I am Soooo Mad!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2003
I am Soooo Mad!
23
Thu, 12-15-2005 - 5:32pm

DS got a deficiency notice today!!! From his PE coach! I've posted about DS here before, he's not a teen yet, but you all have been here already with your boys so maybe you have some advice.

Since the first day of school, DS has been making himself sick worrying about his runs each week. He is chubby and not in the greatest physical shape. We have been assuring him all along that PE is all about participation. That if he dresses out and participates, that's all the coaches want and he should just stop worrying. And then he gets a deficiency! He is pretending he is not upset, but I can tell he is!

To make it worse, the coach gave him a "Needs Improvement" for his effort. Now, DS has 6th period PE and he gets to the car at the end of the day all red faced, hot and sweaty so I KNOW he is exerting a great deal of effort. I also know he tries his best to make his time in that run, but he's just not in shape for it. The deficiency also indicated his current grade in PE was in the C-D range! He had straight A's on his 1st quarter report card and now a C? He missed all his runs last week because he was home sick with bronchitis so when he makes them up, the grade should come up.

Should I just sign the stupid deficiency and send it back without saying anything? Or should do contact the coach and talk to him about it?

Thanks for any advice you might have!

Edited 12/15/2005 6:21 pm ET by julesnalpine




Edited 12/15/2005 6:22 pm ET by julesnalpine

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2006
Thu, 12-15-2005 - 5:53pm

Hi. My first reaction when reading your post is based on my experience with my 16 yo DD. She gets deficiency notices in gym for non-participation by choice. To me, gym is a free A. If you show up dressed and participate, you should get a good grade. My daughter, however, chooses not to participate because her gym class is first period and she doesn't want to get sweaty. So although she may not lose points because she shows up dressed, she is not actively participating. I can't get thru to her on this one.


In your son's case, I would say it's time to call the teacher. The teacher needs to know your son's stress level. If he is truly trying his hardest, he certainly should not be penalized. Some gym classes grade based on improvement. If you start at 'level 1' and progress to 'level 3' - the improvement is reflected in the grade. If your son is showing significant effort and not improving - his grade should be based on effort. Again, the teacher may not be in tune to your son. Let him know.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 12-15-2005 - 7:00pm

I had 'hands off' parents(I think most were that way back then)

But my mother called the PE teacher in 9th grade and told her just how hard I was trying. I have struggled with weight on and off and that year was a bad one and, even at my thinnest, Im a klutz. I would be home trying my hardest to do a cartwheel across the living room and...no way!

Now, back then it wasnt just participation-we were graded on our gymnastics presentations, etc-UGH

To my knowledge, it was teh ONLY time my parents ever called a teacher in those 12 years

Made it clear how hard I was trying and that they didnt appreciate her destroying my GPA

And yes, it made a difference

Call him(there is also teh possibility DS is fibbing and not putting forth full effort so....always good to get both sides)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 12-15-2005 - 7:30pm
I think it's worth a phone call. If nothing else, to let P.E. teacher know that you are keeping an eye on this. Maybe the teacher will shed some light on the deficiency notice, and his grading practices.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Thu, 12-15-2005 - 7:31pm

I'm from the day when PE was graded on performance rather than effort or improvement too.... I hated the class coz I'm a klutz, and was easily intimidated by the jocks who were pretty much the only ones to get As in the class.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2003
Thu, 12-15-2005 - 8:52pm

Well, I've cooled down a little, but not much! I failed to mention in my op that DS is in SIXTH grade -- middle school! This is not the time to come down on a chubby 11yo because he can't run a mile in the time some grown-up maga-running weanie thinks he should. Being in middle school is tough enough without being made to feel inferior because of physical abilities.

DD went through this same school with the same coaches and she is most definitely NOT of the athletic mind-set. I think she WALKED most of her runs over the course of the three years and still brought home A's in PE.

If I didn't see DS immediately after PE and didn't see his physical condition, I might think he's trying to pull a fast one on me. BUT ... since I see his hot, sweaty, stinking self right after PE, I'm confident he's not standing around gabbing with his buds when he's supposed to be participating.

