zerotol, 350 jkt, alc susp
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| Mon, 11-27-2006 - 1:44am |
Thanks to all of you who responded to my posts about a month ago about DS17's pressuring me to allow him to buy a $350 jacket with his hard-earned money after feeling super-down because he'd been suspended from school for having admitted to drinking a few sips of rum before a HS football game. Here's the update....
He got a new jacket, but he settled for a $170 one vs. the $350 one he initially wanted. Still way too much considering the past two winter jackets/coats I bought for myself cost 1) $10 last year; and 2) $10 for the one before that, about 6 yrs ago--both end of season sale items. Of course, right after buying the jacket his IPod broke and he asked for new turf shoes for soccer, and I calmly reminded him that I'd warned him that he'd not be able to get other stuff if he spend all his money on a jacket. Why does this generation always feel entitled to instant gratification?
Because I was worried that introverted, DS17 was severly depressed (suicidal?) about his misdeed and his suspension--couldn't focus on studying, min. contact with friends, bizarre zombie-like spells--he saw the psych two times, and then the psycologist met with us parents. The psycologist said we needed to sit him and ask him what would we could do to make him feel that we trusted him again. When I asked, "What do we say if he says he wants to go to Puerto Vallarta on spring break?", the psych said, "I'd let him go, of course, you have to decide what's right for you." Well, when we went home and asked DS that question, he just said, "I dunno", as I expected. A couple weeks later he brought up spring break, but we still feel he shouldn't be allowed to go, and just dropped it. (He did reimburse us the $400 deposit we lost because he's not going.) His diagnosis was something like, 'adjustment disorder with anxiety/depression'. We feel he's now back to normal, and doing okay, but I'm not sure it's permanent. I do think the psycologist got him to open up, though, and I think DS would call him if he again were to feel that low. I did feel relieved when the psych told us "he is safe".
When we met with the principal he told us that "under the influence" means having any alcohol in one's system. We appealed his supsension with the asst. superintendent who's in charge of policy. The reason we appealed was that DS did not drink on school property; no one actually caught them drinking; the AD had said he looked normal to him that night; it was 4 days later, after a lengthy interrogation, that DS (and four other guys) admiitted to drinking that night; and there was no way they could prove that he had alcohol in his system when he arrived at the football game. Because of all that, according to the school code of conduct, the school was wrong in suspending him as they had no authority over him when he drank at an off-school-property location and they could not prove he had alcohol in his system.
Well, he'd already served his 5-day supsension along with other punishments. Without overtly acknowledging any wrongdoing, they did decide to remove the suspension from his school record and he was accepted into NHS--guess they figured he was honest in admitting to drinking, and they know that at least half the kids in NHS drink on occasion, and DS was just the example kid who happened to get nailed. The asst superintendent also agreed to take our concerns about zero tolerance to the school district's policy committee. (But I'll continue to follow up with the parent groups and all the district's adminstrators and board members to be sure they don't get a watered-down version of the story.)
Maybe they removed the suspension just to placate us. He's our last kid in school and we aren't afraid to talk to the media. If our first, extrovert, DS23 had been through this, we probably wouldn't have done a thing, as he'd likely have gotten over it like the other guys. But the effects of the school's punishments, primarily the 5-day suspension, were so emotionally traumatizing to DS that we saw how wrong a one-size-fits-all punishment is. And that's exactly what zero tolerance is. Doesn't matter what your family life is like, what your emotional state is, how important college or education is to you, what your personality traits are, that it's a first-time offense, how remorseful one is......everybody gets a 10-day suspension for ADMITTING to taking a sip of alcohol, NOT ACTUALLY BEING CAUGHT IN THE ACT, reduced to 5 days if you agree to get a drug test and go to see an addiction counselor for an assessment. (I might add, that assessment was a joke--20 minutes, charged $120, asked DS about his drug, alcohol habits, sexual activity, sharing needles etc.--did nothing to get inside his head to try to help HIM deal with the emotional effects. Therefore, we ended up seeing the other psych.)
Teach your children they have the right to remain silent.
Zero tolerance is so wrong.
There ARE alternatives to suspension and expulsion.
Our students have no legal rights in school.
There's a lot that needs to change and I'll keep fighting for all the children, even though mine are almost out of HS. I hope all of you will, too.
http://www.safety1st.org/pdf/Beyond_Zero_Tolerance.pdf
"Schools should implement a policy of restorative practices in lieu of expulsion and suspension."
http://www.safety1st.org/pdf/findings_and_recommendations.pdf
"Honesty, respect and assistence when needed."
http://www.katyzerotolerance.com/webedition2/Stories/intolerance2.html
"What you would expect from a school with no compassion! "
http://www.katyzerotolerance.com/webedition2/ourstories.html
Read more stories.
http://www.safehealthyschools.org/whatsnew/capzerotolerance.htm
"Prepared for the Canadian Association of Principals" comprehensive, well-written
http://www.garlikov.com/philosophy/expulsion.htm
"There are some behaviors that do justify removal of a student from a classroom or school."
