PROM DRESSES & SEVEN DEADLY SINS

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2006
PROM DRESSES & SEVEN DEADLY SINS
7
Mon, 04-16-2007 - 7:16pm

One may consider that a ludicrous title for a post, but I have my reasons, stay with me. DD and I ventured four hours to coastal North Carolina in search of the much coveted prom dress that is like no other. For those with teenage daughters that have yet to endure this past-time, I warn you it is not for the faint of heart. Be certain to review your Seven Deadly Sins before embarking on your trip. For your reference, I submit the following:

SLOTH: Two weeks before prom DD advises that she has finally decided, she will definitely attend the gala.

PRIDE: The feeling of arrogance you will have when she slides in to the two hundredth dress that makes her look like a princess.

ENVY: Refer to pride with a twist. You have long since passed the size the light of your life just effortlessly zipped up.

GREED: Observations made of other teenagers in the dressing room who do not even blink when their mothers inform them the dress they have fell in love with is a mere $856.

LUST: Why you must explain to DD that it may be a bit inappropriate to show up to prom with a dress laced up to your pelvic bone.

WRATH: What the shop attendant encounters from ME when she says “if you ask my opinion, the halter dress with laces is entirely age appropriate”. She went on to include that DD would most definitely be able to shake her hooters and bounce the junk in her trunk! Note: I respond “do you have children”? No, enough said.

GLUTTONY: Remind DD when she wants that 1/2lb of fudge that perhaps she might choose the frozen yogurt. In a totally loving way, you highlight that currently she must exhale all the breath from her body in order to continue to fit in to the form fitting sequin gown that you just purchased.

PS...I just read a post on who pays from prom? We bought the dress ($99), she pays for the incidentals (bringing the total to $131). Since she is attending with a male friend not a BF, DD did offer to buy her own ticket but the friend declined. DD does have a job so I would expect that offers a different view for many in other situations. But, oh I have many ways teens can earn money without regular jobs..floors need mopping, cars washing, etc.

OMG, what is up with the $1200 - $2000 for prom? Are you kidding me? For Prom? As for the few days at a cottage....THESE KIDS ARE IN HIGH SCHOOL! Everyone save a seat for me on the old fashioned couch.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2007
Tue, 04-17-2007 - 12:56am

AMEN !

I'm in between dd's going to prom whew, but my oh my it's nuts, we met our working dd 1/2 way on the dress this brought her down to reality and the 400.00 dress didn't look much better than 150.00 one when she was paying, I paid for her hair, her the accessories
and her bf the tickets and flowers, and us moms split the photo costs.

The first year to save them money, she (and I) made a nice dinner for the two of them and they had it by candle light alone and all dressed up, in our dinning room, I served them then left, after getting photos.

Old fashioned is next to Sensible!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2006
Tue, 04-17-2007 - 6:06am
Love it! We've still got some time before Prom (DD's only a sophomore), but these stories are being stored away to remember when I need them!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Tue, 04-17-2007 - 9:56am
My Dd has bought a beautiful prom dress (of course she is still working on the date, but important things first, when she does get that date, she will be gorgeous). It cost way more than I would pay ($240) so I'll pay for about 1/2 of it. I know she had a hard time since I have to say that most of the dresses I saw were really ugly. They have these big skirts w/ big petticoats under them like Gone w/ the Wind, bright colors and spangles like Vegas show girls. The one she got has no big skirt, no spangles, very plain. It's light green with just some gathering at the bodice. Of course she showed it to her dad, who cringes every time he thinks of her looking like a grown woman. She said he would think a potato sack would be too sexy. At least w/ this gown & the one she got for her jr. prom, she can save and wear in case they have dances in college because they are sophisticated styles.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2005
Tue, 04-17-2007 - 11:20am

My youngest is in her first year of college this year. This is the first year in 8 years that I have not shopped with one of them for a formal dress. I kind of tear up when I drive by the dresses with the formals in the window. I remember spending 10 mintues trying to get my DD out of a size 2 dress (she's a 6 and didn't look at the size until it was stuck). We still laugh about that one.

