alcohol and teens
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alcohol and teens
| Tue, 03-21-2006 - 3:35pm |
Anyone else out there ever been in your teens car for whatever reason when they weren't around and found alcohol hidden there? What did you do about it? DH wants to take the car away for a month and tell her if it ever happens again he will sell the car. She is mad that we were "snooping in her car" and into to her privacy, but we truly did accidently find it and I feel like I have every right to be in her car that WE did pay for by the way......Just when you want to trust them and they are being really good it seems like there is always a bomb ready to drop. Looks like I'll be driving her around for awhile... hope she gets the message that it is illegal and is an MIP waiting to happen, and obviously she is consuming it somewhere..UGH

Hi! Fortunately, I haven't had that experience yet, but I fully agree with your DH's response. Good Luck!
Amelia
I don't have teen drivers yet (still a couple years away) but I do have strong feelings about alcohol and driving. Throw a teen driver into the equation and it's just bad, bad, bad.
I agree with your DH. Taking her car is very reasonable consequence, imo. You could very well be saving her life ... or the life of someone else.
Just my 2 cents,
I occasionally peep through my 18dd's car. We helped her buy it, she's on our insurance, she's underage and she lives in our house - damn straight I'm going to be checking to make sure she has nothing illegal in her car!! I casually look in there about once a month.
No need to feel bad about it and too bad if she doesn't see that you're right. Just imagine if she got stopped for a broken taillight or something stupid and the police saw the bottle(s). That would be a nightmare.
She's only proving her immaturity, IMO, by being so obnoxious about it. I'm with your H - lose the car for a month.
I too would take the car away. I have taken the car away from my DD for driving too fast, driving w/o a seatbelt, etc. so yeah - the car would be parked for a while. In order to improve the mood, I might tell her that she may the car to do something very specific if she can behave in a respectful manner to those people that she lives with. I wouldn't let her drive just to hang out with someone. I would let her drive once a week to work or school and straight back home. She's used to having that cartime w/o someone looking over her shoulder and it's very frustrating to suddenly have it gone but it would most definitely be tied to her behavior and attitude. Give her a little incentive to improve her mood. This will also let her know that you understand how frustrating this how situation is to her and that you are not doing this just to show your authority and control. She will see that you feel that driving is a privilege that she can earn back - a little at a time.
Good Luck!
The most important thing here is your DD's safety, and it sounds to me like you and your DH are handling the situation in a fair way. Teens have a way of making you second guess your decisions. Hang in there.