Wicked SM or Selfish SS??!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2007
Wicked SM or Selfish SS??!!
18
Mon, 01-07-2008 - 8:14pm

I already know that allot of you will read this and think "what a bit@$", or "she's so petty", but I don't care. I have had it and I am posting this. Maybe some of you have/had the same experience and can offer some options, others like i said will think I am being petty and rude. Here goes:


Tonight, I stopped on the way home at the grocery store and bought all the things I needed to make a large pan of lasagna. Mind you this was already 5pm. By the time I got home and prepared this and had it in the oven it was 6. (For those of you who have made homemade lasagna, you know that this is a tedious task).


Now at about 7 it was done. My younger DS(3) had already eaten (he doesn't like lasagna anyway) and my DH wasn't home from work yet. I was not hungry at the time, which only left SS(15) to eat.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2007
Mon, 01-07-2008 - 8:27pm

I know how you feel except that used to be my dh! He really did used to eat everything in the house(cookies, pop tarts etc.). I would totally hide anything you want for yourself.


I don't think it's selfish to expect a 15 year old to save some supper for everyone else. I might see about having HIM make supper some night(or even once a week) so that he'll know how it feels to cook supper. I don't think you're out of line(maybe because I'm an evil SM too).


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2007
Mon, 01-07-2008 - 8:36pm
LOL! thanks! At least I know that one "evil SM" agrees. The idea of him cooking one night might be worth a try. I have already started to hide some foods. I hate to even say that, but I don't see an option. (SIGH). It just doesn't make any sense to me, my dh is the most considerate person in the world (as am I and DS as well) so its not like he doesn't have good examples to follow. For some reason I think that he thinks (In his twisted little teenage mind) that if he doesn't eat it all then he wont get any. (Which is totally not true, but again, (SIGH)



Jen

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Mon, 01-07-2008 - 8:42pm
Well if this really bothers you then there is a very simple solution to this. When you make a meal, dish your SS's out and put it on a plate for him. Then make sure you say to him "You can have seconds after everyone else has ate".
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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2006
Mon, 01-07-2008 - 8:58pm

Mmmmmmmmm....that must have been some wonderful lasagna! Take it as a compliment that your SS wanted 3 helpings and make sure next time you make a double recipe.

My DS18 gained 15 pounds in 4 months on dorm food; that tells you what kind of a cook I am. There are always plenty of leftovers at our house. Maybe I need to give you lessons in the 'Pain of Cooking', LOL!

Seriously, though, a lot of teens are inconsiderate that way. If he's overweight I'd try the "Here's your plate, and no more" line. Otherwise, like OPs suggest, give him a turn to cook dinner for everyone and give him a lecture on how to show consideration for others.

Oh...and go out and treat yourself to a nice, four-course meal at your favorite restaurant.

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Avatar for bookwormmom
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2003
Mon, 01-07-2008 - 9:32pm

Here is what I would do. Take out what you need for servings for the rest of the family. Then let him take his serving and if you are all eating together, if he wants another serving make sure that everyone else is asked if they want more before he takes it all.


I also would suggest like someone else did that maybe you need to start making larger main dishes. Or maybe some more sides. When I have a questionable amount of main course, I will make more potatoes, noodles or add salad to the mix.


As far as the "junk" food disappearing, I guess the only thing you can do is put some aside for the rest of the family or

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Avatar for mjaye2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 01-07-2008 - 10:02pm

I'm not a step-mom, but I have 2 boys that can just about eat anybody under the table.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2007
Mon, 01-07-2008 - 10:17pm

MJ said everything that I would say :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 01-07-2008 - 11:49pm

They are not known for being considerate on their own. It takes frequent reminders. I am absolutely OCD with BLTs. Four pieces a sandwich. You want more bacon-make another sandwich. DH is the worst. We have this discussion every time.

Generally, I would try to make more because with my older two it was like this for a good couple years. DS2's appetite has really waned lately but he just turned 20.

If you have a dish where this might be an issue, portion it out or be clear on how much needs to be left in number of pieces. As you found out, 'plenty' has many different interpretations

I do think he is pretty normal.

And I think you are normal too!

It IS frustrating, especially when one is feeling overwhelmed and under appreciated, to look forward to something like yummy lasagna or your favorite ice cream and you go to get it and......gone! You bought it, made it, whatever and no one gives you any credit(see under appreciated)and you cant even have one bowl of ice cream out of that carton!

I went on a rant like this over ice cream one time and watched a very calm, sedate co worker go off about her DH and the M&Ms('Just one; I wanted JUST one!)

Funny, but not! Hang in there

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2008
Tue, 01-08-2008 - 5:07am
You're not wicked.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2002
Tue, 01-08-2008 - 6:58am

I don't think anyone is

 

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