Junior Semiformal (sorry this got long)

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2006
Junior Semiformal (sorry this got long)
3
Fri, 01-18-2008 - 6:47am

The Junior dance at L's school is months away, and I'm already stressing. Apparently, the tradition is for this dance to happen somewhere "nice". It used to be at the college that is the "parent" organization for the HS, but a few years ago the kids started renting restaurants or clubs on a mid-week night. This being New York, and some of the girls being a little "spoiled" and "princess-y" (IMHO, lol), this year's class aimed for a really nice club. One girl's dad is PTA president and he got them a grant to rent a very fancy place. I don't mind this necessarily, it's just the tone of how big a deal this dance is seems to be set high already. And, L's friends are all talking about their dresses and how expensive they're going to be. L is pretty sensible about these things, and actually HATES to spend alot of money on clothes - she'd rather get a reasonable dress that looks amazing (like from a thrift shop) - but again, the atmosphere is so superficial.

Last night, L throws out "you know that girl J I've mentioned a few times?' (um, OK, maybe) "Well, she lives in Manhattan and her mom said we could sleep over there after semi - and wouldn't that be better than coming home so late (like 1am)." Um - yeah, right - you're just saying that to be nice to Dad so he doesn't have to come pick you up?! I made sure the idea of "mom will be present" was right up front, and I'll want to call her before hand. But then last night, I started stressing about these girls in Manhattan at 1 am. How do I know they're at the girl's house safely? How do I know they're not drinking (or worse)? Where are the boys in all of this?

The irony is that since L is open with me, and has told me some of the stupid stuff her friends are involved in, I'm less trusting of them, and more worried for her. I can't throw that back at her, because she would think it's not fair - after all she trusted me to tell me, how can I now hold it against her. My fall back has been "if Shelly's parents approve", because Sh is her one very sane friend with somewhat cautious parents.

I know I have to let her stretch her wings here - and having a late night for Junior or Senior dance is part of the HS experience - but I know I'll still worry for her all night!

One good thing - there does not seem (so far) to be a big emphasis on having a *date* for this dance - boy drama on top of all the other drama might put both DD and me over the top!

Sue, mom to Leah and Seth


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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2003
Fri, 01-18-2008 - 8:36am

My daughter had her 11th grade semi-formal in November.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-29-2003
Fri, 01-18-2008 - 12:32pm

Sue, your DD seems like a level headed girl. I'd check w/ the parents of the girl hosting the sleepover, and if it all checks out, I'd allow her to go.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2006
Fri, 01-18-2008 - 1:00pm

To add to what shels2003 wrote: