What do you do when your teen is sick?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2006
What do you do when your teen is sick?
26
Wed, 11-08-2006 - 7:59am

My dd(15) didn't go to school because she didn't feel well. No fever, just doesn't feel well. I have had a long standing rule that if you don't go to school, no phone, no computer, no friends and you must stay home unless going to the dr. You may watch tv, read and relax. Is that too harsh now that she's getting older? She's a honor roll student and usually only misses a few days a year. My original theory was it would cut out "mental health" days. Just wondering what every one does.

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Avatar for suzyk2118
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-1997
Wed, 11-08-2006 - 8:01am

Same here - other than we get the school assignments so ds would work on that while home. DS is younger than your dd, but I doubt I'd change these rules as he gets older.

Sue

Avatar for cathiann
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 11-08-2006 - 8:48am
My oldest is only 13, but we have the same rules.
Surviving Middle & High School
Avatar for heartsandroses2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 11-08-2006 - 9:14am

If dd is truly sick, she won't have the energy for phone calls, internet, friends, etc. When she is truly sick she's usually crashed in her room sleeping all day and by late afternoon, early evening, she shows a slight interest in watching some tv and food.

I do allow her to take a 'mental health day' now and again. Unless she's abusing her sick days I see nothing wrong with playing hooky (supervised by me) once in a blue moon. Obviously her grades must be in the good-better range. Once in a great while, we'll play hooky and go shopping and eat lunch out - a girls day!

Ironically, dd19 would die before she would miss a day...just loves to be at school, always has, almost compulsively. H and I would get a real kick out of her standing out at the bustop for 20 minutes before the bus was due. lol. However, dd17 was always a lazy bones in the morning...it was like pulling teeth to get her up. Then she's mozy on down to the kitchen in her jammies and slowly eat some cereal, meanwhile her sister's already at the bustop. Nowadays, dd17 hates missing school and gets up at 5:45AM and leaves by 6:15!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2004
Wed, 11-08-2006 - 9:48am

I need some of that attitude at my house these days!

I'm tired of being the human alarm clock.

It's getting ugly. I constantly hear, "I'm coming..." I'll see her 10 min.'s later.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2004
Wed, 11-08-2006 - 9:49am

I think you are extremely reasonable.

I have trouble with my DD abusing the "I don't feel good" situation to get out of school.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000
Wed, 11-08-2006 - 9:54am
We have/had the same rules for the boys all through high school.
Pam
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2004
Wed, 11-08-2006 - 10:30am
We used to have the same rules too. DH and I felt that if she was too sick for school then she was too sick for anything else but my DD has had some health issues over the past several years so our rules changed because after a while she felt like she was being punished for being truly unhealthy. Not only did her grades go in the tiolet but so did her state of mind and she got very depressed. So we started to let her friends visit for a while and it would really lift up her spirits. DD is a junior now and is still struggling with her health and she went through the whole medical testing process again just last month. She has been dating the same boy for a year now so we took him with us to the hospital when she had to get the tests done and he truly had a calming affect on her. I know our situation is a bit extreme to what you are describing but I think my answer would be that the rules can be adjusted depending on the circumstances.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2006
Wed, 11-08-2006 - 10:42am

Thanks everyone for your replies. I'm with the norm on this board but definitely not around here. Most kids who stay home from school treat it like a weekend day - do whatever it is they want all day (unsupervised).

I can't tell you how much I appreciate every single one of you on this board! I may not post alot but I'm reading and learning so much from all of you!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2006
Wed, 11-08-2006 - 10:49am

I think you make great points and I totally agree. If dd was sick for any length of time we would definitely loosen the reins. I guess that was part of my question - am I punishing dd for being sick?

I hope all turns out well with your dd's health issues.

Avatar for heartsandroses2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 11-08-2006 - 10:55am
I agree, for longterm illnesses, you have to be willing to bend a little in regards to activities and having a friend visit. I hope your dd is doing better. hugs~

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