daughter's boyfriend

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
daughter's boyfriend
4
Sun, 03-12-2006 - 7:19pm
My daughter's boyfriend is in regular communication with daughter's much younger cousin - a cousin who daughter rarely communicates with and very seldom even sees. Somehow this seems depraved to me (BF is Senior in HS and has few friends his own age; niece is in 8th grade. Is something wrong with me? If not, how do I explain to daughter that this is not right (think she agrees, but gets defensive re BF).
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2005
Sun, 03-12-2006 - 7:40pm

Hmmmm. I would tend to be concerned about a HS senior with few friends his own age who is in regular contact with an 8th grader. This sends my red flags waving even without factoring in the cousin thing.

jt

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2005
Sun, 03-12-2006 - 10:54pm
I also smell a fish. Your teenage daughter will not understand why this is weird, but your instinct is right.

Avatar for jupiterfit
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2003
Mon, 03-13-2006 - 4:27am
How does he communicate with her? IM's, phone? It does sound odd. He probably has some self-esteem issues. It's common for kids with low self-esteem to hang around much younger kids. It's one thing to casually say hi to cousin, but to make regular contact...no. He needs to be more mature and hang around people closer to his own age. I understand about dd getting defensive about bf; very typical. Sometimes you have to take your chances and just say something with a caring/concerned voice. Keep it short. If that doesn't work talk directly to him and say "I'm not sure if you know, but cousin is only in 8th grade. Are you talking to her regularly?" It might make him uncomfortable enough to knock it off.
Debbie
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2005
Mon, 03-13-2006 - 4:30am

I find that pretty odd, too. How do the 8th grader's parents feel about the situation?

Jane