need advice for dd

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-13-2007
need advice for dd
11
Thu, 11-01-2007 - 5:08am

please help me....my dd just started ms and seems to have lost all her friends...she is a very sweet, nice girl, but extremely shy...the girls she used to hang out with don't seem to call her anymore...i feel like they think its just "not cool" to be seen with her anymore, so they ignore her...it's like she is non existant...i know people are going to tell me to tell her to join clubs etc....but she already plays 3 sports and has joined a few clubs....the problem is that alot of these same girls are in those things...we are from a small school, there are only 100 kids in the grade and we dont integrate with other schools...so this is it until 12th grade...i dont know how much more i can take of this...i cry every night for her...it breaks my heart...especially things like when she sits down next to someone on her basketball team and they move their seat...or they make sure she knows they are all going to the movies together and that she is no longer invited to these events...what do i do....i've tried everything....she tries to call people, but they are always busy...she is becoming more and more of an introvert and is very sad...please help...thanks

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Thu, 11-01-2007 - 8:03am

Hugs to you and your DD, this is such a difficult, but very common ms story.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2005
Thu, 11-01-2007 - 8:23am

So sorry that dd is going through this, but as the previous poster said, it's not unusual in ms.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-13-2007
Thu, 11-01-2007 - 8:50am
i thank everyone so much for their advice and i am only hoping that good things will come to my dd...i just fear that since we do not feed into another school and these girls are it, that it will only make her feel more isolated as time goes by....i am trying to be strong for her, but it is very hard....so i appreciate all advice given, especially those who have gone thru the same
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Thu, 11-01-2007 - 1:38pm
I know it's hard when you're living through it, but remember, if there are 100 kids in her grade, 50 of them are likely girls... there are nice friends out there for her, it just might take her awhile to find them.
Avatar for coldfingers
Community Leader
Registered: 04-30-2000
Thu, 11-01-2007 - 2:22pm
There are also girls in the class above her and the class below her.
Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2006
Thu, 11-01-2007 - 9:22pm

As unfortunate as it is, it seems that a large number of girls are on the receiving end of some sort of 'mean girl' drama in the middle school years.

 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2003
Thu, 11-01-2007 - 10:28pm

I know its small comfort but almost every poster on this thread has a story of how their daughters went through this at the same age.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2006
Fri, 11-02-2007 - 1:29am

No advice here, just hugs to send your way.

Our DS18 when he was in 7th grade lost his closest friend, simply because he played different sports. DS was quite lonely for a couple of years, but it was nothing like you're describing with your DD. It's when I hear these tales that I am so thankful I had two boys instead of the girls (well, at least one) I'd hoped for. Girls, and even grown women, can be so catty!

Let your DD know that just because of the other girls' cattiness, she is so much better than them, and that some day they will pay for it. I'd tell her to make sure she never treats anyone the way they treat her--it's just plain wrong! There are women who make it to "the top" with attitudes like that, but I have a hard time believing any one of them can be happy with herself up there--carrying that attitude through middle age, they'd have to end up as either loners or self-acknowledged fakes!

-----------------------------------------------
http://www.pnhp.org/news/2009/october/meet_the_new_health_.php

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DQTBYQlQ7yM

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Fri, 11-02-2007 - 7:55am

<>


I'm usually not one to rejoice in the ill fortunes of others but.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2006
Fri, 11-02-2007 - 11:25am

On the way to school this morning, I was telling C just how often this subject comes up

 

 

 

Pages