On the upside, at Christmas, I took two girls from church shopping for the Christmas formal dresses. We take the youth out of town shopping every year at Christmas and their moms just gave them the money and said if Ms. Lia says its okay, then its okay. The girls didn't even seriously try on anything inappropriate so luckily I didn't have to say no. We had a blast and i can't imagine their moms not wanting to go with them. I know they need to share those moments with their own moms but a part of me selfishly hopes that the moms are a little busy next year too!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Wed, 04-18-2007 - 7:53am

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This makes me smile - it's exactly what is going on at our house these days! N's prom dress is pretty modest by today's standards, cute knee length strapless that fully covers her from armpits to knees, but skims her body in a way that is very, very flattering. Her b/f saw it a few weeks ago when she had it on so I could make alterations on it, he about lost his eyeballs!! Told his mom that she looked "better than HOT!" Daddy on the other hand said, with a very restrained voice "did you HAVE to get her something that shows off everything she's got???" Honestly, other than being strapless, this dress couldn't be more modest, no cleavage, no plunging back, and her knees are almost covered. Good thing daddy missed the b/f's reaction!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2000
Thu, 04-19-2007 - 10:48am

Thank you so much for posting this. I am not alone!!!! I cannot believe the amount of money spent on a high school dance. Although, we are (I mean I am) always looking for a dress after the season or very early, DD must wait until just a week before the event to shop for the perfect dress. Of course it can't look like something Cinderella might wear, it's gotta be straight out of a latin-dance contest.

As far as paying for this gala event, I give her $100. If she wants to spend more, it's on her. She has to decide how much of her hard-earned money she will spend for a 3-hour twirl in a dimly-lit high school commons.

DD is a junior, and this is her second prom. Last year, she spent almost $100 of her own money (in addition to my $100) and bought her dress a mere 4 days before the dance. This year, she has a different approach to purchasing the dress. We have a local dress-maker, who is very reasonable and can make any dress from any designer magazine. Did I say she is reasonable? Of course, the dress will be one-of-a-kind, and I expect it to cost about $100. My only requirement will be that it must stay up on its own!!! I hate watching girls holding up those strapless dresses, or worse yet, see them fall down. DD is chosing a color and style that will look nice with shoes and accessories she already owns to save her even more money.

DD will look very pretty and bring her own sense of style to the party. I also hope she is learning valuable lessons from these experiences. I hope she is learning about time-management, money-management, living within her means, and realistically prioritizing her needs vs her wants. These kids all want to fit in, but common sense has to prevail over the insanity of it all.

Thanks again for posting this. I'll join you on the old fashioned couch as soon as I'm off my psychiatrist couch.

Julie

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-30-2007
Mon, 04-30-2007 - 11:27am

Hi,

Saturday DD1 and a friend went to the city (Bridal shop) to look at prom dresses for the friend. DD1 was "not going to the prom" when she left the house. Later she called and said she was trying on dresses and wanted to know if she could put one on the credit card. I asked her about the dresses and the ones she was looking at were under $100. I asked her to call me when she found "the dress", and to also consider looking at other stores. 5 hrs later she comes home with a dress that cost $180. The prom tickets cost $30. DH and I blew a cork and said no to the dress because of the cost. She says she'll pay us back for the dress and then sell it on ebay. We feel this is too much money for a 1 evening/3hr event with no date. She'd be going w/her friend who has a boyfriend that she'll meet there. We made her take the dress back yesterday and told her that when she can pay for the dress she can buy it. Credit cards are there for emergencies, but in order to build a good credit rating, she has to be more responsible with her monies.

Background....DD 1 is17, has a horse boarded at the local stable. She's held a part-time job for the last 18 mos. and pays for the board herself. In addition to her part-time job, she works at the barn to help pay off the board fees. She's held her driver's license for almost 20 months now and is a very safe driver. We got her an older compact car last week that is economical on gas. We've paid for car, insurance, and gas. She also has a cell phone that she pays for. We pay for horse's vet, feet, show entry fees, etc. She hasn't asked me for spending money for over a year and normally she's a very savvy clothes shopper. However, her spending money goes the way of the wind. She does not participate in school sports (shows horses year-round), went to 1 dance her freshman year.

In addition, she's been irresponsible with her pay checks and ended up bouncing a check to her stable owner for this month's board. She's got bank fees for her boss and herself now and NO MONEY.

I feel bad for her and we haven't said she can't go to the prom, she's just not going in an expensive dress like that. ($1200, that for a wedding dress in my books, not a prom dress)

DH and I are very frugal and comparison shop everything. Am I off base here having a hissy about the cost of the dress?

Old Fashioned Mom