Excessive Telephone Use

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-25-2007
Excessive Telephone Use
7
Tue, 05-01-2007 - 9:10am

What are the rules in your house regarding phone usage? Do you have a phone curfew? A time of night when no more calls are allowed? Do you put limits on how long your teen stays on the phone?

DD14, would be on the phone 24/7 if allowed. It's amazing the multitasking she can do with a phone glued to her ear.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Tue, 05-01-2007 - 10:08am

Do you know the one who is on the phone the most in my house is my 11 yo son? He is constantly talking to his "girlfriend" and her friend and sometimes both of them together since they can do 3-way calling. Yesterday they had no school and he was over his friend Alyssa's house (w/ the girlfriend Ashley) all day. When I came home from work, he had just gotten dropped off and he was on the phone w/ Alyssa again! I told him he hardly ever talks to me now. I know he has to do something to keep busy after school, but when I am home, it would be nice if he would talk to me. And when he's not on the phone, he's IMing. I don't know how to restrict his phone use. It seems like why should I just make up an arbitrary number? He just got his report card, which was all A's, so it's obviously not interfering w/ his homework but I don't want him to make a pest of himself w/ these girls' parents either.

W/ my DSD, her problem was and still is, going on the phone late at night when she's supposed to be in bed. Her dad wants her to be in bed by 11:00 (which means sleeping) and he has caught her many times on the phone after that. I have checked her cell phone bill and she has been on the phone until as late as 3:00 a.m. on a school night. He has gone through more than one period of taking away her phone. I would have her leave it downstairs every night since she obviously can't be trusted.

I would say definitely put a time limit as far as no phone calls after a certain time but as far as how many hours on the phone? Is is interfering w/ the homework or chores that have to be done? If not, I figure DS would otherwise be watching TV or doing something else to waste time, so it's not like TV is any better than being on the phone. I still can't decide. (And it's not as if he doesn't read either--he probably reads more than any kid in his class, big books like Harry Potter and even some mystery type books that are not written for kids, but are probably 500 pages long.)

Avatar for heartsandroses2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-01-2007 - 12:31pm

No phone calls in or out past 10PM. The only exception to this rule was last year when dd19 and her BF were breaking up. I let her talk on the phone when he called crying at 11PM. lol.

DD17 needs limits and it's 2 hours per day. She doesn't usually use near that much, but there have been times when I'm tapping my toe and annoyed...I often will pick up an extension and say "okay, time to say goodbye now" and then keep at it every few minutes till she hangs up. If she goes well over her daily time limit, she loses the phone altogether the following day.

I really hate the shrill of the phone when I'm getting sleepy or settling into my favorite program!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2003
Tue, 05-01-2007 - 1:08pm

My 11 yo son is the excessive phone user in my house as well!!! My 15 yo dd instead chooses to spend all her time on MSN Messenger or Facebook where she and her friends can spend hours "talking" vs using the phone. My dd has never been a big phone user.

I don't have a time limit on the phone for my son because, right now, we have two phone lines in the house and he uses the secondary line which has voice mail on it if anyone needs to get me any info. Our primary line is off limits to him and his sister because I can't handle having the phone tied up so long. I put in the second line years ago so I can dial in to my office when I took my laptop home. Now with cable high speed internet I don't need it anymore but I still kept the line for my kids to use with their friends.

I do not want either of them on the phone past 10PM. My son can spend an hour on the phone easily with his friends as they talk about their video games, their school gossip, tv etc etc. He doesn't even have a girlfriend yet, OMG....I can't imagine what that will be like! Unless he migrates to using the computer as well.

Avatar for mjaye2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-01-2007 - 1:19pm

The only one I have ever had is no calls in or out after 10:00pm. I've never really had to set a lot of rules for phone usage at my house. Neither of my boys are real big phone-talkers. But it was those little girls calling the house at all hours to speak to my sons that always had me up-in-arms! LOL I'm not a happy person when awakened in the middle of the night with a phone call and if the id shows "private" I REALLY get unhappy. There have been plenty little girls around that have gotten an earful after calling and waking me up. With the older, it got to the point to where I threatened HIM with grounding if he couldn't keep his little girl friends from calling. I guess he finally got thru to them, because I never had to resort to that. :)

Now, for good or bad, since the boys have gotten their cell phones, we rarely get *any* calls at the house. But, since ds15 still doesn't care to talk on the phone forever, I've not had to limit him. Once he gets a real girlfriend tho', I imagine all bets will be off...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-25-2007
Tue, 05-01-2007 - 2:10pm

Thanks for the replies! Right now our rules are no calls after 9pm; we all go to bed at 10pm (ish). And duration of calls to be no more than 30 minutes (ish). We have the one phone line in the house. It does have call waiting and DD is good about not ignoring those calls. But I have found some phones do not "trip" the call waiting feature, so some calls are missed. I'm self employed and work at home, so M-F the phone is off limits to her until after 5pm. This usually isn't a problem because she doesn't get home from school until around 4pm. The adults in the house have cell phones, DD does not. I let her borrow mine sometimes for after-school activities. I know she would love a cell phone, but right now I don't see the need for her to one. Maybe when she starts driving. We have a VOIP phone and one feature about it I LOVE is the ability to go on-line and check in-coming and out-going calls. It gives the number calling from and to, duration of the call and the time it was made. LOL. DD hates this. I'll say, you've been on the phone too long, please end your call. She'll make a comment, no I haven't we've only been talking a minute! So all I have to say is, well, that's easy enough to check. . . . :)

The weekends are a little more relaxed. If I'm running errands or out of the house, I don't care if she's on the phone. As long as her chores are done.

I think the rules work ok. Not sure how it will be this summer trying to keep her off the phone during the day while I'm working. I can foresee some battles coming up. I better check my cell phone plan and sure I have plenty of minutes!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2006
Tue, 05-01-2007 - 2:32pm

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That seems to be the ONLY time our phone rings! I could be home all day long and the phone will most likely not ring. But once I pop in a movie (not much of a tv person) the phone is guaranteed to ring multiple times!

 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2007
Tue, 05-01-2007 - 2:54pm
luckily my DS (14) does not use the phone allot. (if he really wants to, he will usually use his cell) but the cut off time is 9pm on week nights (even if there is no school next day (summer holidays etc..) because DH and I STILL have to get up for work. On weekends it's 10pm.