Curfews

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Curfews
7
Mon, 04-30-2007 - 8:58am

Hi everyone. My dd is 16 (sophmore in HS) and her curfew is currently 11:00 p.m. on the weekends especially if we are doing pickup since any later than that and we're falling asleep. LOL

Anyway, I was just wondering what curfew you have for your kids that are the same age. Now that my dd is dating and the young man drives, I'm really not sure weather to give her a little bit of a later curfew (11:30 or so). My dd just got her license so we aren't allowing her to drive late at night yet so that's not a issue right now.

My dd isn't begging for a later time or anything but just wondering what curfews other 16 year olds have.

Thanks.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-29-2003
In reply to: nikimom2
Mon, 04-30-2007 - 10:22am

I have a 16 yr old DS that has an 11:00 curfew as well. He fights it tooth and nail, but we've held FIRM. He never came home on time (nothing serious.....3-20 min late EVERY time...) so we've told him NO increase in curfew til he can prove himself. He did REALLY well through the winter months---and I broached the subject of increasing it to my DH who said 'no way'. Sure enough, a few weekends ago, late again.

Now, you are asking, why do we 'allow' him to be late....well.....the few minutes he's late hasn't been huge AND it's a pick your battles type of thing......we've chosen not to fight over the up to 20 min he's late, BUT we refuse to back down over his curfew time.....and as you all well know, sometimes it is very hard to control what is 'allowed'. I mean, we can preach and preach and preach and ground and ground and without us accompanying him on his outings, we can't see to it that he arrives home on time. So, we do lecure and we do tell him he's making it harder for himself, BUT we refuse (so far) to change the curfew....

Besides, as we all know, not much good happens late at night, so 11:00 is not unreasonable in my opinion (isn't it AMAZING how our feelings about such things change as we get 'old'?). He disagrees, as I'm sure your DD will too, but you do what is best for YOUR dd and family, and stick to it........

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: nikimom2
Mon, 04-30-2007 - 10:47am

What is the curfew in your area legally?

This is from our police departments page

"For ages 13 and under, the curfew is 10:30 p.m. to 6:00 a.m. For ages 14-16 (inclusive), the curfew is 11:00 p.m. - 6:00 a.m., Sunday through Thursday (inclusive) and 12:01 a.m. - 6:00 a.m. Friday and Saturday."

I think it's a decent guideline. We had midnight when the boys were 16(not sure Id go with it for 14 as stated....but they never asked except for maybe a special movie premier)

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
In reply to: nikimom2
Mon, 04-30-2007 - 12:30pm

In our state (MA) drivers under 18 aren't allowed to drive past midnight, so that was an automatic curfew for weekends (I wouldn't let her stay out that late on a school night, mostly there wasn't much going out unless there was a basketball game or something like that at school). I just pointed out to DD that now that she's 18 and I haven't really imposed a new curfew on her, she doesn't feel the need even to stay out until midnight all the time any more.

I guess it would depend on what they were doing too. If they were going to a movie and it started at 9:00, that would be ok, but I pointed out that if the movie started closer to 10:00, she wouldn't have much time to spare to get home on time. The usual movie theater they go to is only about 15 mins. from home, but add some time if you have to drive someone else home. But if they were going to a dance, I would expect it to be later.

Avatar for mjaye2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: nikimom2
Mon, 04-30-2007 - 1:01pm
Yea for town curfews! I too let the town pretty much determine the curfew for my kids. Officially, it's 11:00 Sun thru Thurs and midnight Fri & Sat. I do ask that my ds15 be home by 10:00 on a school night as a general rule, but on special occasions I allow the 11:00 (school functions, team projects to finish, etc.)
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
In reply to: nikimom2
Mon, 04-30-2007 - 1:28pm
While in hs, my kids have all had a 10 p.m. curfew during the week, midnight on Friday and Saturday, and have handled it fairly well most of the time. We're pretty flexible over 15 minutes or so, but no more.
Rose
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
In reply to: nikimom2
Mon, 04-30-2007 - 6:05pm
You know, I'm not really sure what the curfew is for our area. We live in CT and I know that for teens under the age of 18 who are driving, the curfew is to be off the road by 12:00 a.m. Would that be the only legal curfew time? Just curious. I do agree with you completely that nothing good happens after midnight (even though I would have never agreed with that thought when I was younger :-)
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
In reply to: nikimom2
Tue, 05-01-2007 - 10:28am
I do have to say that when I was a teenager, my parents were pretty strict about curfews and it seemed that none of my good friends have them (this was way back in the late 70's). My parents used to use that "nothing good happens late at night" reason too, but realistically, I thought (and still do), if you are going to do something wrong, you can certainly do it earlier in the night and if you are the kind of person who is not going to do anything wrong (like I was) it won't matter if you stay out late or not. Back then, the legal drinking age was 18, so that really wasn't an issue. The main reason I don't want DD to stay out too late is that I'm more worried about other drivers on the road. The usual closing time for bars is about 1:00 a.m. so the closer you get to that time, the more chance there is for drunk drivers. Plus I think about safety of a young girl driving alone late at night. A lot of times, she's just hanging out at her friends' houses who live w/in 1 or 2 miles of our house, so that's not too bad.