Sick of Stupid Lies
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Sick of Stupid Lies
| Sun, 12-23-2007 - 12:03am |
Ever feel like you are in totally over your head with one of your kids?
| Sun, 12-23-2007 - 12:03am |
Ever feel like you are in totally over your head with one of your kids?
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I have no clue why she'd be lieing about the little stuff - none whatsoever.
Hmmm...lying is a particular dislike of mine...
It sounds like she's telling these kinds of lies due to laziness and being in a hurry....as always, I can only say what I would do....
For starters, a simple statement; i.e. Lying is not okay. Small lies lead to big lies and then it becomes a habit. If you want to be trusted, which leads to privileges, then you must always tell me the truth....(not sure of DD's age)
Then, like everything involved with parenting, the work starts. Verify everything she says. If she didn't give the cat water, make her stop what she's doing and water it. Oh, and since you're doing that, why don't you give the bowl a good washing first?
Time to get off the computer? Get in her face, say 5 more minutes and then you turn it off. No matter what she's doing...
I don't generally ground my kids, but tend to treat them like I would a dog I was training. They do something wrong, an immediate no and then a short and sweet consequence. No, my kids are not animals. I love them to death and I'm doing a darn good job raising them.
As the kids get older, they gradually have to learn to *own* their own problems and thus suffer the consequences...naturally, if it involves something harmful, it is still our problem. (like your B.C. issue, but I'm sure you're on top of that) But in this case, it sounds like she just can't be bothered and is simply telling you she did things because it's easier. She doesn't care that you're exasperated. But she may care when, say, you take the phone out of her hand and say *DD has to go, she forgot to take care of her cat*. Be prepared for some mouthing off, but mom's have to have broad shoulders.
Just some thoughts.
Oh, I know a real dog trainer would prolly use a reward system, but that's not so good with kids. My dog actually goes to her *room* when she's naughty.
My dh(15) does the same thing!
You know I sometimes have problems with remembering to do "the little things".
Don't have any good advice for you, but I understand your frustration. My DS13 lies ALL the time, about everything. It isn't even really to get out of things or to get away with things...sometimes it's to get me off his back about things. But other times, it just seems totally gratuitous. He'll just make up stories--or embellish stories--so it is hard to know what is fact and what is fiction.
I hear what others are saying about working to verify everything and then correcting them, but when you have a kid like this, it becomes exhausting, if not impossible to track down every little thing. I'm just focusing on the big things, and so far, he has been pretty good since I caught him in a couple of big lies.
I don't know what the reason for this is. We don't punish our kids severely for things, so he shouldn't be afraid to tell us the truth. He isn't a perfectionist, where he'd be reluctant to own up to things. Personally, I think he has an overactive imagination at times.
You know, with this whole BC thing.... there's something in me that says this is on a whole different level than the other stuff going on.
wow are sureyou do not live with my daughter. she is 12 and does the same thing, every morning did you brush your teeth yes, like heck you did did you put deorderant on yes, like heck you did. then when i ask her she gives me a major attitude. like i am a big pain in the butt. at night rich tells her to turn the lights and tv off in the spare room, she says yes, but all she does is turn the tv down, my 7 year olds take better care of themselfs then she does. she is in jr high and i know how mean girls can be so i really try to get her to take care of herself but i get major attitude and she comes back with i am not stupid mom. i tell her to brush her hair now minde you her hair is so thick that it grows out instead of straight down and it is wavy i say did you brush your hair and of course i get a yes when i can see she has not. my older daughter was not that bad and i am hoping jaime will not be she already has to look perfect at 7, noah who is her twin brother is a boy it is a battle with him but i just assumed it is a boy thing. i think it is just lazyness on her part and i am a big pain in the butt.
shannon
shannon
shannon
If it was just the bcp that she was like this with I would be inclined to agree with you that it was a possibility she wanted this.
Hope you survive the mall Kim! You are a brave woman!
I feel bad for your DD, I really do.
Thanks mamas :D
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