"And it is also wrong to suspend or expel students from school for legal violations that have nothing to do with the educational process."
http://www2.potsdam.edu/hansondj/ZeroTolerance.html
Alcohol
http://www.advancementproject.org//reports/FINALEOLrep.pdf
2004
http://www.advancementproject.org/opsusp.pdf
"Zero tolerance.....brutally strict disciplinary model that embraces harsh punishment over education."
http://www.civilrightsproject.harvard.edu/research/discipline/opport_suspended.php
"The report illustrates that Zero Tolerance is unfair, is contrary to the developmental needs of children, denies children educational opportunities, and often results in the criminalization of children."
http://www.buildingblocksforyouth.org/kentucky/kentucky.pdf
Recommendations for action begin on page 27.
http://baltimorechronicle.com/051104SchoolDiscipline.shtml
"Alternatives to zero tolerance policies." Speaker is editor of book in next link.
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/customer-reviews/1565846664/ref=cm_cr_dp_pt/104-2936800-5616756?ie=UTF8&n=283155&s=books
Zero Tolerance: Resisting the Drive for Punishment
http://www.edlawcenter.org/ELCPublic/Publications/PDF/Survey_ZeroTolerance.pdf
NASP critical of zero tolerance.
http://aappolicy.aappublications.org/cgi/content/full/pediatrics;112/5/1206?fulltext=expulsion&searchid=QID_NOT_SET
PEDIATRICS Vol. 112 No. 5 November 2003, pp. 1206-1209
"Despite widespread public support for schools’ zero tolerance disciplinary policies, the American Bar Association (ABA) voted in 2001 to recommend ending them."
"Out-of-school placement for suspension or expulsion should be limited to the most egregious circumstances."
http://www.bazelon.org/issues/children/publications/suspending/suspendingdisbelief.pdf
Suspension and expulsion are unsupported by research.
http://www.myshortpencil.com/schooltalk/cgi-bin/show.cgi?tpc=2&post=8940
"Every criminal code in the country has a general provision that essentially states, "The purpose of these laws shall be to achieve justice. These laws shall be interpreted to achieve the ends of justice."
http://ztnightmares.com/cgi-bin/accept/display.cgi?ZT71+ads
"Administrators should be allowed to judge, and weigh each situation individually."
http://www.soros.org/initiatives/baltimore/events/zero_20040512/
http://www.ztnightmares.com/html/links.htm
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/chronicle/archive/2001/09/10/ED160967.DTL
http://www.pccy.org/Newsletters/March2004-Childwatch.pdf
http://www.crossmyt.com/hc/zerotol/zero-tol.html
http://www.usatoday.com/educate/ednews3.htm
http://www-rohan.sdsu.edu/~rgibson/rouge_forum/newspaper/summer2002/TakePrisoners.htm
http://www.zerointelligence.net/archives/000652.php
http://www.alternet.org/story/11202/
http://www.finalcall.com/perspectives/polls/poll_zero-tol11-23-99.htm

I am so glad your son is feeling better and things have been resolved somewhat(suspension off his record, NHS reinstatement, etc)
When DS2 was involved with pot, I felt I couldnt speak to anyone at the school. I was concerned his counselour would pass the info on and his locker or car would be searched, pot would be found, and the police would come in. That wasnt the kind of help I was looking for!
Realistically, our workplaces are set up to help adults when they have problems yet our schools are set up only to punish and eliminate
It is sad-writing off the young while giving older folks second chances
My MIL lives near Knightstown, IN where 4 high school sophomores were expelled for filming an animated movie about evil teddy bears. MIL is 92 and I thought she was loosing it but this is for real
http://www.indystar.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20061125/LOCAL/611250454
Two are suing for reinstatement. Movie was made off school grounds. The evil teddies apparently order an attack on someone who has the same last name as a 7th gr teacher in the district.
I think you're right; parents need to start questionning some of the judgements being made instead of assuming the schools are always right
These boys did a stupid thing and should be punished but expelled in 10th grade????
I'd also be launching an investigation into any teacher who brings up that much anger three years after his class is over, KWIM?
The fact that the county prosecutor found the film to be nonthreatening is key. Despite that, the principal still pushed to expel the students. Under zero tolerance, our students have no legal rights.
I know of a 7th grader, very intelligent but dyslexic, reading at a 3rd grade level. He's been bullied for several years. His mom told me how he was suspended after finally deciding to fight back for once, to defend himself. It didn't matter that he'd been bullied, is LD or anyting else. He was a participant in the fight and he was suspended, even though he was not the instigator.
There's something very wrong with egotistical administrators treating our kids like criminals. If they'd treat them with compassion and respect, the kids would tell them about any impending dangers and our schools would be safer. I'm beginning to think that it is the zero tolerance policies that are increasing school violence, AND violence in our communities, as these embittered kids get dumped on our streets.
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http://www.pnhp.org/news/2009/october/meet_the_new_health_.php
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DQTBYQlQ7yM