Jealous of the GF!
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| Sat, 12-22-2007 - 9:07am |
This is embarrassing but it has been two weeks since the upsetting event and I am not getting over it!
DS2's GF is drop dead gorgeous, hot, beautiful-take your pick. She also works at a bar restaurant that encourages tip seeking attire so she tends to dress that way
The first time DH met her, I joked I had to wipe the drool off his chin. I mean the whole pupil showing attraction thing? His eyes could have been in the encyclopedia explaining the concept!
ON DS2's birthday we went to a cook your own steak place. DH hovered over this girl, cooking her steak, helping her with her coat and chair, etc, etc
I,meanwhile, was ignored. I think if I fell in the parking lot, Id still be there!
DS doesnt seem bothered but I know he has noticed. The girl told him she didnt think I liked her. DH asked "she doesnt feel that way about me?". DS laughed and said "you're a guy, dad-she knows how you feel about her" DH got very angry-a textbook example of protesting too much
I hate to confront DH over this. I know he will insist he is just being polite and we will get nowhere. And I feel somewhat silly
But it REALLY bothered me.......

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Well, this isn't what I expected to read when I read your title!
I wasn't 100% sure of the problem, but now that there have been 2 responses, I see...
I guess if it were me, and I would most definitely have a sense of humor about the whole thing, I would tell DH while that I was not *jealous* that he should consider the possibility that DS may end up in a serious relationship with this girl, she may even become family...??? It could add an embarrassing dynamic in the future, kwim?
As far as the humor goes, I'll give an example...over the summer
Windrush.... I don't know how to tell you this.... but men are stupid…OK.. not really stupid..but different.
A friend of mine once jokingly told me, "you know your getting old when your daughters friends start really looking fine."
< I don't know how to tell you this.... but men are stupid…OK.. not really stupid..but different.>
I tell my daughter this all the time....thanks for having a male actually confirm it! LOL
It would really bother me, too. Fortunately my DH does not do that with DSs' gfs, or with me,LOL! (Hey, it's been 30 years.)
DH (58) does always tell me how all the young women are looking at him at the gym....yeah, right. If DH actually were to act in the manner you described, I'd likely do what Daddioe suggested and tell him he looks ridiculous. But before I'd open my mouth, I'm sure either one of my DSs would give him the same message, loud and clear.
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http://www.pnhp.org/news/2009/october/meet_the_new_health_.php
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DQTBYQlQ7yM
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He will go on the defensive and insist he did nothing wrong.
He was just being friendly
You’re overreacting and / or just being silly
He may accuse you of being insecure.>>
YEP, you know him! That sums it up pretty well!
I will take your suggestions as I had not thought of that tactic. I assume I should do this in private and not in front of the GF(however tempting) ;)
I was thinking along the same lines as Daddioe. I was going to suggest saying something like "Yeah, So-and-So really likes you. I can tell, she sees you as a Grandfather figure!"
I have the kind of relationship w/ my DH where I would have let him know how I felt from the git-go, while using humor to set him straight at the same time. Ugh. What are these men thinking??
I don't blame you at all for being mad! He probably doesn't realize how it affects you, and I'm sure he isn't thinking about how it might make your DS or the GF feel!
Ive never been at the receiving end of this as a DIL. My FIL was rather an odd dude-pretty much ate his food at get togethers and ran off to watch TV or even go to bed. No way he ever retrieved my coat from the closet much less waited on me food wise! I honestly can't recall if my dad did this sort of thing for my SIL.
So, yes, it seems awkward to me. I hate to say 'inappropriate' because that implies something a little more physical than what I am seeing.
Is it about me? Yes, I feel ignored and that is hurtful. Two, I feel embarrassed in the way one would feel when their child draws attention to themselves in a restaurant with misbehavior
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Considering I am the last thing on his mind......
It would be different if he was treating ALL the ladies in that way. Offering to cook steaks or calling the waiter to refill drinks for both of us but when I am pretty much alone at the grill.
My 16 yr old hung with me. Frankly, I think HE picked up on my discomfort. He is the most sensitive of the menfolk-always has been.
Im glad you would be angry too, though, as odd as that sounds. I don't believe there is any possibility of her being attracted to him but it felt 'demeaning'.
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