Changing a teens diet.......

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2006
Changing a teens diet.......
9
Mon, 04-23-2007 - 3:48pm
For those of you with a teenage DD, I need some advise. Last summer DD was a bit overweight. When she was at her Dads over the summer she started the very low carb diet. She lost tons of weight and looked awesome. She was eating normal portions and running. Well, she thinks the weight loss is because she's not eating carbs. As the year has gone by she's stopped running (due to cold weather outside) and she's started eating more and more food, still very low carbs only. She eats tons of cheese, and meat, but she eats salad with low carb dressing every day, lunchmeat, fish, and apples and strawberries too. She's been putting on the pounds again, even though she still looks good. So this tells me that it wasn't the no carbs, it was the running and eating normal portions. I never worried that she had an eating disorder because she's getting some carbs from salad, broccoli, and fruit. Here's the problem, meat and cheese are expensive, not to mention can't be good for your cholesterol when you eat that much. If I fix 6 chicken breasts and I eat one, DH (a 6ft 4 man) eats two, then DD should have 1 and side dishes. Nope the side dishes have carbs so she won't touch them. She will however eat 3 pieces of chicken. That stuff is really expensive. DH and I talked and we'd like to eat only the good stuff too, and skip the baked potato, and veggie but that's unrealistic and we can't afford it. I bought a package of that spicy hot cheese the other day. She got in the fridge while i was gone and ate it all. I'm tired of it. I need to put my foot down, and tell her that this behavior will no longer be tolerated. I know at first she'd just go hungry and complain when I give her one portion of meat at supper and tell her that's all, rather than letting her eat enough meat for 3 people. I don't want to make her so mad that she quits eating and gets a serious eating disorder. You know how teens can be, very emotional, and moody. I also want her to see that her diet isn't working, since her behind is getting quite a bit wider than it was, but yet I don't want to hurt her self esteem either. My Mom told me today that sometimes after school my DD will get a can of soup, eat the little bit of meat out of it, then throw the rest away. I didn't know this. That is wasteful, and rude. How would most of you go about changing this behavior? Would you just give her the portion of meat at supper and tell her that is all, and if she's still hungry she'll need to eat more salad, or a veggie and potato. I don't want her to feel that I am intentionally sabotaging her. Or would you sit her down and say "look, I can't afford your diet so either you'll need to rethink it, or you might go hungry at times"? I look at all those teen movie stars with disorders too and I don't want to be the one responsible for turning her to that sort of behavior. This is a small town of about 100, so there are no dieticians, nutritionists, or anything of the sort here so that isn't an option. (not even a regular Dr for miles) So, I'd like advise as to how you'd go about making diet changes in a teen, who will be very oppossed to them? Thanks, Lisa
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000
Mon, 04-23-2007 - 5:53pm
Whatever you do do NOT tell her bottom is getting wide or that you've noticed that she's putting on pounds again.
Pam
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 04-23-2007 - 6:23pm

Well, the chicken breast thing is easy-just make four and be sure DH gets his 2 first(or make 3 and let him have one and fill up on sides-he doesnt 'need' two)

I would think she will eventually catch on to the weight gain-clothing will stop fitting at some point. I see no reason to point it out to her so I, personally, would find subtle ways to avoid the problem

Make it clear to all that you will put pink sticky notes on items you need for recipes, for example and then buy her cheap cheese or peanuts. Yes, I know you think she is going about this the wrong way but Id let her make the discovery and focus on keeping the budget within reason

A lot of people have had success with that diet plan. DH and I tried for awhile but it didnt help me; he lost quite a bit however. He WAS a big bread eater-would just walk in the kitchen and eat slices and slices. So, sure, cutting that out helped. Me? Im an equal opportunity over eater so it didnt matter ;)

It WAS expensive, however. I sympathize

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2005
Mon, 04-23-2007 - 6:36pm

DH and I are on South Beach right now and it's too expensive so you might try getting her the book to read or showing her the Web site. But I think i would stick with Pam's suggestion about making the trips to get her to a nutritionist. This is the age that eating disorders usually appear and an incorrect approach could lead to an even bigger problem. I would approach it from the standpoint of honey, I'm so glad that you are committed to maintaining a healthy weight but I worry about your cholesterol levels and what this high protein diet could do to your heart overtime. I know I'm being a worry-wart but I need you to humor me on this one and see a nutritionist who can help you to do this in a way that satifies both our concerns. I wouldn't mention the expense of the food b/c a nutritionist will not be cheap either and my DD would throw that back in my face (however, it would be cheaper than a lifetime of heart problems). I wouldn't mention that she's putting the weight on. If she balks too much, then start exercising wtih her to help her keep the weight off. Nothing like a good power walk to create a little bonding time.

