Am I being over-protective?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2005
Am I being over-protective?
17
Thu, 03-23-2006 - 4:45pm

The drama teacher at school showed the kids the movie "Rent". I am severely opposed to her showing this movie with such overtly sexual themes to my 14 year-old son. One of my friends said that I am being over the top because I feel angry at this teacher over past incidents.

I thought I would come and see what your opinions are as I have come to trust your opinions as a frequent lurker,

Michelle

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2006
Thu, 03-23-2006 - 5:10pm

While I let my 14yo DD watch 'Rent', I am very surprised that the school would show it to students without parental notification and permission, for the very reasons you suggest in your post.

I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have objected to my DD seeing it the movie school, but I do think it would have to be with notification and a signed permission slip beforehand. This has been the case in the past with movies with questionable content, or with a PG-13 rating. (Even in the public school!)

I guess the short answer is no, I don't think you are being over protective.

 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Thu, 03-23-2006 - 5:36pm

My kids have all seen movies of similar content by the time they were 14, and they see/hear much worse in the music they listen to and the MTV videos they see.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2006
Thu, 03-23-2006 - 6:58pm
My 14yo has seen it many times as she is a musical theater freak. I let her go with her friends, but I would have been down to her school in 2 seconds had they shown it to her without my permission. I know what what my 14yo and I am comfortable with and that all 14 yo's are different. If they were going to show a movie with graphic violence I would not allow her it see it as I know how she reacts to those themes (tears and bad dreams). You are not over-protective and if you don't say anything, another teen that is not as mature will see it before they can handle the ideas.
Avatar for heartsandroses2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 03-24-2006 - 8:37am

You have every right to make comments about the content in your son's classroom. If you have concerns, I say make a call or drop an email and let the school know you do not approve. You certainly can't be the only parent with concerns.

I sent an email to my 16dd's school yesterday because they are watching the movie Bloom in her English class. The movie is not rated and has extremely overt sexual content - my dd came home from school and was very upset about it. She said that most of the class was sickened by the movie and she couldn't understand why they are showing this movie.

Another time, just before the holidays, just to kill time, the science teacher played the movie SAW - I was like, "What the??" That movie is rated R and most, if not all, of the kids in dd's class are under 18 at least. I just don't get how they make decisions like this without consulting the parents first.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2005
Fri, 03-24-2006 - 10:12am
I don't think you are being over protective. At that age the parents should be the ones to decide what their kids are watching. When my daughter who is now a senior was in second grade she had a teacher that was showing pg-13 movies. I objected to this because of several reasons, 1. not the things I wanted my daighter seeing in the 2nd grade, 2. was showing movies instead of teaching, so the other 2nd grade class was way ahead of hers. Eventually I pulled her from that school and sent her to another. If we as parents don't stand up for our kids who will.
Avatar for momtb4
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 03-24-2006 - 2:34pm
I'm sure the teacher was thinking PG-13=ok for anyone over 13. But, it was at the least a huge mistake in judgement. I think a call to the teacher AND the administration is most definately in order. Don't let this slip by. At the very, very least, every parent should have given verbal permission. I still get calls asking my permission for my student to do things, and he is gonna be 18 in less than a week. It's the STUDENT part that begs permission, not the age.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2005
Fri, 03-24-2006 - 4:36pm

Update: First, thank you for all of your thoughtful responses. I appreciate the feedback from other parents. Second, I am calling the school on Monday. This teacher has stepped over the line too many times. Today, my son came home from school and I asked what happened in Honors Geometry and if they were having their exam on Monday or Tuesday. He replied, "I missed most of the class since I was at the First Baptist Church helping with the fine arts show." I said, "Did your dad check you out." "No, Mrs. ______ did."

I am so unbelievably angry. I called her and she said, "I expect high school students to be able to communicate that information with their parents. So, does this change him volunteering tonight."

Michelle

Avatar for bookwormmom
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2003
Fri, 03-24-2006 - 9:49pm
I have a couple things to say here to this whole subject.
1. No you aren't being overprotective. I agree with the others, movies shouldn't be shown with out permission from parents, at least not ones that my have questionable content, which is most movies today. Our Middle School even gets permission for PG movies.
2. I don't care if a child is in HS or not they shouldn't be the ones to communicate these things to the parents. Teens are known to be poor communicators. Communication like this is the teachers responsibility.
3. A teacher shouldn't be taking a student out of school with out the parents permission for any reason and especially a non-school related one. I am very close friends with many of my kids teachers, past and present, and none of them would ever think of taking my kids out of school or even driving them home without asking my permission first. It just isn't right!
4. I am surprised that the school let the teacher take him out without written permission from you.
5. Since you talked with the teacher already, I would definatly talk with administration on Monday and tell them all the complaints, not just this one incident.
6. My experience is that often the principal doesn't know some of these things are happening, because although parents may not be happy with things that are happening, they usually don't talk with the principal. So consequently, even if parents know there are problems, that the kids have problems with a teacher or whatever, the principal never hears it, so nothing ever happens.
Let us know what happens with this whole situation.
Good luck Monday,
Kristie
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2006
Sat, 03-25-2006 - 12:19am

I am appalled at this teacher's behavior! She should seriously be taken to task for signing a student out of school without parental knowledge or consent. I would be furious if this was me. He missed his math class to help set up for a show??

My hs DD attended a luncheon off campus on Thursday with another student and a school representative. Not only was I informed of this well in advance, I had to give permission to the school and also was required to call the school on the day of the luncheon and inform them what time she was leaving, who she was leaving with and what time she was expected back on campus.

I'd be out of the box with this one. Let us know how it goes Monday.

Good luck.

 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2005
Sat, 03-25-2006 - 9:37am
Michelle,
Something like this is really up to the individual families to decide. The drama teacher should have been sensitive to that. It has nothing to do with the merits of the movie. There are plenty of other musical/dramas out there. I did allow dd to see it, but that's really not the point. I'm with you - pox on the drama teacher for not thinking!
jt

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