Update since Christmas
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| Sat, 01-07-2006 - 11:59pm |
I've been gone for a few weeks. Oldest DD came home for Christmas so this computer was the last thing on my although I did think of many of you several times. Alot has happened over the last few weeks that I would like to share with you.
Youngest DD (17) was accepted to college. Yes, to the school that her dad and I think is totally wrong for her. She and her dad had a major discussion over this. I finally sent them both to their rooms for a time out. The next day, DH and I discussed it and I pointed out that while I agree it's not the best choice for her in our opinions, we are not the ones that have to go. Since we have made our concerns known, she is too stubborn to do anything but succeed. If we made her go elsewhere, that same stubbornness would cause her to fail. Last night, I bought her a UT Knoxville t-shirt and laid it on her bed. When she came in and went upstairs, I suddenly heard her running down the steps and she jumped in the middle of my bed. She was excited. So at least that's dealt with - the decision part, not all the paperwork. She didn't like that we were going to make her fill out all the forms alone but we believe that if she's old enough to be that much on her own, she should be able to handle it. We also made her sister do it. She didn't like it either but she admitted later that it was good for her. I will of course answer any specific questions but for the most part its her baby now.
Same DD just walked in the room the other day and informed me that she would no longer be refilling her birth control as there was no need and all it does is make her sick. I was stunned. We've had several programs at church with the youth on pre-marital sex. I guess maybe they paid off. The next day, I asked her if they had both agreed to this and that it will be hard to not have sex and date the same person. She told me they haven't had sex in three months and while he doesn't like it, he accepts her choice and isn't pressuring her. I tried to tell her I was proud of her but she cut me off - this was an embarrassing conversation to have and her decision was made.
The ex b/f is calling again. She assures me she isn't encouraging this. I pointed out to her that one of her reasons for wanting to go such a large school was b/c of the rumor-mill in a small one and that usually the rumors involving her, have been started by him. She said she would keep that in mind.
Oldest DD came home for the holidays and seemed much happier this visit than at Thanksgiving. I think she was exhausted from school the previous visit. It was wonderful to see her happy and just to have her sitting on my couch in her pj's till noon or later. It was great to hear her door shut at 1:30 am b/c her little sister was in there talking with her. It all felt normal. I'm getting a little teary.
Oh and mom had surgery earlier in the week on her sinuses. She says she feels better than she has for a long time b/c she's sleeping now. Sleep is always a good thing.
Thanks for letting me share. I have one more week off work and I plan to spend it either reading or cleaning so I may not make it back for a while.
Have a good week!
Lia

Thanks for the update, lia!
Thanks for the update - sounds like you had a busy, but nice, school vacation. Glad to hear your older DD seemed happier - and gossiping with her sister as normal!
I hope your younger DD will be OK at the college she has chosen - if she sees you and DH as allies, rather than enemies, maybe she'll let you help her with the challenges at school. It's so hard to know before you get there how a particular school will work out. If it's really wrong for her, changing schools is not impossible. and if it's the right school for her, she'll feel great for choosing it on her own.
(((HUGS)))
Sue
jt
Wow, Lea, I'm so happy for you that your dd has made that choice! I lurk on the tt board, and I just read a post that said how unlikely it is for teens to abstain once they have lost their virginity. But perhaps with your good influence, and patience, and prayer things have turned around. This is where I believe parents can make a difference. Good for you!
Shels