DS admits to being Depressed- NOW WHAT

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2008
DS admits to being Depressed- NOW WHAT
41
Sun, 01-06-2008 - 12:12pm
Hello all, My 17 years old is a good kid, with no problems in behavior, school or much in the else except occational moodiness. But he did finally admit he is depressed, which i knew for a while - he just needed to say it. He has given us a couple scares, talking about suicide on his myspace. We've talked it about it- and it seems to pass- but like i said now he's said he just wants to get rid of the down mood. Anyhow he's willing to see the dr and find out about meds.(Note: we have tried St.Johns wort for about a year and it worked for a while- but not anymore) He doesnt feel talking to a stranger will help. Since he talks with us quiet a bit, im willing to just try the dr. thing at this point.
So has anyone had any GOOD luck with any type of medications, Which ones work better for mild depression in this age group? i know everyones different, just looking for a starting base.
thanks in advance, worried mom.

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Avatar for bookwormmom
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2003
Sun, 01-06-2008 - 1:12pm
I don't have any experience with meds for this age group, but I do feel that he should at least try some counseling. Sometimes just understanding what is going on with you as far as why you are depressed can help.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2006
Sun, 01-06-2008 - 1:58pm

You're lucky your DS will talk to you. Last year when our DS, at the same age, was depressed, he held everything inside and that was scary, not knowing what he was thinking. He finally did agree to counseling and needed just a couple sessions cuz his depression was was mostly due to a single incident. Because our DS is so shy/quiet to begin with, the therapist did say he felt limited because DS did not easily open up to him. And I know he is a good therapist.

From everything I read, for adolescents with lingering emotional troubles, a combination of therapy and meds is better than either one alone. If your DS will talk to you, I bet a therapist wouldn't have too much trouble getting him to open up. Ask around for references--I know it feels awkward exposing your DS's troubles, but you'll be surprised how many other teens also have problems. When asking friends or school counselors, you don't have to go into detail--just say you're worried because your DS has been so down lately, and you wondered if they know of anyone who could recommend a therapist who works well with teens.

Mental health problems no longer have the social stigma they did years ago. It was my boss who referred us to the therapist to whom she'd sent her daughter 10 years ago. I never would have guessed her children ever had troubles. In my eyes she was the perfect woman, mother, teacher, everything. Only when I told her how worried I was about DS did she tell me about her daughter's struggles.

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http://www.pnhp.org/news/2009/october/meet_the_new_health_.php

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DQTBYQlQ7yM

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2008
Sun, 01-06-2008 - 2:14pm

thanks for you thoughts on counseling. i will bring it up to him again.
The depression started a couple of years ago. he has always had girlfriends from first grade on... but this one got him into an anorexia state, he lost 30 lbs, before we knew what was going on... we had him tested for gallbladder etc. then we found out when they broke up he was cutting himself- to feel the pain. like i said he does talk to me - just after the fact.

His latest bout worsened when another girlfriend- he thought would be forever, broke it off with him after a year and half together. This happened at the end of last summer and the few monthes were touch and go... I thought maybe he was getting past it, but when i ask if he was trying out for the school play- which he always does. HE said he couldnt, as she would be in it. It frustrates me that still gives her this much power.

He is an outgoing kid, a great musician, has been accepted at three of his colleges of choice. He is worried how he will pay for them (and we can only help so much), how he will do etc.. which I think now is contributing to the depression.

after writing all this.. i do think counseling would be a good answer for him too. i will bring it up to the dr.
Do any of you know if I can make suer the counseler is aware of some of the above mentioned items before he meets with them? not sure how that works.
thanks again.

Avatar for weberdns0
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2000
Sun, 01-06-2008 - 3:21pm

You need your son to be on some type of medication.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Sun, 01-06-2008 - 3:48pm
I feel for you. When we took our DD13 to the Psychiatrist last year for her severe panic attacks she told us that if she were to see my DD on the street and had not read her file she would have said to herself that is a very depressed child. She told us that there was no spark at all in our DD eyes, and that she looked lifeless. And, she was right. She was a very outgoing girl with many, many friends. She was always on the phone or spending the night at her BFF's house. But, after the panic set in she went from a happy, outgoing girl to a lump that stayed curled up on the couch, not going anywhere, and wouldn't even talk to her BFF on the phone when she would call. It was heartbreaking to see her this way. The Psych. Dr. started her on a low dose of zoloft, and told us that it was a trial and error type of thing to find the right meds for each person. We were lucky that the zoloft seemed to work for her and we didn't have to do a lot of med searching to find the right one. After 8-12 weeks on the med she came back to us (so to speak).She held steady at a low dose until just a couple of months ago, she had to go up on the dosage due to some anxiety starting to creep back up on her. Now, you would never know she suffered from severe panic and depression. We have to take the phone away from her and she is always going places with her group of friends. She did do the one on one therapy with a licensed therapist but, the therapy that helped her the most was with her school counselor. After seeing what my DD was going through the school noticed that there were others her age with the same type of problems and they started a support group for these kids at school. They meet once a week, and are able to talk with each other and see that they aren't alone in this. Maybe your DS would be more at ease talking to the school counselor, or at least starting there for some support outside of the home. I wish you the best of luck with this. I know the heartache you are feeling seeing your child go through this. I felt every bit of pain that my DD was feeling, and it was killing me to know that I alone could not fix it for her. If you have any questions please don't hesitate to ask me.
http://www.paintedthoughts.us
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2007
Sun, 01-06-2008 - 3:56pm

My DS saw a councelor for a little while last year after a terrible event (the other story I have still not gone into on this board yet)

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2006
Sun, 01-06-2008 - 4:25pm

You should really email/call Pam, the CL on this board. Her DS also had an eating disorder. She'll be a great source of support.

In case you're not familiar with the boards, look above the list of discussion topics and you'll see: Your community leader is ....... When you click on Pam's screenname her profile pops up and you can click on "send email" at the top.

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http://www.pnhp.org/news/2009/october/meet_the_new_health_.php

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DQTBYQlQ7yM

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2005
Sun, 01-06-2008 - 4:29pm
Hi, just wanted to add my two cents b/c my dd went through depression and cutting a few years ago.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2008
Sun, 01-06-2008 - 4:36pm
ds past the eating disorder thing now...im not saying he couldnt relapse, but i started a healthy eating exercise program at home for all of us and he has jumped on board with that. so we compare notes often on food. I now get questions "like are doritoes really that bad for me?" "im like yes and ill get you some baked and how about a banana instead?" This open dialoge helps me keep a close eye on his weight...
I have to admit anti-depres. scare the heck out me. i had what i now know what post partum depression after he was born, they put me on prozac and i had suicidal thoughts the first week. Thank god my dh was home when it happended. but NEVER again. found anti- anxiety meds worked better for me. Thats why we tried the st. johns wort for him- plus he still cant swallow a pill and they made that in liquid. Wondering if we just increased the dosage on the wort if that would help as he is taking a low dose?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000
Sun, 01-06-2008 - 7:45pm

I think the others are right in that you should encourage your ds to get some counselling along with possibly getting on meds.

Pam

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