Input please re: 18dd, car accident

Avatar for heartsandroses2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Input please re: 18dd, car accident
8
Thu, 12-22-2005 - 9:42am

My 18dd was hit by another car on Friday evening at a busy intersection. No one was physically hurt, but the cars were damaged, though not too severe. Anyway, my H and I called the mother of the boy and offered her the opportunity to pay for the damages out of pocket rather than go through the insurance as her son is only 17 and you all know that her insurance rates will go through the roof. The mother was very happy about this option, however, as soon as she started talking, she began to relate to me all her money woes and situation (single mom), insurance payments are due next week, Christmas is coming, etc. While on the one hand I feel really awful about the situation, my dd just only bought this car (it is older and used but in really great shape inside and out) and we want it to last her at least the next 3 years while she's away at college. We want it to look nice as well.

Both estimates we received came in at or around $2500. Well, obviously this mother can't afford that kind of out of pocket expense, but she doesn't want to go through her insurance. She asked for a day or so to see if her parents would lend her the money. She suggested we go through a local tech school body shop, but they said it could take up to 3 weeks and my dd needs her car for school and work. As if is, if it goes to a normal shop, we will have to juggle our schedules with one car for a while week! Really, she should get a rental. The mom also suggested that maybe we could get the parts from a junkyard and my H could do the work in our garage. We don't know this family, we've never met and I found it a little presumtuous for her to suggest this last option. *She even commented that we were a 2 income family and she's only got one making $8/hour!

Having been a single mom, I realize the strain the financial situation, especially when unexpected expenses come up. However, isn't this what we have insurance for after all? I think it was stupid of me to offer the cash option and I just should have called the insurance. On the other hand, I feel sympathy for this mother, having been in her shoes. But then again, why let your son get his license and drive your car if you're not prepared for the consequences, right? I mean, if my dd was the cause of an accident, we'd have to be prepared to suck it up and either pay what it costs or go through our insurance. I mean, that's the risk you take when you allow your teen to drive and be on your insurance.

So, what would you do? Any comments welcome!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2003
Thu, 12-22-2005 - 10:09am
Maybe I'm heartless but I'd go to the insurance option. I realize you wanted to do this person a favour but she appears to be manipulating the situation now to the point where it might end up costing you more money in the end. I feel for her, as you do, but as you said she should have realized this might occur some day and if her son is old enough to drive, he's old enough to get a part time job and pay for the damage and the increased insurance.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2003
Thu, 12-22-2005 - 11:57am

I tend to agree with diamonds. I would feel bad for her too, but the way things are going now, you may not get it repaired at all, or at least not a quality repair, if you go down the road she is suggesting.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000
Thu, 12-22-2005 - 12:19pm
Glad no one was hurt.
Pam
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2005
Thu, 12-22-2005 - 1:58pm

Hi there,
We were in a similiar situation with our dd when she was 17 only she was at fault for the accident. I will tell you how we handled it. She was charged with making an unsafe left turn, the fine was 100.00. The added cost on our insurance was 300.00 a year. I know what it is like to have that on your insurance with the high cost for young drivers today. Our van was written off by our insurance company and this was our only vehicle as my husband has a company truck that we cannot drive. Our van was 7 years old and of course you only get what it is worth from the insurance, so in order to replace our vehicle we were out of pocket for the additional cost. So we did this, dd paid the 100.00 fine and the extra 300.00 for insurance per year for 5 years, we ate the additional cost for replacing our vehicle. dd's total cost 1600.00, ours 5000.00.

We went through the insurance because we felt it was the best way for our dd to learn a very big lesson, a lesson learned sooner rather than later where there might be serious injury to her or someone else, and that you have to be resonsible for your actions good or bad. Also we also do not know the other people involved and what they might do down the road that could come back to bite us in the butt. At last I have to say that my daughter now 19 is a very responsible drive, no more stupid activities with the vehicle. She still drives our car but only out of need not for pleasure. Yes it was an exspensive lesson, and we are not wealthy, but well worth it because I also have a younger dd who will be driving soon, she too has learned through her sisters ordeal. My older dd says it sucks being the oldest because she is the one to make the mistakes and the younger one avoids the same ones Ha Ha

Hope this helps in your decision, dont wait too long too decide, there could be some legal ramifications.

Cat

Avatar for elc11
Community Leader
Registered: 06-16-1998
Thu, 12-22-2005 - 2:54pm

I agree with the others that you have given the other person enough time to come up with the cash and now you need to proceed with solving your problems. I think that it was very nice of you to offer her an option other than telling the insurance company but you shouldn't have to start carrying her problems and making more problems for yourself! Your dd needs her car repaired and back on the road.

Even if she can find the cash I would recommend using a reputable established body shop that will issue you a warranty on their work, in case there are problems later.

Does the insurance pay for use of a rental car while your dd's car is undrivable? Our policy pays for one for up to 30 days. Here in CA Enterprise car rental will rent to 18yo's, and some of the indendent rental places like RentAWreck.

Good luck!

Avatar for heartsandroses2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 12-22-2005 - 3:15pm

Thanks everyone - you've confirmed my own thoughts. Although I can empathize with this mother, I must be more concerned with repairing my dd's car and getting things back to normal around here. I assume her insurance would have to cover the cost of a rental for my dd to us, as dd is 18 and it shouldn't be a problem here in CT.

I told the mom that I would wait to hear from her tonight regarding her call into her agent and/or her parents to borrow the money, but if I don't hear anything, I will call the insurance first thing in the morning. I am afraid that her insurance will be suspended and we'll be stuck if too much time passes. Fortunately, I have some time on my side as we only got the second estimate yesterday.

Thanks. I don't know why this is so hard for me. It seems so ruthless. I am in the insurance business and yet, I hate the whole insurance industry!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2004
Fri, 12-23-2005 - 1:39am
It looks like this have been fairly well covered already.
Asuming you have her insurance company name and all of her details, I'd get this filed quickly. Hopefully, there was a police report at the time of the accident that identifies her as the liable party. Sometimes facts can change into tall tales...
Avatar for heartsandroses2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 12-23-2005 - 10:28am

The mother called me last night and said she has contacted her insurance company and it will be put through - we should be hearing from an adjuster any day now. Yeah! I am so relieved.

And yes, daddio, we have the police report.

Thanks everyone! Sometimes I just need a nod to let me know I'm not crazy.