What to do now?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2004
What to do now?
7
Thu, 12-15-2005 - 12:24pm

My oldest stepson (17) was involved in a car accident last night. He is fine, but very sore. My mother in law called my husband last night and he went to the scene. Apparently, he was driving home from church, realized he was going too fast to make a stop (it was also raining and the roads were very wet), and when he put the brakes on, the Antilock Brake System failed and the wheels locked up. He could not turn the wheel, and he hit a light pole head on. Thank goodness for his seatbelt and the airbags! He was very very lucky that he was able to get out and walk to a house and call his grandmother. The state trooper met them at the scene, and a wrecker was called to take the car away. The vehicle was bought by his mother, in her name, without my husband knowing anything about it. We found out about it one day when husband went to get the kids, and there was his car!! We had found him a used car that my sister in law owns, in perfect condition, and we were willing to get the car financed so that payments would be low. Nope, that wouldn't do. Mom got this car, her father paid for it, and now she expects us to pay him back for half of the vehicle. We have been asking for a copy of the bill of sale, and we were going to either make payments to her father, or find another way to pay it. We have yet to receive it. According to husband, the ABS light in the car has been on since it was purchased, but the former owner told them it had been checked out and it was working. No one ever checked the vehicle out before it was bought! We also found out that the only insurance coverage on the vehicle is liability, because she could not afford any other coverage. We were not aware of that before last night.

Now, what do we do? Mom has stated that she is NOT going to buy him another vehicle. Husband and I discussed seeing if the vehicle can be repaired, and since we are already getting a home equity loan in order to get new windows and pay off a few bills, adding that expense to it and have son make payments back to us. He is working now, and we would be willing to have him make payments based on what he makes, and also put the car in husband's name, and making sure that we have the proper coverage. Mom has called husband today wanting to know when we are going to pay her father for half of a vehicle that is no longer drivable (at least not now). We have a feeling that they will take husband back to court over this, and my first thought is let them! It is in the divorce decree that they split the cost of a car, BUT there was supposed to be a mutual decision made about it!!

I want to help this young man out, but it just gripes my butt that we have to take over what she screwed up! It is not fair to him that his mother did not do this the right way, and I guess it is a lesson learned.

Thanks in advance for all the advice!

Sarah

Avatar for elc11
Community Leader
Registered: 06-16-1998
Thu, 12-15-2005 - 1:44pm

I'm glad that your dss is okay after the accident. Do keep a close eye on him for the next week or so because sometimes symptoms take awhile to appear.

I don't see how anyone can make you pay for something that you did not buy. If the bio-mom or her father take this to court, via either the child support agreement or small-claims court, I hope that a judge would agree that since your dh was not consulted prior to the purchase or even told about it until sometime later, nor even seen the bill of sale, he is not responsible for paying for it. It sounds like the boy's grandfather wanted to give him a nice gift. And if grandpa was foolish enough to believe that his daughter could make her ex cough up half the price for a purchase that he had no knowledge of, then let's hope he learned his lesson.

If you do decide to repair this car I would make sure that the title gets changed in some way to insure that bio-mom can't sell the car without first discussing it with your dh.

It is a shame that your dss is the "victim" in all of this while the assorted family members wrangle over it. But on the other hand it is a reality check for him. Cars are expensive, they get mechanical problems or damaged in accidents and then you either have to pay for repairs or you can't drive. Based on the age/condition of the vehicle many people don't carry collision coverage and take the risk that an accident means that they are out a car. At least he is getting to learn this lesson while it is not *his* responsibility to pay.

As kind of an aside, even if they had collsion insurance he could still be out a car. My nephew was recently in an accident and the ins declared the car a total loss. It was less than 2 yrs old and still had a lot left on the loan. The ins payout will pay off the loan but leave only about $2000 towards buying another car. That's not enough of a down-payment to get another loan with the same payments so now he cannot afford to get another car until he can save much more! But without a car to drive to work etc etc. Poor kid is in a real bind.

Good luck resolving this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-18-2005
Fri, 12-16-2005 - 7:02pm

Glad your Stepson is OK - what a scary night!! I have no experience in the divorce/remarriage arena, but my gut tells me that this should be worked out with an attorney or judge. If you an afford to lend your SS the money to repair, then do it, but make sure he pays it back.

(((HUGS)))

Sue

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2003
Fri, 12-16-2005 - 9:57pm

I'm glad your stepson is okay.

As for the issue with the car, well, your husband may want to talk to his lawyer and get a consultation on this. If there was an agreement that they should split the cost of a car for his son, were there any other stipulations such as agreement in advance, who would pay for insurance etc etc.? The lawyer needs to have a close look at the agreement.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2004
Fri, 12-16-2005 - 11:04pm

I'm glad he is not seriously hurt.

<<>>
This is the key statement.
Had your husband been involved in the decision, and the transaction, he would have put physical damage coverage on the vehicle.
Since mom took it upon herself to purchase and insure the vehicle, she is responsible for insuring it properly. Lack of insurance coverage does not make you the responsible party.
The agreement in the divorce decree is irrelavant as is the condition of the vehicle pre-accident. Asking for payment only after the vehicle is destroyed disqualifies her claim.
Your gut feeling is accurate Sarah. There is no legal case here.
You don't say how old the vehicle is, but I'd scrap this entire ordeal. The wreck is mom's responsibility, not yours. Let her take care of it.Do not throw money away repairing an older vehicle that has a deployed air bag. Your money is better spent starting over.
I'd purchase the other vehicle with mom's knowledge. Keep her involved every step of the way, insure it properly, and expect partial payment from mom on the loan you take out for your stepson.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2005
Wed, 12-28-2005 - 5:31am

the mom's probally sol. however there is another issue here as i see it and that is what you are teaching the kid by buying his cars for him.

imho a kid shouldn't get a car until he can afford to pay for it himself.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Wed, 12-28-2005 - 7:21am

Until I got to the part about the divorce decree, I was ready to say "mom messed up, she's on her own!!"

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 12-28-2005 - 2:50pm

Youve gotten good advice. I would think if mom and dad were to buy the car together even steven as the divorce agreement stated, BOTH their names would be on the title. Since mom is the sole name on that document, I would hope that would trump any 'he said, she said' the BM comes up with to defend herself

Someone made a good point about air bags. With ds1's first accident, fixing the air bags would have cost more than the blue book of the car(forget the other damage)We took the loss and moved on

Collision? Its SO expensive for a male teen, we have bitten the bullet. We only paid collision on ds2's vehicles for 6 months and then dropped it. Obviously, we are taking a chance, but I wouldnt immediately knock mom for not getting collision. Now if she didnt have liability.......one is a personal choice and the other a necessity

In response to the kid paying, you have stated he will pay as he can from his wages. Ours were responsible for monthly payments that would eventually pay half the vehicle cost

I would NOT fix the other vehicle but be open to getting an estimate-they might not be so anxious once they see this themselves

Try to get BM to pay her half(with her and DHs names on the title)If its a hassle, perhaps you can just write it off as car one was her half and car two is your half. Of course, I dont know how to legally document that

good luck and I agree with the advice to keep a close eye out for any kind of concussion symptoms; my middle son had short term memory issues for 6-8 weeks after his accident-that abrupt stop has the brain sloshing around in there :(