should DD accept free trip?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
should DD accept free trip?
5
Wed, 05-23-2007 - 12:22pm

DD told me last night that her friend's aunt has offered to take her on a cruise for free. She feels guilty for accepting it. It started when some friends were talking about taking a cruise, then the friend called and said that her aunt was all ready to make the plans and it would cost $1000 per person. My DD was not thinking of spending anywhere near this kind of money. She ended up planning a weekend away w/ a bunch of kids renting a big house (this same girl is going too) and it's costing them about $150 each.

I guess the friend told her aunt that she really wanted a friend to come along so the aunt said she would pay. Do you think it would be taking advantage to accept the trip, given the cost? She really can't afford to pay (as I wrote in another post, she doesn't even have a summer job yet.) She would bring money for her own expenses.

Meanwhile, her father (my ex) is taking her & her brother on a cruise at the end of July. What a life. I am 50 years old this year and I have never been on a cruise and always wanted to go on one. My ex used to say that he didn't like the idea of being confined to a boat. Then he married wife #2 and somehow she convinced him to try it and now he goes every year.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2007
Wed, 05-23-2007 - 1:48pm
Huh. That is a tough one. Maybe you could talk to the aunt (I don't know how old you dd is) but maybe that would put your / dd's minds at ease. I had a friend in high school who's father (lived in another state) offered to pay for me to come with friend for the summer to his beach house. (I was 16) after my parents talked to my friends father, they all agreed that it was ok. The father insisted that I come and apparentally the money wasn't an issue. $1000 IS allot of $. Is DD begging to go, or is she ok with the smaller beach house trip? I really an stumped on this one. I guess you and dd will have to decide for yourselves wether she should go or not. Sorry, I am not much help, but I am here.

Avatar for heartsandroses2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-23-2007 - 1:53pm

She's already made alternative plans, she's going on a cruise in July and she feels guilty about accepting such a large 'gift'. I think I would suggest that she gracefully bow out. OR, if you are of a means to do so, consider chipping in a portion of the cost, which *personally* I could not and would not do.

IMO, she should be focusing on getting a job to help finance other outings with her friends. Can't her friend invite someone else?

Good luck - this is one of those times when you can't win.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 05-23-2007 - 2:16pm
I'm not about to finance any of this trip, since I can hardly afford a vacation for myself. I don't think she really cared about going since she's already on the other cruise. It was more of her friend wanted someone else to come along her own age. The funny part about this is that her cousin is also in the same class and they are friends. I don't know why she's not going. I'll have to ask DD about this.
Avatar for suzyk2118
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-1997
Wed, 05-23-2007 - 2:48pm

Maybe the friend just really wants your dd to be with her? If so, that'd be a hard one to turn down, if they are serious about funding the whole thing. When I was younger, we would occasionally bring someone with us on a vacation (though not that much at the time) for me to have someone to hang around with (I'm an only)...

ETA: and no, my parents wouldn't have dreamed of having our 'guest' pay anything

Sue




Edited 5/23/2007 2:50 pm ET by suzyk2118
Avatar for weberdns0
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2000
Thu, 05-24-2007 - 10:54am

This is a tough one....but I'm not sure that I would let her do it.