School Took DD for Pregnancy Test...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2007
School Took DD for Pregnancy Test...
42
Mon, 05-28-2007 - 3:41pm
Hello! I need a second opinion here. We just found out Friday that my 14 year old daughter had gone to the school nurse with a story about sneaking out of the house and going to a party. She said that someone had slipped something into her drink and she woke up with no clothes on and believes she had been raped by a 15 yr. old boy. I guess this had happened in March and she was afraid she was pregnant. The school arranged for her and a friend to go down to Public Health for a pregnancy test, which was negative. My husband is furious!! He is wanting to press charges against the school and have the school nurse fired. I don't know... I know the nurse, just not personally. I would hate to be the cause of her losing her job, but I don't believe she handled the situation in the right way. Shouldn't we, as parents have been notified? We ended up finding all of this out Fri. from dd's counselor. I had received a release in the mail from the nurse wanting to correspond with the counselor so I signed the release. All of the above had already taken place though. What are your feelings on this situation? Was the school in the wrong, or are we just overreacting? Oh, and I guess what happened with dd is that she has been sneaking out and having consensual sex but panicked when she thought she was pregnant so made up the story. But that is another subject...

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Mon, 05-28-2007 - 5:21pm

I would be postitively furious that this was done with no effort to involve me!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2004
Mon, 05-28-2007 - 6:02pm

I would check out the laws of where you are. Here, the nurse did nothing wrong.
It is up to the girl if she wants her parents told or not. Before you complain, verify if the school was legally required to inform you. Your daughter may have requested that you not be told. I wouldn't be surprised that the school encouraged your daughter to talk to the police and to you but she didn't want to.

Instead of being angry with the school and the nurse, ask yourself why did your daughter not want to come & talk to you? This is not the time to be furious. Be grateful that SHE TALKED TO SOMEONE, that someone was there to help her. Consensual or not, it must have been very scary time for her. Getting the nurse fired might make you and your husband feel better but will it help your daughter?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2007
Mon, 05-28-2007 - 6:14pm
As I stated I don't think the nurse handled the situation well but I personally do not want her to lose her job over this. We have had lots of problems with my daughter lately. Of course she would not want to come to her parents and say I have been sneaking out of my room at night to have sex with my boyfriend and might be pregnant. My daughter manipulated and used this nurse to play games with us, her parents. Unfortunately a lot of people have been put in the middle. I just think the nurse should have made an effort to let us, as parents know.
Avatar for coldfingers
Community Leader
Registered: 04-30-2000
Mon, 05-28-2007 - 8:41pm

I think the posters point was that it may have been illegal for her to inform you.

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Avatar for weberdns0
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2000
Mon, 05-28-2007 - 10:06pm
Sorry but for pregnancy or suspected pregnancy your daughter has privacy rights, and the school handled it correctly.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2005
Tue, 05-29-2007 - 1:32am
As some of the other posters stated, here in PA from what I understand there is a right of privacy for a minor with regards to pregnancy and even abortion. Your anger should be aimed at our politicians for allowing this to happen.
Friday I had to take my DD for a job interview because they required my approval of a drug test for her employement, but yet she could go and get an abortion is she wanted without any parental consent. Makes you wonder if anyone has common sense?
I feel for you here, hopefully you'll find a way to get your DD to open up and talk to you on her own. With some kids, that's the hardest thing to ever get done.
I'd call the nurse and ask her why it was handled the way that it was, I'm sure she'll tell you of she legally couldn't inform you.
Good luck with the rest of the situation.
Avatar for weberdns0
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2000
Tue, 05-29-2007 - 7:36am
Please don't call the nurse.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Tue, 05-29-2007 - 7:39am

Every now and again someone says "charge the boy with statuatory rape" when these kinds of situations come up.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2007
Tue, 05-29-2007 - 8:23am

Rose,

Assume teen confidentiality did not exist. Your daughter catches syphilis. You are an abusive parent who frequently beats her children. (just play along, we all know better)…

The last time your daughter did something bad, you almost broke her arm. Your daughter now has syphilis and is afraid to tell anyone. She knows if she sees the school nurse then you’ll find out. She is alone and has nobody to turn to.

The initial symptoms of syphilis go away, but later far into adulthood your daughter finds out something is wrong. Her organs are shutting down and she is dying. Why? Because when she was 14 she mad a bad choice and had nobody to turn to. To give this story a happy ending we’ll say she was diagnosed by House MD, she received her penicillin shot and now she is going to live. Just for effect, lets add in she had a little bit of permanent nerve damage.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2007
Tue, 05-29-2007 - 8:32am

Actually 16 is the age of sexual consent in most places. Some are higher. Some are lower.

http://www.coolnurse.com/consent.htm

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