How do you motivate...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2005
How do you motivate...
5
Sat, 01-05-2008 - 8:28am

My daughter is a freshman.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2006
Sat, 01-05-2008 - 9:35am

FWIW, 8th and 9th grade are tough times IMO - getting used to HS expectations and gradually learning to be more independent and self-motivated - it's a long process. We weren't really able to get my DD16 involved in extracurricular activities until 10th grade. I think just school was enough to keep her busy.

I think you're on the right track here - limiting some activities and rewarding studying and grades. Keep encouraging girl friends and other positive outlets and she'll find what motivates her.

Sue, mom to Leah and Seth


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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Mon, 01-07-2008 - 12:39pm

Besides activities that you have to try out for, there must be some other clubs.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-20-2003
Mon, 01-07-2008 - 11:25pm

I have found what works best for my teen is just what your doing--a tangible motivator.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2005
Tue, 01-08-2008 - 8:02am

Does your school have a career counseling center?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2002
Tue, 01-08-2008 - 8:40am

No great insights to offer, but one sure thing that I found has motivated my kids over the years is pointing out a job well done. When they do their best on a special project or bring home a very good grade...I point out to them how good they obviously feel about themselves at that point. Make them aware of just how rewarding it is to put forth the best effort...*see, wasn't that worth it, I'm so proud as you should be too.*. Like that...


My kids have a lot of friends. Sad, but true, some of them come from homes where the parents have no clue. They struggle with school and sometimes just give up and try to slide through. For example...on the elementary level, our school participates in P.A.R.P., for those who don't know, it's simply a reading incentive program that involves the family. At the end of each week, parents sign off that their kids did a certain amount of work and there are rewards. One of my DD's friend did not do any of the required reading and her mom would sign off anyway. I know this for a fact, because she did it right here at my house in front of me. Crazy stuff, right? Another example...they had a project to do over Spring vacation last year. It was due the first day back. I know of 2 kids who didn't even give it a thought, and first day back, both girls were allowed to stay home from school to do the work. I just think these are perfect examples of what not to do. (not sayin' a kid can't take a mental health day every great while, but this is different)


Anyway, the point is, we often invite this kid and others in a similar situation to our home after school to work together, on homework and bigger projects. I find that it's gratifying to my kids to help and to motivate other kids. KWIM?


OT...my SIL fed her own Beanie Baby addiction by using it as a reward system for her DD. She started at a young age and every good grade and accomplishment got her a Beanie Baby. Now I wouldn't do this simply because I can't afford it, but it worked for her. The kid is off at college, doing great, working and has, hmmm....about a million Beanies.