books for boys about sex?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
books for boys about sex?
6
Wed, 10-17-2007 - 5:02pm
I'm looking for book suggestions - frank, honest and information books about sexuality intended for boys. I'm finding there are LOTS for girls, but not much for the boys!! My son came to me at the age of 14 from a dysfunctional background, and I've finding now that he's 16.5 that he has some weird ideas about sex. Can I be direct about some of the things he's said? On the one hand his very puritanical and shaming...masturbation is wrong and DISGUSTING and he'd never do it (and I'm lead to believe that he probably IS doing it but is feeling deeply ashamed and wondering what is wrong with him), oral sex is always wrong and degrading to women, and people should be put in jail for it...but on the OTHER hand, he HAS TO lose his virginity before he is 17 (doesn't even have a real girlfriend yet) and thinks that cross-dressing for sexual gratification is totally normal (I'm not going to get into a debate on the rightness or wrongness of cross dressing, but seriously - he assumes EVERYONE does it!). Please don't ignore my post assuming I'm some bored kid making this stuff up, LOL - I'm for real! I try to straighten out stuff as it comes up (shortly after he came to live here, he asked me (very worried) if his "thing" was broken because sometimes it leaks at night - and when I explained what was going on, he worried that he'd "use it all up and never have kids".). But I wonder what ELSE he isn't asking or saying. He's never been molested, but he's seen some pretty strange stuff and has had NO decent sex education. I know he understands the plumbing and biology, but I want a book that'll answer his big questions - something I can perhaps just leave lying around for him to see if he's interested.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2004
Wed, 10-17-2007 - 5:27pm

You may want to start with something like, "What's Happening to My Body Book for Boys" and depending on your personal
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Wed, 10-17-2007 - 5:53pm

Given the crazy background A has been in, from what you've shared, I'm not surprised that he has some rather odd views of sex.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 10-17-2007 - 7:42pm
thanks - I'll look at the one you mentioned. I did try Amazon and one called "What's happening down there?" looks pretty good. As for the "message" - I guess I'm just hoping to find something really balanced, that discusses safety and emotional implications but without saying that anything is "wrong". I'm thinking that he's already got some pretty strong messages from former family, friends and society, so trying to impose a different morality wouldn't "take". For instance, trying to suggest that sex should wait for marriage would probably just negate anythign else I'm trying to say, since everyone he knows is living together, and such. I'd settle for just knowing he's not planning to go out and have children with every girlfriend he has and then choose not to parent them! (he used to think that was a pretty cool idea - virility measured by quantity, and how many women you can get pregnant!).
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 10-17-2007 - 8:35pm
hmm...he's not a huge reader either, but I'm hoping that curiosity will win out! LOL - at least he's pretty uninhibited about asking questions or stating opinions - I really wish my daughter was more open to talking about "stuff".
Avatar for bookwormmom
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2003
Wed, 10-17-2007 - 9:00pm

There is a website that I have found to be very helpful as far as information. I don't know if you are interested in hm looking on the internet. I have found

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
Avatar for suzyk2118
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-1997
Thu, 10-18-2007 - 7:50am

I second the 'What's Happening to My Body Book for Boys'. Well done and descriptive. Helped my ds dispel some of the things he'd heard at school.

Sue