NEED HELP! PLEASE!! WHAT TO DO!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2007
NEED HELP! PLEASE!! WHAT TO DO!!
22
Tue, 10-16-2007 - 8:02pm

Long story short. ODS had 3 D's on his reportcard.


 
  

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2010
Tue, 10-16-2007 - 8:06pm

If this is a once and a lifetime thing I would let him go and push his grounding back one week, or make him do extra chores for allowing him to go.

I don't think he should miss a once in a life time thing for having some D's.

Avatar for mjaye2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 10-16-2007 - 8:52pm

If it is truly a once-in-a-lifetime chance, I would have to let him go.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Tue, 10-16-2007 - 9:53pm




The scenario you describe is exactly why I don't do grounding, and never really have.


My staff at work really messed up last week.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2004
Tue, 10-16-2007 - 11:09pm

Totally agree.


Grounding doesn't address the problem. It presents a short term punishment with no direct correlation to the fix. I would suggest he be allowed to go on this trip, with a forewarning that upon return, there will

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 10-17-2007 - 10:47am

I have never grounded my kids either.

Avatar for weberdns0
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2000
Wed, 10-17-2007 - 11:50am
You don't say what this once in a lifetime opportunity is, but you need to make a point that will get your son's attention.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2007
Thu, 10-18-2007 - 9:43am

Okay, you didn't ask for support with your decision, just opinions- so here's mine. I'm a fairly candid person and a poor typist, so I'm just going to be as brief as possible and to the point.


I completely understand that it doesn't feel good (guilt) for him to miss such an event. However, if you don't follow through with your word, it's meaningless and cannot be trusted. I could "sweeten" this up a bit, but at the end of the day, that's the bottom line. Your children need to completely know that you say what you mean and mean what you say, end of story.


Next, something to think about with the grade thing. I desire good grades and I know my kids are capable of making them and they do quite well, but we do not have rules for grades in our house.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2004
Thu, 10-18-2007 - 10:39am

<<>>


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2007
Thu, 10-18-2007 - 10:57am

Well Good Morning Daddioe! Thanks for the feedback. I believe it's important to say "I've made a mistake" and trust me, I've said that on more than one occasion. However, using it to change a consequence is in my opinion a mistake. I think there's really great lessons her for everybody involved~think before you speak and again, mean what you say.


She never mentioned regret for her decision, only regret he can't attend something "big." For me, this is the bottom line. Does that make sense? It's not as if she received new info and had an epiphany of sorts, something fun came up. Okay, big fun.


For me, I'm a believer we have to be flexible as parents~heck as people, or we couldn't grow. There's a big difference between "I lost my cool and made a mistake" and "I don't want you to miss a big opportunity." That's what makes me think differently about the situation.


Diana

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2004
Thu, 10-18-2007 - 11:35am

I looked back to the OP and I see what you mean.

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