Procrastinating DD (Long)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2006
Procrastinating DD (Long)
11
Sat, 10-13-2007 - 10:13am

16yo DD has a terrible procrastination problem that is making us both nutty.

 

 

 

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Avatar for mjaye2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 10-13-2007 - 11:48am

And an equally long reply!


Julie, I feel for you and especially C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2006
Sat, 10-13-2007 - 11:49am

Hi Julie

Here's the crux of C's problem - she's smart and:
>>>>>she DOES pull it all together, she DOES pull it off and DOES get straight A's. <<<<<<<<

The main way we learn is through consequences - positive and negative - and right now, for a variety of reasons, the consequences are supporting the wrong behavior (she's being 'rewarded' for the procrastination). For smart kids, the negative conseuquences to procrastination come in college - my friend's son (a freshman this year) just told her "I can't slide through like I did in HS!".

One thing you could try is set a "finish by" time with C and then a reward. Like "if you finish all your work by 9pm, we can watch a TV show together". I think this is what motivates L some days - she and I can cuddle on the couch for "Desperate Housewives" or "House". Or we'll go for a walk together - mom/daughter time is highly prized by both of us. You and C can pick something that she really likes.

Or she could use a timer - setting the break for a fixed amount of time - and then making herself get back to it.

Remind her that this is a skill she'll be glad she developed when she gets to college and mom isn't there to "remind" her.

Sue, mom to Leah and Seth


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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-23-2005
Sat, 10-13-2007 - 3:25pm
I think she shoulds like a great kid and I'd leave it at that, lol.
Avatar for bookwormmom
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2003
Sat, 10-13-2007 - 6:34pm

I love the suggestions that mjaye, gave you. Kelsie is a procrastinator too. Not with daily homework, but with the things she has time to do, she will leave them for the last minute. For example she doesn't take PE due to a knee problem, so she has to do PE related projects, they are due every 5 wks for that time period. Last spring she got a 50 in PE for the last quarter, because she handed in the 1st 5 week project and "forgot" to do the last one. She should have had 100, but she never handed in the project.


Now she knows she isn't taking PE and what she has to do, do you think she would get it done ahead of time?NO! the night before it was due she was racing the clock.


I'm going to give her these suggestions and also those of luv-l-and-C and maybe they will help. Good luck to you with Chelsea, let us know how she is getting along.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2006
Sun, 10-14-2007 - 2:59pm

<<

 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2006
Sun, 10-14-2007 - 3:06pm

You know, Sue, that I'd never considered this!

 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2006
Sun, 10-14-2007 - 3:11pm

Well, I'm sure not going to argue that she's not a great kid, lol.

 

 

 

Avatar for weberdns0
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2000
Sun, 10-14-2007 - 3:14pm

My son is also a master procrastinator.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2006
Sun, 10-14-2007 - 3:19pm

Now that I've had time to really think about this, I can see the procrastinating habit IS spilling over into other areas of her life, which isn't so good.

 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-23-2005
Sun, 10-14-2007 - 9:44pm

Sorry if I came across as being unsupportive.

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