So when they turn 18??

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2007
So when they turn 18??
26
Sun, 12-30-2007 - 10:55am

Can someone please clarify me on what suddenly happens when your kids turn 18? It seems from different threads I've read over the past few months that the kids then have rights that their parents have no control over. I never went through that rebellious stage unfortunately, so I continued to defer to my parents at least until I was through college (and I started college well before I turned 18). I know kids can't legally drink until they're 21. Are they legally allowed to do everything else when they're 18? Even if they're still in high school and financially dependent on their parents?


I'm not being argumentative--I just want to know because I have less than 2 years till my oldest turns 18!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2007
Sun, 12-30-2007 - 11:23am

I think EJ that they can leave their parents and not be counted as runaways.

Avatar for imomtojd
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 12-30-2007 - 11:35am

Awesome post, I agree totally. DS turns 17 in a few days (boo-hoo) and we've always told him that as long as he's living with and being supported by us, he must follow our rules. The caveat is that you have to be reasonable with the rules, and let them grow wings while still keeping them safe. But to me, 18 will really be no different than 17 - he will be given more and more freedom and responsibility as time goes on, so hopefully he will be able to survive and thrive away from home.

Lisa

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2007
Sun, 12-30-2007 - 11:39am

Quote: "Can someone please clarify me on what suddenly happens when your kids turn 18?"


In the eyes of the law they become adults.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2002
Sun, 12-30-2007 - 11:40am
I agree Lisa....they must know that no matter where they live or go in life, there will be boundaries. 18 is not a passport to total freedom, neither is 21 or 25 or 50! There is/are (?)

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2003
Sun, 12-30-2007 - 11:40am

I think the legal entitlements at age 18 are different based on different jurisdictions.


Here in Canada, at 18, you may enter into legal contracts, serve in the military, marry without parental consent,

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Sun, 12-30-2007 - 12:25pm

Technically candledance, at 18 they have all the same rights and *responsibilities* as you and I do.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2004
Sun, 12-30-2007 - 12:26pm

There is one interesting exception involving 18 yr old high school seniors -

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000
Sun, 12-30-2007 - 12:36pm
Haven't read the other responses yet but at 18 they do get lots of *legal* rights - they can enter into a binding contract, they can buy lottery tickets, cigs and porn, they can enter the military, etc.
Pam
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000
Sun, 12-30-2007 - 12:40pm
Same here, daddioe - Justin will still need a note from me if he's sick after his March birthday and I'll still have access to his grades.
Pam
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 12-30-2007 - 1:06pm

We went through this with DS2-he had all these grand plans for 18 that didnt transpire but there was plenty of talk and threats

I was fearful because I had no doubt that the parents of his best buddy would take him in should he leave this home. That was certainly preferable to the kid living on the streets but would be a big kick in the old parental self esteem, KWIM?

I suspect a lot of our kids have someplace else to go(DH lived in the basement of a friends family his senior year in high school-dont know the details-just know he did)

So, yes, I think it can be a frightening threat.

Parents parent differently and, in the case of the cruise, some mom who thinks the OP is being overprotective could take that girl in in a heartbeat.

Then, on a totally different note, I bring up 'she is 18' in my replies because I think it is a reminder to parents that there is a change in the air. We tend to go merrily along parenting in the same way because, heck, its working for the most part.

That first year away at college or on their own is a big step and I truly believe learning to let go a bit ahead of time is preferable to cold turkey for both parties.

Last different note, they can sign leases and they can drink and gamble on international waters at 18.

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