www.wayn.com????? Heard of it?
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| Sat, 03-11-2006 - 9:10pm |
Anyone heard of this website? It appears to be alot like myspace. DD told me she thought myspace was "stupid" well, it's clear she didn't want to do myspace because ds16 is on myspace and might see what she's doing there. I checked her profile, and so far a number of males (one as old as 39!) and nothing but males have asked to be her "friends". She listed her age as "22" but under personal information writes that she is only 14. Looking hard for the silver lining, at least she didn't post a provocative picture of herself....grasping at straws here. I'm livid but trying to keep calm. It seems like everytime we take two steps forward we take three steps back. She has shown improvement in her grades...bringing up 2 F's to C's this progress report. She was starting to act like her old self again but even that is different day to day. I thought we were getting "closer" again, but it's clear its probably just a act and let's face it, when she's being nicer I tend to ease up on her. She's not stupid, I'm only surprised it took her this long to figure it out.
I'm feeling like a wimp these days because I want to so badly for my dd not to hate me and for us to have the kind of relationship that some of you seem to enjoy with your teen girls, obviously not an impossibility...but it's clear that she's going to have to hate me. I'm sorry about that, but I don't see there is any other way for us....being the enforcer of rules and consequences makes me very unpopular around here....sigh.
Feeling sorry for myself in California (where it's so cold we have snow on our hills for the first time in decades).

Funny you mention the snow, I am in Buffalo, NY and we had temps up around 60 today. but that is beside the point.
I don't know of your situation, but can gather a lot from your post. I haven't been around for awhile and just came tonight to vent in another post, then saw yours.
I know what you feel, wanting to have a good relationship. I do have a pretty good relationship with my dd, 16 yo, but sometimes we just have times that I think she will have to hate me too. She doesn't, I am lucky and she always comes back, but there are times when I think that one of these days she won't end up back in that nice relationship. Sometimes being the parent just isn't the popular place to be. There are times I think, "Oh she is going to hate this" and she does, but I just can't back down on somethings. That is our job as parents to guide them and be the enforcer of rules.
I haven't heard of that website, dd has a myspace and I check that out every so often and check out her friends too. Last week my niece asked Kelsie if I read they myspace things and Kelsie told her no, because her cuz doesn't want me to see hers. Well of course I checked it out. I wasn't crazy about what I saw, but it wasn't anything horrible, mostly just bad language. I guess if I were you I would keep a close eye on that website and what happens on it. I would be very concerned that there are men asking to be her "friends" she needs to be aware that there are predators out there. I would say, talk to her even if she isn't happy about it.
Hang in there,
Kristie
I was asked by a friend to join wayn and did but really haven't used it so I can't help you much with it.
I know you are exhausted and I was too at one point. Be sure to focus some time on yourself and doing things you enjoy. For me it was gardening, especially pulling weed - something about that destructive/constructive behavior worked out alot of stress. I also read alot - just really no plot fiction.
My DD truly hated me when I told her no contact at all with her ex b/f. She thought I was taking away her best friend and that he couldn't survive his very dysfunctional family if he didn't have her to talk to. I was a horrible, uncaring, mean old b**ch. Two years later, she has survived and amazingly enough so has he. She even understands why and agrees that I was right.
Just make sure that DD knows you love her. Show her praise for even the smallest right. Be consistent in discipline, no matter exhausting it becomes for you. She's worth it and in a few more months you will begin to see a true change. I saw the fake, pretend change and honestly happy to see - at least I got a break for a little while. Eventually it will become geniune.
Good Luck.
Thanks for responding to my post when you were having trouble of your own. I talked to dd and she said she would take her page down, but I'm going to go ahead and do it for her. The thing that disturbed me the most is that all these men had asked to be her "friend". And one of the things about the site is that you are supposed to mention exactly where you're from because its a "traveling" type site, seems to be just tailor made for pedophiles....I told dd she could keep the site after changing her age and omitting her town. She said she isn't that interested in the site anyway....hmmmm...I'll continue to monitor.
My two cents about your dd's situation is that you're lucky she is so honest with you. My dd would not have revealed quite as much, fearing that I would put the nix on future endeavors of this type. Still, you are right to do so, but I don't think it's dd's fault at all that they're chaperone was "nowhere to be found".