teens and views?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2005
teens and views?
14
Tue, 11-06-2007 - 8:27pm

Sorry to post two in one day, but this issue is a bit distant and came to mind.

My daughter's religious school has a retreat yearly for each student. In senior year, they entire grade goes on a "retreat" which is often a charity or activism activity.

This year, the religious director has chosen for that to be a pro-life rally/peaceful protest. My daughter disagrees with this point of view and is adamant about not attending. She wants me to call in sick for her the day the grade attends.

I'm torn. I don't believe she should have to stand up for something she doesn't believe in (as much as I hold the opposite view), but at the same time, I don't believe in calling in sick for her.

Advice?

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Tue, 11-06-2007 - 8:52pm
That's a tough one.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2004
Tue, 11-06-2007 - 10:24pm
Would it be possible to ask the director or perhaps other school leader what a student could do
Avatar for mjaye2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 11-06-2007 - 10:45pm

I might have to know more about it--where is it being held, what exactly are they going to be required to do, etc.

Avatar for bookwormmom
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2003
Tue, 11-06-2007 - 11:34pm

I never "call my kids in sick" unless they are really sick. But I would call and say that she will not be able to attend this activity. Just like many things in life, we tend to think we have to explain everything, why we can't go out to lunch with a friend, why we don't want to attend a function, does there always have to be a reason why someone doesn't do something?


Call or have dd call and state to this person in charge that she will not be able to attend the protest and is there something else she can do in place of it? She can either say she disagrees with the protest or she can just say she will not be attending. Not attending doesn't mean she doesn't agree with what they are protesting, but it means that she isn't attending. Maybe she doesn't like to be outspoken about her beliefs. There are things that I disagree with, but would never ever attend a protest against them, it isn't who I am and I don't believe kids should be forced to protest either. That is their right, just as it is to protest if they want to.


Personally, if my dd was told that she had to attend a protest, I would be calling whoever was in charge to let them know that I didn't think this was acceptable, whether my dd agreed or not. I just don't think it is right to tell them they have to attend something like this. JMHO!

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2006
Wed, 11-07-2007 - 12:35am

Thoughtful response. I like that--I could never say it as diplomatically as you did!

I think dd should call herself, to say she will not be attending (no reason needs to be given), rather than having her mom call to say she is sick. And if her mom wants to call, also, to express her objection that would be fine.

-----------------------------------------------
http://www.pnhp.org/news/2009/october/meet_the_new_health_.php

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DQTBYQlQ7yM

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Wed, 11-07-2007 - 7:26am
Having DD call to say she won't be attending is a wonderful way to teach her to take responsibility for herself - but in our school it wouldn't fly and would be dealt with the same as if she'd simply cut class.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2005
Wed, 11-07-2007 - 9:04am

She needs to stand up for her own views. Perhaps she can do an alternative assignment, a debate paper os something like that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 11-07-2007 - 9:16am

Im totally in agreement with bookwormmom's post and the points she makes. I have learned in recent years not to 'explain' myself when I decline something.

I also like the idea of asking the general question of "what about those who choose not to participate" I don't know the extent of this event but surely some will have safety concerns.

All that failing, does this fall in the same category as making your child attend religious services should she decide she is agnostic or atheist? Would you do that?

Avatar for mjaye2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 11-07-2007 - 10:07am

I agree with you in theory as to the calling in sick, but at our school we would have no choice.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2003
Wed, 11-07-2007 - 10:41am

You know my dd goes to a Catholic high school and it really IS difficult to form an opinion that is different than the religious instruction they get without somehow offending others who do subscribe to those beliefs.

Pages