Feeling sad

Avatar for suzyk2118
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-1997
Feeling sad
7
Thu, 05-03-2007 - 9:41am

DS14 is a young freshman. He used to get an occasional B in middle school. Right now he has 2Ds, 4Cs and an A (cooking). It ends up his geometry teacher has truly destroyed him this year - he's very sensitive and she constantly picks on him (he said others would attest to this), grades him low on tests and homework (he even has one assignment that shows 5/5 but on the online book she made it 4/5) and just thinks he doesn't get it and he may be copying homework. He's not. He's g/t, very visual-spatial, and just has a hard time showing all the work required for geometry, but has worked with dh and a friend and they both know he 'gets' geometry. She's crushed his spirit, and it's now spilled over to his other classes. Last night he wrote me a note as he was taking social studies notes - he said something to the effect that 'Life is like playing violin, once you mess up you keep spiraling into a hole'. I've emailed his counselor today - I'm not convinced she'll do anything at this point, but it can't hurt.

Sue

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000
In reply to: suzyk2118
Thu, 05-03-2007 - 9:54am
Aww sue - your poor ds.
Pam
Avatar for suzyk2118
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-1997
In reply to: suzyk2118
Thu, 05-03-2007 - 10:13am

DH has talked with her (I have on the two P-T nights with him) - she's just very condescending, even to us, talking about what it's like to teach math and understand math (we both have math degrees so we couldn't POSSIBLY get it). I asked ds in Dec if he wanted out of there - he said no; it would've switched his world studies teacher and he likes her, plus he was determined to 'conquer' this teacher and her putting him down, but it just didn't happen that way. She just constantly badgers him and he's thrown in the towel, and it's rubbing off in all classes.

It almost did help him last night to come to terms with all of this, though, to figure out WHY he's been so down lately...

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2003
In reply to: suzyk2118
Thu, 05-03-2007 - 11:24am

In my view if you've talked to the teacher several times and it still hasn't worked then its time to talk to the vice principal. It needs to be escalated. Your son may not be the first nor the last who has been "badgered" by this teacher. Certainly there are kids who can withstand any sort of criticism. But at this age and as freshmen its more likely they need encouragement and support than "learning how to build a thick skin" if you know what I mean.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2006
In reply to: suzyk2118
Thu, 05-03-2007 - 11:25am

So sorry you are going through this, Suzy. It does make the school year awfully long, doesn't it?

My DS had a really rough time in 1st grade with a teacher who was perfectly awful in every way and had no business teaching 1st grade, imo. DS had many mysterious ailments that year that caused him to miss many days of school and I absolutely hated taking him there, but I did and we both got through it -- although not without tears on both our parts.

One thing I would say to DS that though wasn't very comforting but did help him see that sitting in Mrs. H. classroom wasn't a forever thing, was telling him that every kid has at least one rotten teacher in his/her life and that Mrs. H. was his and if he could get through her class, he could get through anything! It also helped to count down the days until a weekend, holiday and the end of the school year.

The end of the school year is not so far away now -- hopefully your DS will be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel and know that this teacher isn't a person who will be in his life for the long-term.

 

 

 

Avatar for suzyk2118
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-1997
In reply to: suzyk2118
Thu, 05-03-2007 - 11:29am

You're right and that's just what I did - their last day is the 25th so I told him even if she flunks him, that's just 3 weeks (one semester) in summer school to make up, and since he's planning to go anyway (but wasn't for that), it might be good to get a 'real' geometry teacher and get confidence back again, and a high enough grade so that he feels good about taking the harder (adv. alg) class in the fall.

Really, just talking to him and getting him to get to the root cause helped last night. It won't be smooth sailing in her class the next 3 weeks, but at least that's all that's left. And he knows I'd never permit him to have her again for anything!

Sue

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2005
In reply to: suzyk2118
Thu, 05-03-2007 - 12:11pm

I can't stand teachers who do this kind of thing.

Avatar for suzyk2118
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-1997
In reply to: suzyk2118
Thu, 05-03-2007 - 1:31pm

My plan is to give him positive encouragement, pep talk to death the last 3 weeks of school for all the other subjects (knowing it's truly at this woman's whim what she wants to do with ds's geometry grade at the end, as she's proven that already), ask him to go see her if he's willing so he doesn't feel defeated each time he goes to class (he said he would today; I'm not sure he will), and then see how things change over the summer - if he bounces back to his old self, that's great. I've also got a couple of books from the library on order; one for me and one for him that he wants to try. If he has ANY lingering concerns about his ability, we'll see what help he can get. Thanks for your input.

Sue