Need advice Fast re: sons break up

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2004
Need advice Fast re: sons break up
5
Wed, 01-11-2006 - 2:42am
I really need advice quickly on what to say to my 12+ son. His girlfriend broke up with him tonight and he is very upset. The relationship was a first love and altho very innocent as far as relationships go it was a very big deal for him. When he was talking to me about it tonight he was crying and I was sitting there trying to remember all the things I had read about being supportive in this situation... what to say... what not to say...
Can anyone give me some advice ASAP because I'd like to be a little more effective the next time he and I talk about this.
Thanks
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000
Wed, 01-11-2006 - 8:38am
Aww - it's tough to see your child hurt.
Pam
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2005
Wed, 01-11-2006 - 9:00am
I'm with Pam on this one. While the heartbreak is most likely very real to him, you have to put it in the persepective that it is a 12 year old heartbreak. This is one of those situations where it is probably best to say very little. Just listen, offer hugs and iceream and wait for it to pass.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Wed, 01-11-2006 - 1:33pm

I'm with Pam on this too, breakups at this age tend to wear off pretty quickly.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 01-11-2006 - 3:11pm
Perfect advice, Rose!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2004
Wed, 01-11-2006 - 10:00pm
I agree. Rose put it well.
Validating his feelings is quite important and helps lay the groundwork for future communication with tough issues.
I still remember a similar situation in the stone age when I was 13. My mother (who is a saint and didn't know any better) dismissed it as "cute", saying there will be plenty of time for "real" girlfriends when your older, using all sorts of infuriating terms like "puppy love" etc.
It certainly didn't make me feel better....