Oh, and meet my third child......ha ha.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-29-2003
Oh, and meet my third child......ha ha.
4
Tue, 01-10-2006 - 9:53am

I have a 20 yr old niece that is the mother of a 2 1/2 yr old daughter. Her mother or father don't live near us, so I try my very best to help out and offer sound REASONABLE advice to her. I feel like I've inherited another kid!

She's highly upset that her birth control is no longer covered by her insurance plan. She plans on complaining to get her way because she wasn't notified that it was no longer covered. Right. We work for state government, and I have the same insurance as she does. A yearly list of covered medications is published each year, and it is up to us as consumers to determine if our medications are still on the formulary list. She didn't do this, and now is mad. Birth control PILLS are covered 100%, but she refuses to take them. She forgets to.

ARRGGHHH--rather than take the high road and grow up and be responsible, she wants to make the insurance company miserable for failure to tell her that her inserted birth control will no longer be covered. Rather than just go with the flow and LEARN TO RESPONSIBLY take the pills, she's going to throw a fit. And she gets huffy with ME for trying to gently make her see she's being unreasonable. It isn't as if there is no covered birth control.............

Why me? It most certainly is a weepy day for me. If anyone even LOOKS at me, I'll probably cry.

Shels

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2005
Tue, 01-10-2006 - 11:35am

I understand your frustration - wouldn't life be so much simpler if everyone would just grow up and act like we think they should (being a little sarcastic there). As a mom of you a young adult that is halfway across the country, I truly appreciate your taking on the guiding role with your niece. I would feel so much better if I knew there was someone other than DD's b/f's family close to my DD. I'm sure they are nice people but I wish she had someone less close to him in support of her. Anyway, thanks for doing that for her.

I can only suggest what I did with my youngest DD when she was taking birth control (key word to me is WAS). Anyway, I bought her a day pill box. I made sure she filled it up on Sunday. Everynight she when she brushed her teeth, she was to take a pill, brush her teeth and then put the toothbrush on the pill box. I worked for her and she has ADD and was only 16 at the time. So it might work for a little more responsible 20 y/o.

Good Luck and take a good long deep breath when those tears want to come. Hugs!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-29-2003
Tue, 01-10-2006 - 12:17pm

My parents and my grandparents tell me regularly that they appreciate my involvement with my niece. I know that it helps......I know she counts on me........I think that maybe my opinion is jaded because she's worked full time (got a state government job immediately after high school graduation) and has a daughter that she ought to be more mature, but I have to take a step back, and realize she's barely out of her teen years herself. It's just hard not to want to shake her into reality sometimes.

She needs me, and I will ALWAYS be here for her...........but there are days--like today--when her self centered, unreasonable attitude (hmmmm, could she be related to me?) gets on my everlasting nerves!

Smiles,
shel

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2005
Tue, 01-10-2006 - 12:25pm

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ROFL - Youngest DD is just like me in so many ways and those are the very things about her that drive me to anti-depressants. She keeps it all inside and then just blows. She will say anything to get a good fight going when she needs to get it out. She knows how to turn on those tears. I was just like that as a teen and have to work so hard to not revert back when dealing with her. I will be so lonely without her when she leaves and will probably have a nervous breakdown (provided I haven't already had one by then).

I've decided to go out for lunch today and I will have that pie with ice cream in your honor. What flavor do you want?

Lia

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-29-2003
Tue, 01-10-2006 - 12:39pm

Tequila flavored to block out the fear of the dentist!! hahahaha. Just kidding.

I never had trouble with my teeth or a fear of the dentist....now that I need stuff done, I'm SCARED to death..........that stupid hook like needle probe hit something one time in a tooth and I nearly came out of the chair.............so I know THAT is why I hate that thing, but other than that, I've not had a bad experience......I think it is just dread of what needs to be done (DENIAL, DENIAL, DENIAL----it says in neon lights on my forehead).

Enjoy your lunch out. I'll leave at noon (20 min) to go brush my teeth and head off to the dentist. I'll report later. I'm sure it will be NOTHING compared to what I fear it will be.

Shels