Moving Out Of Childhood Home
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| Tue, 01-08-2008 - 1:23am |
Hi Everyone,
My 16 yr. old daughter lives with her dad and step-mom in another state,and now after 7-yrs. of marriage,step-mom is leaving and daughter tells me that she and dad will have to move out of the home that she has been in since age 3 due to financial reasons.She wants me to drop everything where I am and come rescue her,but knows in reality that I can't do that,but she is angry(justified) and hurt and I really want to help her in some way,I just don't know what too do or how to go about it.She chose to live there instead of with me due to school/friends/etc.,I just feel so helpless and my heart aches for her,does anyone know of anything I can do for her that will show her how much I care and that I understand to some extent what she is going through? Thanks so much in advance!

I don't know if this will help any or how it would go over with her, but you can't really do anything about her having to move out of that house. Maybe you could help her to work it through and remember the happy things that went on there.
Maybe she could take pictures of the house as it is now, inside and outside. Then she could start working on a scrap book about the house and what she remembers or wants to remember. Scrapbooking is a great way to work out feelings. If you have pictures of her when she was young there, make copies and send them to her. Or make a scrapbook for her of those times.
Remind her that if they aren't moving a great distance that she will still be able to see her friends and do the things that kept her there in the first place. She still has her friends and she can lean on them too and also her dad. I'm sure she is angry at him about having to leave, but I'm sure he isn't happy about it either.
I don't know what else to tell you, except to keep letting her know that you love her. Send her some cards or special little e-mails now and then. Send her some jokes via e-mail. Let her talk about how she feels, if the phone bills would be a problem, maybe you could talk on IM. It's easy enough to sign up for and I'm sure she probably already knows how it works, I don't know about you, but you can surely learn quick.
I hope this helps in some way and by the way welcome to the board. I don't think I've seen you here before. Glad you posted, I'm sure someone else will have something to say that will help.
I'm not sure what you mean by*rescue*...does she want to come to you now, or does she expect you to pull a rabbit out of your hat and somehow save the house? If she has been happy in the home, I can see where it would be upsetting to have to move, or maybe there are bigger issues. Does she have to change schools? Leave friends? Is she close to her stepmom? Regardless, continuing to offer love and support and some positive thoughts is