I don't have BTDT experience with this, but it seems like your best route is to help her see how this is not healthy or helpful for her, rather than picking on him directly. When my DD has been involved with friends who are not good for her, I've gone at it sideways sometimes by talking about "toxic" friends - those people who don't bring out your strongest side, who bring out the nastiness in you. There's one woman I used to know slightly who always made me sad and angry and mean - I tried very hard to avoid being with her whenever possible. So rather than just saying "that was rotten that he didn't watch your game", you could say "when he did that, it brought out a mean side of you. I know that's not your best side" Also, tie into her long term goals - it's going to be hard to get what you want if this relationship is draining your positive energy and your self-esteem.
Sue, mom to Leah and Seth
Wow.
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Edited 2/19/2008 5:40 pm ET by kel7col4
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Edited 2/19/2008 5:40 pm ET by kel7col4