7th grade friend issue

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2001
7th grade friend issue
13
Fri, 01-04-2008 - 5:11pm

My dd has two friends from school who have know each other since they were very small.

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Avatar for bookwormmom
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2003
Fri, 01-04-2008 - 5:17pm

I agree with you. It isn't her responsibility to keep the girls apart. She should invite who ever she wants to her party and the girls and the mom's will have to deal with it, not you dd.


My dd has someone that she will not be around, and for very good reasons, not just a small incident. Some of her friends are still friends with him and if they invite him to a party or whatever, she just doesn't go. Her friends know that she will not be around him, but that is not their problem and she has told them such. She just asks that they tell her if he is going to be there.


I would think that if my 17 yo dd can work this out for herself, this mom and the girls ought to be able to do the same.


I'd tell her to go ahead and invite them and let the chips fall where they may.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2007
Fri, 01-04-2008 - 5:36pm

I agree with you, if you and your daughter want both girls at your house then invite them.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 01-04-2008 - 6:01pm

Does dd have reason to think this mom might make a scene?

I agree it is the mom's responsibility to check this out ahead but if she doesnt......is she the type who will walk in and yell or cry or embarrass all the girls in question

I would be torn between what is right and just and not wanting my DD's birthday ruined if this woman has a 'history'. I would likely give the mom a heads up myself. It could be interjected into conversation "so excited about this party. Sara, Alice, Maria are all going to be there-we will have a houseful"

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2001
Fri, 01-04-2008 - 7:28pm

Thanks all.


I've actually never met the mother.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2005
Fri, 01-04-2008 - 7:40pm


Ummmm, do you feel comfortable with this?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2007
Fri, 01-04-2008 - 7:45pm

I would NOT let the girls be deceptive about this either.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2006
Fri, 01-04-2008 - 8:45pm
The mom who wants to isolate her daughter from the other girl has the problem. I'd ignore it and have your dd invite HER friends to HER party. Show the weird mom the door if she makes any improper comments. You shouldn't have to worry about her at all.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-20-2003
Fri, 01-04-2008 - 10:21pm

How friendly are you with the other girls mom?


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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Sat, 01-05-2008 - 4:55pm
I would stay out of it - the problem is the other mother's not yours. If you were to call and say something I think it would simply add to the middle school drama. For the record - this is probably the first of many people the mother will try to block from her child's life. Seventh grade starts a period when parents need to be very aware of what is going on but stand about 3 steps back. If the mother is worred let her call you otherwise keep you head low and smile :)

Courtney


I pray my wish, will come true, for my child, and your child too...

Courtney

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2007
Sat, 01-05-2008 - 5:14pm

Well do you know what the incident is in the first place? I mean you might just not want your DD to invite this girl either...............I agree with everyone else though,,,It is the mothers responsibility especially if she knows all three girls are likely to want to be together.................I don't believe in the deceptive part either that could come back to haunt you....................just




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