my son tested positive for pot :(
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my son tested positive for pot :(
| Thu, 03-23-2006 - 5:21pm |
OMG, i knew something was up, i have a 16 yr ds and i was suspisious so i told him he had to have a urynalisis to as part of his physical...the pediatrician's office told my by phone the results..my stomach was in knots so i went to pick up a copy to confront my son w/it and i asked to speak to the doc..well, i ofcourse had to wait and after 1 hr, someone finally noticed i was still waiting..i guess nobody bothered to tell his nurse that i was waiting to see him, anyway, i did not mind waiting cuz it gave me time to relax , breath, think, and as i was sitting there, all those toddlers were coming and going , tears from fever, crying from shots, but when the mom handed them the lollipop at the counter after the apt, they was thrilled and smilling...i would take those days back in an instant and do it all different. God, what did it do that brought my son to not know better? i noticed his mood swings and tired all the time so that is why i asked for a toxicology/drug screen i just had a bad feeling...it came back positive for pot. we have not spoken to my son yet. the doc gave me urin bottles and i can test him in 30 days to see if he's clean...i have a counseling apt already set for him before i even got these results cuz i just did not like the way he was acting but he is refusing to go. now that i have this info, i may have more leverage to make him go. the doc said just if it was positive for something, be thinkful it's pot and not herion or crack or coke. .. i would just be happy w/sugar shock from too much candy. how do we handle this w/him? where do we go from here? anyone that has gone through this i would really like to know what you did and how you made out. thanx for listening...

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Don't have BTDT experience - just sending you hugs. What a tough, sad day for you. Hope you and your son talked and that he agreed to go to counseling.
(((HUGS)))
Sue
hugssssssssssssssssssssss
this must be such a terribe shock for you! i have no BTDT advise (thank God...) but just wanted to send you hugs. Hopefully, you will get your son straight into therapy, and hopefully there are groups for you too.
good luck and keep us posted
hugs again.
i agree that taking away the car is the right thing to do because you cannot trust him to drive sober. i also agree with pam that things may be more advanced than he is admitting to.
and one last thing - i know that pot is not considered a 'big deal' and that its not *as bad* as coke, heroin and others. BUT - it is important to remember that even with the 'lighter' drugs, kids can have a bad trip, get involved in bad decision making, accidents, etc. and also, its important to remember that one thing can lead to another - i once took a training course to work with substance abuse and kids - and one of the things that they talked about was how people never start just shooting herion - they usually start with cigarettes or 'lighter' drugs. I am not trying to make you freak out any more than you are already freaking out - i just want you to bear this in mind and DON'T make light of this.
its important to get him to counseling - bribe him if you have to . maybe call the clinic and ask them if they have any advise on how to 'force/convince' him to go...
again. hugs - and let us know how the counseling goes.
I am certainly not making light of this situation but he can tell me all he wants that he won't do it and he will b lying to me..he said he doesn't want to lie and he said he will tell me the truth and doesn't want to lie....i can't stop him, i can only ride him and remind him daily that it's a bad choice..he's already commented that he's still going to do it occasionally and wants to be honest. i don't know what else to do, i want him to go to the counseling and i will work on that this weekend. he called and went home sick w/a sore throat today, his father is livid and i think it's going to be a bad weekend...i told him if he goes home sick, he forfiets the approval to attend a party tonight at his friends. I guess you never really had any problems w/your 19 year old? you're very fortunate.
IMO, I think you handled the situation quite well. I agree that screaming and taking away all of his privileges would have only caused him to be more secretive. This way, you got him to open up and give you more information than he might have, otherwise. Perhaps now your DS will feel more at ease in discussing these issues with you and your DH and perhaps that will lead to him quiting.
I don't condone what he did, but as the doctor said, it could be worse. So, don't dispare since he sounds like he's basically a good kid who is simply experimenting. Keep the lines of communication open and hopefully he won't go any further with his pot use. From what he said to you, he does sound like he's thinking about the consequences and that also will, hopefully, lead to him quitting soon.
I wish you all well,
Mily
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