Setting boundaries for 14yo dd w 15yo bf
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Setting boundaries for 14yo dd w 15yo bf
| Sat, 01-12-2008 - 11:18am |
I'm hoping that some of you can give me your thoughts on this subject.
| Sat, 01-12-2008 - 11:18am |
I'm hoping that some of you can give me your thoughts on this subject.
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I would normalize the situation. For example, by all means, allow the boy to come over to see a movie at your home. Have him over for dinner. If there is a school dance, allow the two to go to the dance but arrange that they be brought/picked up from the dance by either you or his parents. Get to know the parents and the parents of all her friends. I would allow "group" dates. For example, a group of kids go to a movie together or bowling or some other activity. But it should be in a group.
It has nothing to do with "rewards for good behavior" or trusting your daughter. It has to do with allowing your daughter the freedom to grow up in steps, developmentally healthy steps. The stage of hanging out with a group of friends, couples and not couples, is very important.
I have a DS who is in eighth grade who is "going out with" another eighth grader from a different school. I'm not even sure what "going out" means at that age. I think they just think they
Thank you all so much for your thoughts.
Lots of great advice for you here as you can see.
I'm with the rest of the posters in regard to letting her see him in group situations or at your house under your supervision.
your daughter sound responsible. i agree i think you should let the boy come over, that way you can be there to moniter but also let her know you are ok with it. if you do not let her she is gonna go out with him anyways. with teeagers the more you say no the more they do it. you have to pick and choose your battles.
shannon
shannon
shannon
I'm just delurking here and I know my opinion wasn't asked for, but I thought I'd just concur with you about what you already know. Your dd IS a child. Maybe she doesn't like being "treated" like a child, because she wants to be older than she is, which is why she might be trying to date a HS boy. I guess my opinion isn't popular with a lot of ppl today-and call me old fashion-ed but since when does a 14 y.o know anything about being in love or dating, or what boys in 9th grade really want?
My girls are both in 8th grade and they are 15 and 14. I think they're normal in that they have TV crushes and they think a certain boy might be "cute" but they know they're not allowed to hang out with a boy alone or "go out". A few times when my dd had a 5th/6th grade crush she asked when she was allowed to date and why she couldn't have
As another poster said,,I need to say that seeing that your DD is only 14 is "in love" is kinda off. My son is 15 and doesn't even talk about girls. He was more interested in girls when he was in 4th and 5th grade then what he is now being in 8th grade. He had a steady *girl* that was a friend in elementary school for those two whole years and out of two years i think the little girl was at my house maybe four times for dinner and to hang out. Same as my son being at her house. After her there has been only one other girl and that was last year for about a month but never heard the words "LOVE" out of any of them.
I think your dd likes the fact of having a older boyfriend. Which there is nothing wrong with this. Most all girls do. However, How "advanced" is this boy?
Thank you all so much for your words.
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