upset with boyfriend
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upset with boyfriend
| Tue, 01-10-2006 - 7:54am |
My daughter suffered a concussion and has a small bleed in her brain due to getting hit in her school basketball game. The past couple of days noise has really bothered her. It is getting better but she still has to take it easy till her next ct scan. Her boyfriend seemed really concerned unitl I told him that she may not be able to go to a big rivalry basketball game. I am cocnerned that the noise will really get to her. The game is tomorrow night (Wed Jan 11). Before I told him that she may not get to go he was concerned that she wasnt as well as she is pretending and that I should force her back to the doctor. After I said she may not get to go he is trying to convince me she is fine and convice her too. When I asked him what is going to happen if she gets to the game and can't handle the noise. His comment was can't she wear ear plugs. Now tell me where does this boy's priority lay. Several times he has made excuses not to get together with her cuz he wanted to watch sports on TV (which if that's what he wants to do that is his choice) but then he begs her to come to where he works and sit and when he gets a chance he will come and talk to her. I am getting quite fed up but my daughter takes up for him and makes excuses for him. Another way he was priorities mixed up, these rivalries tickets went on sell at 6:30 am and he was there in line. But my daughter has to call him several times a morning to wake him up for his 8 am college classes. Any suggestions

Dating priorities are different for every teen. He is exhibiting some very typical immature behavior - he wants his way when he wants it. I'm sure he understands she's sick and he wants her well asap. But he also wants to share something special with her - this basketball game.
All I can really say is that DD's b/f is the same way. He wants her to spend Sunday afternoons with him b/c that doesn't interfere with his duck hunting but he won't go to a late movie with her b/c he has to get to bed so he can get up early. The fact that she has family responsibilities on Sunday afternoon that can't be avoided is not important to him.
This is something they will have to work out on their own. However, I wouldn't let her go to the game if it would slow down her progress or make her feel alot worse. Her well-being is your responsibility.
i agree with the other poster - and i see two separate issues here:
first - ther e is the relationship between your dd and her bf. if your dd is ok with the way things are - then that is her life. you can talk to her, and you can make sure that SHE can talk to YOU if she needs to but hopefully your dd will work this out on her own. you can open discussions that are more 'in general' about people using other people, and controlling men, etc - without going into specifics. (unless you feel that he is controlling and abusive)
second - there is the immediate health problem . since you are the parent and your dd's health should be your concern - she should not be allowed to go to the game PERIOD. she might be upset and he might be upset - but i think that her long-term health is more important at this time.