Another MySpace Question
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| Wed, 12-28-2005 - 3:03am |
Just returned from vacation to find that my niece has set her MySpace to private (meaning that she has to add me as a friend for me to access her profile). I don't want my niece to know that I am monitoring her MySpace page (long story, but basically she is 14, we bought her the computer for an early Xmas present, and she lives with her grandmother, who wouldn't know how to turn on the computer, much less check what goes on the MySpace page).
Okay, so my question is this: is there a way I can get to her profile without her adding me as a friend? I really want to continue to monitor without her knowing it. I also feel that if you have to make your page private, then there's something on it you don't want others to see, but maybe that is old-fashioned thinking.
Thanks in advance.

what is it with 14 year olds???? My DD set it up for private too and after I saw what this board was saying about MySpace, I made her cancel her account.
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Give her grandmother a heads up on what is on the computer (trouble for 14 y/o) and tell her to have her cancel the account.
YOu do it because you want to protect her, not to be nosy.
I found out alot from my DD's my space buddies around her school. Wow! The trash and secrets that I found could ground them until graduation. High school friends drinking and they tell about it on the website. I'd love to alert some parents...
LARK
Well, you could put computer monitering software on her computer and moniter it from your computer.
Or, you could make a fake myspace account and say you're 14 or 15 or whatever and ask to be her friend (kudos to her if she doesn't add "you" because she doesn't know "you")
Or, you could log in as "her" using her email and password, if you know what those are.
My space... yeah I know the site, my daughter has a
spot on it too. I made her give me the password, explained
to her that I wasn't spying on her, just wanting to make
sure that this is a safe thing for her. I explained to her
about the myspace user who was molested because the preditor
that was lurking got her personal info, I have since found
out from her that she has had several "friend requests" from
older men.... something that has me worried, she denied them
but she has had some personal info up on the site and that
worries me... I am glad that she denied them, but whos to
say that they don't know what they want to know?? scares me
I thought about your situation and I would do one of two things
1 - tell her that if she cannot follow safe internet proceedure,
that maybe you will have to take the computer back! Demand her
password. Have her use a "fake" name.
2 - make your own space, and then request to be her friend. you
will have to pose yourself to be of interest to her and maybe,
just maybe she will fall for it... sounds wrong, but then we have
to make sure that they are okay...
I don't know what else we can do, anyone else care to comment?
My daughter is a good kid and was introduced to myspace about a year ago by a friend, another good kid. Our computer is in the living area of our home so everyone's business on the pc is 'public domain'. I allowed my daughter to make a page with a few rules attached----I can access her page any time I want and need to know the password at all times. If she changed it or there was any unacceptable content on her page, she'd have to cancel it immediately. Well, she followed the rules the whole time she had her page but that wasn't the problem. My problem with myspace is that any member has access to any other member just by 'searching'. They can read other pages and see disgusting, vile content all they want. The only time you have to ask for a member's permission is if you want to leave comments on their page. Otherwise, you can see all the trash that's out there. After personally seeing pictures of kids from our community smoking pot, hot-tubbing, underage drinking and partying, not to mention the filthy language used in their comments left for eachother, I decided my daughter needed to cancel her account and I blocked all access to the myspace site from our pc. Of course she was upset and used the argument that she shouldn't be punished by having to cancel her acct. since she wasn't doing anything wrong herself. I just told her that even though I was proud of her for keeping a nice, clean 'page' and having only good friends on her list, that just by being a member of that 'community', she was supporting it, which was wrong. The whole thing is just a huge waste of time for kids and I've not seen one thing positive about it. Also, a major red flag should go up to any parent/guardian who sees their kid setting their page to 'private'. They're hiding something for a reason and I'd nix that behavior immediately. Just my two cents. Happy New Year and God Bless America!
Hmmm... I inisisted that my dd set her myspace to private so that she could control who contacted her. I knew the password and she knew I checked on her. If I were in your position, I'd tell your neice that the owning the computer is conditional on her using it responsibly and I would ask for her passwords. You could also install monitoring software if you wish.
We told dd the "rulse" for myswpace were: Nothing goes in your myspace that you would not be willing to allow Nana or ou parish priest to read. That pretty much covered it.
By the way, I recently shut down all of her accounts, email, myspace, IM. She'd been spending too much time online and lied to me about a math test. At that point, we told her she could not go on the internet on school nights because it was too distracting and affecting her grades. She went online during restricted time and we pulled the plug. She was upset, but I guess she learned the lesson that we meant business. She recently told me that she feels much more peaceful without it. Hmmm...
Anyway, tell her the rules and stick with them.
After reading this thread, I went and got an account and searched for my son. Sure enough he has an account and it's set to private. I'm so thankful for reading this thread as now I am no blind to the fact that my son did indeed go set up an account.
I intend to ask him to invite me as a friend and if he refuses, I'll tell him he must cancel his account or make his space public so I can see it. We have what I think is a good relationship, so honestly I think he'll accept my request to be a friend. Here's hoping....
I did notice that he said he was 14, when he really is 13 and won't be 14 until March....grrrrrrr
HUGS, CHRISTY
Chat CL Vasectomy Reversal
{By the way, I recently shut down all of her accounts, email, myspace, IM. She'd been spending too much time online and lied to me about a math test}
Just curious...how long was she angry with you about that?
Not very long, actually. What I failed to mention in my post (because I was digressing about shutting donw her stuff anyway) was that this was a repeat offense. She was told - the last time - that the next offense would result in painful consequences. It probably sounds harsh without knowing the whole story (which I will spare you), but she had many opportunities to keep her accounts.
The amzaing thing is that she recongizes that maybe the drama of it all was a little too much for her....