Good Luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2010
Mon, 04-23-2007 - 7:38pm

Honestly, she needs to eat carbohydrates. 60% of her diet should be from good carbohydrates like whole grains and natural sugars. Losing weight by not eating carbohydrates is actually a very bad idea.

I would suggest she eat a balanced diet by following the updated food pyramid. Make her aware of how much a portion size is and how many calories and grams of fat she is eating. Eating a lot of cheese makes calories and fat add up quickly.

Eating less and moving more is really the only good healthy way to lose and maintain weight.

In reality, no one should ever "diet" but maintain a healthy life style of eating and movement. A diet will lose you weight but in most cases not train you to eat for the rest of your life to stay healthy.

I would suggest a nutritionist or take a nutrition class.




Edited 4/23/2007 7:40 pm ET by seirith
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2006
Tue, 04-24-2007 - 7:53am

Seems like you have several issues mixed together - and talking to your DD may be easier if you separate them out.

1) Family finances/budget - you don't need to share specifics with your DD, but I think teens are old enough to understand what the relative cost is of things in our budgets - and how we as a family prioritize things. We talk about "can't afford" and "could afford but choose not to right now" with our DD - how else can she develop a reasonable sense of money and making informed choices. This is true whatever your income level is.

2) Nutrition/portion control - I agree that talking to a nutritionist would be helpful. My DD also found the WeightWatchers program helpful - it focuses on portion control and gives her a feeling of control without being controlling.

3) Family food issues - seeing chicken as "the good stuff" and everything else as extra - we have 1-2 meals a week that are mostly vegetarian - even my meat-loving husband! If you say "I'd love more chicken too" then you are just reinforcing her bias for chicken over other foods

4) Family relationship issues - the difference in eating and exercise between your house and her dad's

Talking to your DD as an (almost) adult, in a reasonable way, about these issues will get you further than fighting about one versus three chicken breasts

Sue

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2006
Tue, 04-24-2007 - 9:29am
Thanks for the suggestions. I do appreciate them. I wish a nutritionist was an option, however it's just not. At the moment she's seeing a specialist for her jaw which is 3 hours away and I can't take off more days of work for a nutritionist, and can't afford it. You posts did give me an idea however. Someone said take a nutrition class. I may check with one of the teachers at the high school and see if they might come up with something. I also may be able to get her into a nutrtion or cooking type class at the college. It's just 20 miles away. The reason I haven't worried about her having an eating disorder now is because she actually does get quite a few carbs in her salads, and fruit. It's just that she's convinced herself that she's going carb free, and chooses to eat more of the better tasting, higher fat, more expensive foods. That's why I was wondering if most of you would just put your foot down and say "enough", or try more subtle changes. She is going to be a lifeguard this year and her test is coming up so I'm going to suggest that she needs to get running again (she used to be an avid runner) to get in shape for it. DH and I feel like she's almost 16 so she needs to be making her own dinner plates, etc. We decided for a while that I will make her salads for her. I use probably 1/3 of the cheese, and put her cut of meat on her plate for her last night. That seemed to help as she ate it and didn't say one word. The sticky note idea is good. That will keep her from getting into the food that I've designated for lunches. It's finally getting warmer in the evenings and staying lighter longer, so maybe I can encourage her to get out and start running again, with me or the dog. Thanks for all the suggestions.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2010
Tue, 04-24-2007 - 11:18am

I think the college class idea would be a good one. My favorite class in college was nutrition. I learned SO much it was amazing and the class was really fun too.

I also took a cooking class in high school and learned a lot. We had nutrition lessons along with cooking ones. We even had to make our favorite food as we would normally eat it and figure out how many calories, fat, sugar, and salt it had in it.

Avatar for suzyk2118
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-1997
Tue, 04-24-2007 - 3:59pm

DS is taking a creative cooking class right now in HS - he said it's funny - they spent the one period last week talking about nutrition while they were baking a cake (they had a decorating competition)! LOL

Sue

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2006
Tue, 04-24-2007 - 4:45pm

yummm, now the cake sounds pretty good to me (lol), and a decorating competition sounds fun. I will give DD one credit, even though she is eating up all the expensive food in the house, she will not touch sugar. Her dessert is generally sugar free jello. Now I know I'm supposed to be a good influence but I will not give up ice cream, she'll just have to suffer as I eat it. LOL I did give up sugar in my coffee due to her influence though.