she's focused on other aspects of her life, she's a happy kid. We have a great relationsip with her that I'm very grateful for. My husband and I have tried to deal with this from every angle. But because she's not on meds or seeing a professional, she's still "depressed". I could go on and on....but I think you get the picture.

What can we do? Just when I think things are getting back on track...bam! What I'm concerned about is that it's really beginning to affect her grades. She really needs honour roll or she won't be able to get a scholarship and we can't afford U of T.

Any advice before I lose all my hair?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2005
Mon, 12-12-2005 - 8:07pm

If your daughter has to be kept busy to not focus on her 'depression' then she may need to see someone. Not necessarily because of the depression, but her need for this attention. My SS sees a psychiatrist and it has been a very effective management tool. He has been through loads of stuff and put us through loads of stuff and things are beginning to turn the corner.

GL,

Michelle

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2005
Mon, 12-12-2005 - 8:58pm
It might be a good idea for yor dd to sit down and talk with a professional. Please don't dismiss her feelings of depression - nobody really knows how another person feels.
Avatar for heartsandroses2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 12-13-2005 - 8:55am

First, welcome. Second, I'm sorry that you're on this roller coaster with your dd.

I think it's important for you to understand that depression/anxiety has many levels of severity. Just saying "I have depression" does not warrant the need for medication. Sometimes, learning effective methods of working through common teen issues is all that is needed. Those methods can be learned from a prefessional counselor or a mentor of some kind.

You say that when she's busy, she's better. What are her extra curricular activities? What does she do for fun? Are her friends into drugs or alcohol of any kind? Is she physically fit? On the other hand, is she TOO busy? Does she have an adequate amount of time to just be alone and/or dawdle? Everyone should have some down time. Does her schedule have to be jam packed in order for her to keep her mind off things that are bothering her?

I realize that it DOES seem like every time you turn around there is a new diagnosis out there. Try to remember that science is constantly learning and finding out about new ways of treating old symptoms and so in order to do so, they come up with new names for those old symptoms. Personally, I wish there was prozac when I was a teen - my teen years were a nightmare and my parents were oblivious. It probably could have saved me a lot of heartache and grief.

Also, since your dd seems to be cyclic, which is what I understand from your post, she could be dealing with many feelings that she simply cannot handle or maybe does not know how to work through. The teen years ARE tough, and depending upon her group of friends and/or where you live, she could be feeling things that she may not share with you or your H and is struggling on her own with them. Cyclic moods or depression can also be caused by hormonal changes. Teens and thier friends are very fickle as well as trendy, but true depression is not trendy. And if your dd is experiencing any level of true depression, it is wise to at least check it out.

Incidentally, my 16dd has suffered with a depression as a side effect from Tourette Syndrome beginning when she was 10. Initially, we were flabbergasted when the DR told us she was depressed - she always seemed so upbeat and happy. This past January and then again in May, she told me she wanted to die several times. Depression is very real and it is not a consequence of being in a bad home with bad parents, as commonly believed. It is very much a chemical issue as well as an environmental issue - it can be genetic or not - there are many factors.

I think you should contact your DR and at least have your dd be seen by a professional to rule some things out and see if her issues can be treated with behavioral therapy and not meds first.

Best of luck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Tue, 12-13-2005 - 12:47pm

nikki -

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000
Tue, 12-13-2005 - 1:13pm

Hi Nikki and welcome to the board.

Pam
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2005
Tue, 12-13-2005 - 6:37pm

Thanks for your advice.

I really wasn't trying to sound apathetic towards true cases of depression.

What you have to understand is that almost everyone in her group is apparently suffering from panic attacks, depression disorder, or is medicated for the same. Her friends aren't using drugs/alcohol that I know of - they're actually great kids who most times just hate their homelife. Our house is usually the hangout for everyone, so we'd like to think we know her group quite well.

She's been to see her DR so clincal depression has been ruled out to my daughter's dismay.
She sees a counsellor at school on a somewhat regular basis which she says does help. She goes to karate twice a week and is also active in a play at school. Beyond that though, she does have ample down time the rest of the week and weekends.

We actually had a long talk after my original post and things look a little better. I was amazed that she wasn't writing in her journal so I encouraged her to start that again. She's having trouble opening up to her friends because she's usually the one listening to them and she's also been hurt before when she vented. I suggested writing them a letter instead. I've advised her to ask her counsellor of ways as well to vent her emotions and to find little ways to help improve her pessimistic attitude.

What I hoped to accomplish from this post was to see if anyone else was going thru the same or similar situation and if there was help beyond pyschiatrists and prozac. I don't believe that medicating our children thru adolencence and hormones is the answer. Helping our kids thru puberty involves a lot of parental effort and support - not pills and shrinks.

Avatar for elc11
Community Leader
Registered: 06-16-1998
Wed, 12-14-2005 - 1:42am

I am a little confused by your original post and your later response.

Do you think that your dd's friends are lying to their parents and their doctors in order to get Prozac? Are the psychiatrists so easily fooled or unprofessional that they prescribe a potentially dangerous drug to kids that don't even have the condition that it is intended to treat? That is taking on a huge professional liability. Interesting that they *want* Prozac since some people who need it don't like it because of the side effects.

I can say that once someone is on mood stabilizers/psychotropic drugs they do need to see the psychiatrist regularly to be monitored so that would probably account for the frequent visits. If these kids are pretending then probably the game will be over soon because the drugs and therapy can get pretty intense and tiresome even for people who need it and benefit from it.

Over the years there have been periods on which it seemed like it was "cool" in my dd's friends to have some kind of psychological difficulty so I think I know what you mean about it seeming trendy but I think that those kids really did have issues and problems that needed help. I actually think it is a good thing for them to be open to the idea of accepting and dealing with your problems; when I was their age there was still a stigma attached to depression and other such conditions, like it was a form of weakness so people were afraid to admit to it or to seek help.

As for your dd, the fact that she is seeing the counselor at school (I assume that this is someone like a school psychologist and not her academic counselor?) and feels like it is helping her says that she is benefiting from someone impartial listening to her.

I have to agree with the others that you shouldn't discount what your dd is saying. I understand that you need to take it with a grain of salt but please be open to the possibility that your dd knows what she is talking about and feels like. Even though her doctor ruled out clinical depression know that he could be wrong or that she could have a milder case or could have another condition. Depression and other mental health issues can become more pronounced as kids get older but not always with the same symptoms as for adults. It can be hard to differentiate between "teen angst" and a real problem. A chemical imbalance cannot be "fixed" with more love or discipline or wholesome activities etc. Hopefully your dd is fine and is just going through a melodramatic phase, but please keep an open mind about this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2005
Wed, 12-14-2005 - 2:31pm

I have to say that I agree with you. I even have a 16 yo ds who is ADD (mild) and unmedicated. All these years we have supported him in his constant struggle to stay on task in school. I am a believer in medication when it's warranted, but I have to agree with you that I'm shocked at the staggering number of teens and younger children are on heavy duty medication. It makes you wonder what is going on. I assume also that the Dr. wouldn't prescribe this potentially dangerious medication unless absolutely crucial. But can ALL of these kids really be suffering from depression, ADD, ADHD, oppositional defiance disorder (this is a new one), etc. etc.?

I'm with you - I wonder what in the world is going on....

Maria