Parental Control Software

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-1999
Parental Control Software
19
Mon, 11-13-2006 - 10:27am

I am having problems with my 14 year old daughter. She is too obsessed with talking on the computer. Also, her grades have slipped. The computer is in MY BEDROOM. Yes, I moniter her usage when I am home, but many times she is home alone. I drive several soccer carpools for her and her sister and brother. My husband is working a long-term assignment in another state, so I am the single parent for the moment.

Has anyone out there tried any of software programs that are geared to limiting what your child can access or limiting time on computer? Also, has anyone tried a stealth program which enables the parent to moniter what is being said? I am not sure that I want to invade her privacy that way, but I also have a right to know who this kid really is. She is a people pleaser who tends to only show me what she thinks I want to see. I would like to hear from other parents regarding this and their experiences.

She was grounded (from the computer, social stuff, etc...)for the worst report card she has ever had (she has always been a straight A student), and I caught her last night IM-ing her best friend (a boy, who totally disregards any of my rules). I realize she has no self-control or discipline and also that I cannot always be here to enfore the rules. I need to find a software program that can put the brakes on her usage. Any help????

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2003
Mon, 11-13-2006 - 10:44am
Before you invest money in a softwear program, have you tried installing a password on the computer? That way, your daughter couldn't be on when you aren't at home. And you can use computer time as leverage for studying and doing homework.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2006
Mon, 11-13-2006 - 10:50am
You can also just disconnect the keyboard (it's an easy thing to do) and take it with you when you are driving carpool.

 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-1999
Mon, 11-13-2006 - 10:54am
I appreciate your response. It would save me some money. However, the truth is that much of her homework needs to be done on the computer. She has to have access to the computer, even when I am gone. I want her to not have access to IM and My Space when I am not here. I want time limitations on IM-ing. I cannot eliminate all computer usage to only when I am here. When I drive my Tuesday night carpool, she is here for three hours without me to moniter her. During those three hours, she HAS to get homework done and that means accessing the computer.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-1999
Mon, 11-13-2006 - 10:55am
That's pretty funny, and it would work. But, as you can see from my last post, she has to use the computer for homework as well. Thanks for the idea though!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2006
Mon, 11-13-2006 - 11:18am

Are you certain that your DD has 3 hours of 'has to be done on the computer' homework? I have a sophomore DD and she typically gets the majority of her homework done after school at school ... and not in the computer lab, but sitting in a hallway, classroom, picnic table, etc. She is in advanced classes and an AP class and with the exception of 1/2 hour or so of typing when she gets home, most of her work is reading, math homework, review, etc., which do not require a computer to get done. Of course, she gets assigned projects of longer assignments that do require extra computer time, but not on a daily basis.

Just wondering if she isn't pulling the wool over your eyes just a bit.

 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2005
Mon, 11-13-2006 - 11:39am

I use family keylogger. Try this: http://www.downloadjunction.com/product/software/45861/index.html

Hope this helps.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-1999
Mon, 11-13-2006 - 11:40am
Well, my DD is not above pulling the wool over my eyes, and no, not all of her homework has to be done on the computer. She is in three upper level classes and the work load is quite heavy. Many days, she doesn't need the computer at all. However, on the days when she does, as she did last night, typing up an advanced Spanish project and also a dance project too. Sometimes she will have to research something for Pre-AP Biology or Pre-AP English, which requires the computer. It seems that just about every core class and many of her electives require some time on the computer at some point. We live in a high-tech area and even the elementary teachers here sometimes give homework that requires a computer. In the event that it is a night that she needs the computer for homework, if I cut out the computer for the time I am gone, then she will be up late when I get home trying to get the work done. Only her geometry teacher allows her to get homework done in class. Other than that, she does not have any other classes that allow her free time to get any homework done. Her high school is ridiculously difficult. The teachers pride themselves in having a tough curriculum. Many of her peers have tutors and study all weekend. I frequently go to Teacher Web to check each teacher's syllabus and homework links, so I do know that many assignments are computer-based. I wish I could leave her without a computer while I am gone, but that is not the case here. Thanks for your reponse. You are blessed to have a DD that is self-disciplined where the homework is concerned.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 11-13-2006 - 11:45am

What kind of internet connection do you have? We have Comcast Cable, and like most cable internet providers they offer free protection. We get McAfee Security Center for free through them and it offers great parental controls. You can set time limits, block web sites or allow other web sites. Blocks keywords which you can add/delete. You even get a log of websites visited and time spent there. She cannot access any of these controls when you're signed out and she's signed in. I think you can buy it seperately, go to the McAfee web site and you can pay and download it. I think just for the Privacy Service it's $30 a year if you have to pay for it, but it seems to hit all of the issues you want covered. If you have cable or other high speed internet, check with your provider to see if they offer these services for free!

Denise

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-1999
Mon, 11-13-2006 - 1:33pm
Thanks Denise,
I have AOL, which has a thing called AOL Guardian. It documents everything and you can set time limits, etc... However, when I signed up for it she got an email stating that the Guardian was turned on and that her parents would be privy to all communications, etc.. She went nuts, crying saying that was invading her privacy. Well I know very well that I am the parent and can call the shots, but sometimes I feel that if you push too hard it can backfire. So, I cancelled the Guardian. We have Norton Internet Security, which I am sure can block keywords, but I am not sure about limiting time, etc... I will have to check on that. Thanks for your reply.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-1999
Mon, 11-13-2006 - 1:44pm
Does your child know you can read his/her emails? Or have you kept that in confidence. Are you able to set limits on IM capabilities?

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