16 Year old drinking...punishment?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2006
16 Year old drinking...punishment?
9
Sat, 04-08-2006 - 12:59am
I am at a loss. My 16 year old just came home from a night out and she was obviously drunk. She has never been a problem until recently, she is good in school and sports etc. Lately she has been very secretive about where she is and who she is with.
My other two children were never a problem and I am not sure how to approach the subject with her tomorrow morning when she sobers up. Any suggestions on how to bring it up and what a punishment idea should be?
Any advice or suggestions would help
Thanks in advance.
Avatar for jupiterfit
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2003
Sat, 04-08-2006 - 11:48am
Well, my advice is try not to overreact. Ask what her night was like, was she drinking? Then you might give some info on the dangers of drinking and driving... they hate lectures, but you almost have to say something or they will think it's ok. If caught drinking and driving she will lose her license, game time in sports and pay a big fine. My DD found out the hard way. The ironic thing is, that night before they left I asked who would be driving... she said BF. I said, "Then you won't be drinking?" He drove HER car and they got pulled over. He was drunk, she had very little...0.01 BA (1/2 beer). BUT they both lost licenses.... him for 1 year and a $770 fine and she lost it for 1 month and $175 fine. I think she realized that I don't just say things for the heck of it. But, I didn't say that. Anyway back to your DD; also inform her that kids who start drinking early in life are more likely to become alcoholics as adults. Do you have any relatives who are alcoholics? You could mention that they probably started out as teen drinkers. We've had this kind of discussion and so far my two teens are steering clear of alcohol....even though they both tried it out for a bit.
Deb
Debbie
Avatar for jupiterfit
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2003
Sun, 04-09-2006 - 8:32am
How did your discussion go with DD?
Deb
Debbie
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-21-2006
Wed, 06-21-2006 - 1:47pm
I never in my wildest dreams imagined that being a parent could be so difficult. I have 3 children - two of them are the age when most kids are experimenting with drinking (and yes they are drivers). Well they watched the best video imaginable at school regarding drinking and driving. The video was from a television program, and it uses real kids and true stories. There is NO ACTING. The video was about the all American child who drank and then got behind the wheel, and yes, killed an innocent person. Every child should be made to watch this video. It actually won an Emmy. I promise you it is worth your time to check it out. You can go to www.connectwithkids.com and find out about this video called Shattered. Good luck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2005
Wed, 06-21-2006 - 2:45pm

Thanks for the link. I'm always interested in stuff like this, b/c I think it drives the point home better for my kids than a million lectures - in this age of tech savvy kids, hey, whatever works. Are you sure the video is called Shattered b/c I did a search under that name and can't find it. I would love to rent it and watch it with my teens...

Avatar for mily12
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
Wed, 06-21-2006 - 2:47pm

Thanks for the informaton. I'm going to ask my two if they've seen the video at school. I think I've heard it mentioned before.

It's scary, sometimes, being the parent of a teen. The fact that they think they are invincible makes it even scarier.

Mily

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2006
Wed, 06-21-2006 - 2:50pm

I, too, thought it was a good link, and just called them to order several of their products. "Shattered" is one of the titles - try looking on their "Store" link, and then scroll down until you see the subject "drugs". "Shattered" is listed under that.

Amelia

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2006
Wed, 06-21-2006 - 2:53pm

Thanks for the link! I just ordered several of the dvds, including "Shattered" and am looking forward to watching them with my two kids.

Amelia

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2005
Wed, 06-21-2006 - 3:28pm

Was she driving? If so, I would take away the keys to the car for a month. If not, you need to have a talk with her and let her know how dissapointed you are, and that you're not sure you can trust her at this point. Keep talking...

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-21-2006
Tue, 07-11-2006 - 10:34am
Yes, it is called "Shattered". I just went to www.connectwithkids.com and then clicked on "products" at the top. Next, click on "if you are a parent" at the bottom of the page. After that the video is listed under Drug/Alcohol Abuse. Also, you can preview the video while you are on the website. Good luck.