Help me, I just want support

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2008
Help me, I just want support
8
Sun, 01-06-2008 - 11:42pm
I am the stepfather of a 16 year old boy.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2007
Mon, 01-07-2008 - 7:38am

I'm so sorry you are going through this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Mon, 01-07-2008 - 7:55am
I'm sorry you are dealing with this, but I have to agree with Julie - if violence is entering the picture, it's time to bring in professional help IMO.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 01-07-2008 - 9:07am

You need to clarify 'violent' for us

My three boys are 16, 20, and 22. There were slammed doors and lots of yelling but nothing close to them striking either of us. I remember one going in their room and trashing it behind closed doors, but they later cleaned it up on their own and nothing of value was destroyed.

If there are physical confrontations, I agree with it being time to call in counseling. There are many programs out there. I work for a govenrment grant and the agency that has my grant also has one for just this. These folks have Masters in Social Work degrees and are on call. It is typical for them to get calls at 2AM on a Saturday and have to drive however long to deal with these things. There IS help other than the police. It will take some phone calls

Avatar for bookwormmom
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2003
Mon, 01-07-2008 - 9:12pm
I agree with the others that you need to seek some professional help. Probably in the form of family counseling. We have had some problems with dealing with our dd, although she hasn't been violent at any time, other than slamming her bedroom door.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2006
Tue, 01-08-2008 - 9:48am

Just wanted to give you a cyber (((((hug))))) and welcome you to the board! I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this. Although my ds (12) has anger management problems, he has not (yet) become violent. (And I am hoping that it never gets to that point!)


The other posters gave some good advice - I hope that helps!


Amelia

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2002
Tue, 01-08-2008 - 10:42am

Some kids become angry when they are sad, disappointed (even in themselves, like forgetting an assignment) or even excited. A family conselor can help you deal with this and teach your son some anger management techniques. I do know some of the basics tho...do not yell, engage or be at all confrontational when the boy is upset. Walk away, provided no one's safety is in question and when he is calm, then try to talk about things, why he got upset and how he could react differently. Sometimes family meetings can help too, where everyone can calmly and appropriately air their grievances.


I have to commend you for addressing this and taking steps to make things better. I have mentioned before that I grew up with a step-parent and in a blended family. I learned so much from the things that my parents did wrong.


Good luck.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2007
Tue, 01-08-2008 - 10:53am

Hi there,


I am sorry that this is happening to your family.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2007
Tue, 01-08-2008 - 11:47am

I have to agree, if it has gone beyond slamming doors and such, then its time for some professional help. I am sorry you are going through this, no one should have to.


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