UGH!!!!!!!!
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UGH!!!!!!!!
| Fri, 04-27-2007 - 5:08pm |
UGH!!!!!!!! and so i find out today that the by went up to her and said your f'n mother owes me an apology. and what does my daughter do. she turns on me. her friends at the lunch table turned on her and said "don't you ever turn on your mother like that" imagine th pull this boy has on her. meanwhile he is calling everywhere. i changed her cell number told her she was not to give it to him. if she does she is losing her phone. the mistake i made was i gave her ultimatums. i told her she was to have no contact with him. she said why mom he is not my boyfriend anymore. i want him to just be in my life. i said to her why would you want a boy in your life that talks down to you. i told her i was driving her to school because he is on her bus. that blew up on my face she said no i am not. the more i told her she couldn't do anything the more adamant she got. she admits he is bad for her. she admits he brings her down. i told her all her friends don't like what he does. i told her she is going to lose her friends over this. what do i do now. let her see for herself and ride it out. i want to call the police and tell them to talk to the boy and his mother about calling her all over the county. he finds her wherever she is. she is spending the weekend with her friend and i had to tell her she is to have no contact with him. i am afraid for when she comes home. she is manipulating me by wanting to stay at her friends house the weekend. But if i let her come home there is only her and i here. the boy is 1 minute up the road. that will be like a volcano erupting. does nayone agree with me. if she is with her friends then she is away from him and right now i am still the enemy i think. she hangs up with me. says she loves me and all but she is probably just pacifying me. i dont know.

Is she really staying at her friend's house? Will you have contact with her while she's there? Can you go on line and view her incoming and outgoing calls on her cell to check up? If you want to get a protective order against him on YOUR behalf, you can. But unless she is willing to, they will not try and get one for her. I started the process of having a restraining order placed against this thug who called my house for my dd (she claims it was unwanted attention, but I later found evidence that she invited his calls) and the police spelled it out for me very clearly: It is my house, my phone and if I don't want him calling my house, then plain and simple he's not allowed to. Is that cell phone of dd's in your name? Same goes for that. My dd doesn't have a cell anymore because she can't be trusted and if push comes to shove, I can usually get her through a friend.
I just wonder what is so bad about being home together for the weekend? Why not make plans and go out shopping or to a movie - keep yourselves busy, have her invite a friend to YOUR house. I personally wouldn't let my dd out of my sight if she was behaving this way. It sounds to me like she's blowing smoke up your butt when she says she's not interested in him as a BF. He may be intimidating her into telling you that but really he still has a hold on her. It also sounds like you need some support - perhaps a counselor to help you find better strategies to reach your dd and help her understand your concerns about this boy. If this is the kind of guy she is drawn to, then he is just one in a long line to come. You have to wonder why, don't you? Counseling for you, counseling for her...but I'd say you go first so you can garner some support for yourself.
Best of luck and many gentle hugs - it isn't easy, is it?
Hi Harleypo,
I don't know if you remember me... it was on another board awhile back.
Anyway, I just wanted to say hi and that I wish the best for you and your DD. Good luck and hang in there.
zz