Thanks for your input.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-18-2005
Fri, 12-16-2005 - 6:39am

I'd call the teacher - just as you'd call any teacher where your DS was having a hard time. Maybe if you talk about how your son is really trying, the gym teacher will compromise or come up with an alternate plan. Leah had a hard time in gym class at the end of elementary - was overweight and out of shape - the gym teacher let her do some alternative activities (especially in gymnastics).

FWIW - I was horrible in gym ALWAYS - and still managed to do OK in the world!! I know physical fitness is important (and I'm thrilled that Leah is now very fit and does excellent in gym), but I also believe that gym teachers take themselves a little too seriously sometimes.

(((HUGS))) to your son!

Sue

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2005
Fri, 12-16-2005 - 9:15am
Haven't read the other posts, but I'm dropping in w/my 2 cents. I'd be on the phone with the teacher asking (politely, of course) for clairification. I would also tell him about ds's anxiety about PE class. He may be misreading your son. I really feel for yor ds.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2004
Fri, 12-16-2005 - 5:30pm

Gym is a blow off class at most schools, you dress and you try, and you get an A. Not being the most athletically inclined person, I can deal with this. Always pick softball when given a choice, and you'll NEVER do anything. (Not demeaning softball, just school softball). At some schools, there's a different theory. In other classes, kids who are bad at the subject, whether it be math, english, french, or something else, don't get an A if they just try. There's people who will try hard, study, do all they're homework, and still get a C in that class. Why shouldn't it be the same for gym? If they want a better grade, working out at home and taking the extra steps to get in shape would help.

However, this really only works if gym is graded by improvement. "Johnny runs a mile in 6 minutes so he gets an A, but Bobby ran it in 10 minutes so he gets a D" doesn't work because personal fitness is effected by everything in your life, and obviously everyone's different. And one quarter is enough time to show improvement, maybe not by midterms for some people though.

So, you might be in the wrong mindset about this. I know you see him sweaty and red in the face, but preteen boys can get sweaty pretty easily, which is something to keep in mind. I'm sure you're used to seeing A's on report cards, because both of your kids seem really smart, and i'd be so mad too if my GPA was ruined by gym...

I'd call the teacher, absoluetly. The teacher might not be taking your son's circumstances into account, in which case the grade should be changed, or s/he'd be able to explain, which is always nice. Just think those things are some to keep in mind.

Korie



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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2004
Sat, 12-17-2005 - 10:06am

Call the teacher now, don't let this blow up into something more. He is 11 yrs old and is likely having some problems with the kids & his not being able to keep up. I HATED gym, I couldn't do anything right and tripped over my own 2 ft. I felt stupid & very dumb because I could never please my gym teachers. It didn't matter that I got As in other subjects, I let this class impact me as it is also closely linked to how we look. I used to try so hard and the teachers always said that I showed no effort. Help your DS by meeting with the teacher to ask for "their help" with the situation.

Somehow, in spite of being a geek I had 3 kids who are all sports nuts and work out daily. Go figure, Dee.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2003
Sat, 12-17-2005 - 10:29am

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Very good point. I am blessed with two children who put forth minimal effort in school and bring home straight A's.

Of course I have to add a BUT ... first day of school all the kids were told (and the parents too, at Back to School Night) that PE grades were based on participation ... you come to class, dress out, have the right shoes on, participate, you get an A. Knowing DS like we do, he's going with the program. He does everything with all his heart ... he like to be first, likes to be best, DOESN'T like being one of the kids who misses he run time by 17 seconds.

DH is even more frosted than I am ... he signed the deficiency and attached a pretty lenghty letter to the coach asking for explanation for the deficiency. Basically this -- DS made his run times all last quarter, what is different now? He got straight A's (including one in PE) and highest marks for effort and citizenship? What is different this quarter that is affecting his effort? DS says, and this is confirmed by DD, that this particular coach has his students run an extra lap but does NOT allow extra time to do it in.

Thanks for you thoughts on this. We'll see what happens after the holiday is over.

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