what would you do...
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what would you do...
| Sat, 01-19-2008 - 6:18pm |
Alittle back round...DD's best friend (who is 11) is left home alone to watch her little sister who is 4 all the time and normally from the time she gets home from school until 11 PM at night. For the last two years this girl has been sleeping over every other weekend. I would pick her up after school on friday and take her home on saturday


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I wouldn't be surprised if the reason that the answer is no now is because the 11 y/o is "needed" to tend to her little sister over the weekends now too.
My feelings on this depend on what the mom in question is doing with her time
If she is working second or third shift, this schedule makes sense. And, oftentimes, these shift type jobs arent going to let anyone answer their cell phone!!!!
She may have been asked to work on a Saturday and couldnt because DD was at your house and unable to watch the 4 yr old. This might have been a financial hit for her(time and a half?)
Personally, I would not keep her child in the future without speaking to her in person. Just take her home if you cannot reach mom.
OTOH if this woman is partying, I would feel very differently
Well i know the mother has been arrested two times for DWI, and she does work PT as a bar tender at a local club. Where she works, answering her cell phone is not a problem. I know the girls didn't have a falling out because they still talk to each other everyday on the phone.
I think i'm kinda leaning towards that the mom is uncomfortable with everything we do with her daughter. When she is here we always go to the mall shopping,movies,out to eat, and the list goes on. When the girls first got to be friends the mother told me that she was thankful that her dd got to meet up with my dd because otherwise she wouldn't get to do all the things that we do. I just wish i knew how to handle this.
I wonder what social services would think of an 11 yr old babysitting a 4 yr old ALL the time. For long periods of time. It's one thing to
You know, it becomes very difficult when you attempt to delve into the works of another family...no matter what her mother is doing for a living...if she's doing it to support her family, its not our business. If the child is being neglected, or God forbid, abused, then that's another story.
What would I do? (and most all of my posts are under the *what would I do* format, btw) I would call. Not to question or give my opinion tho...I'd take the high road and apologize for overstepping my boundaries by allowing the child to spend the night on the basis of a phone msg. (I'm not inferring you were wrong, I would have and have done this, with kids who I felt, like you, were at my house where they clearly got something they weren't getting at home.) I would say that the kids enjoy their time together, and that the friend is always welcome in my home and that she's a pleasure to have around. The last thing you want to do is put her on the defensive, because clearly the time at your home means a lot to this little girl...I hate to always bring up the BTDT, but, I have been on both sides of this situation as a kid. I spent an inordinate amount of time babysitting my little sister, starting very young. (a blessing, as we are very close and she often credits me with having *practically raised her*...and my own home life stunk and I had a good friend who's mother welcomed me into their home when I wasn't babysitting and gave me a lot of love.
I hope kids can work this out. The nonsense goes on and on. Sometimes having the broad shoulders is the quickest way to cut thru the muck. Sadly, it's often the actions of the parents who unwittingly perpetuate all the nonsense.
I know my situation is different but I live in a neighbourhood where there are many immigrants from Eastern European countries or from Russia or Israel.
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She may have thought she'd be grateful in the beginning but it became more challenging than she expected.
Isnt this typical fodder for argument among divorced couples. Mom has the kid most the time, makes her do homework and wash the dishes and dad comes in every other weekend and takes her out to eat, shops with her and she has no chores. It would be nice if mom could 'appreciate' it but most moms are 100% human and resent it. Besides, as kids get older, their mouths open more.
Yes, in many countries young children are forced to take on responsibility or are left unattended for long periods of time but, just because it happens, does not mean it is safe to do or good for the kids. In some countries, children as young as 5 work in sweat shops.
Just because it happens, does not mean it is right.
New Canadians (or Americans) have to adjust to Canadian (or American) standards of care for children. They might be shocked but so what? Laws concerning the protection of children apply to us all, no exceptions.
The law, in our country, is that under 12, parents are not allowed to place a child in danger. The younger the child, the more serious the police take it. There is some wiggle room (i.e. a 11 year old can be left along for a few hours) but having a young child babysit a much younger child is not safe.
This is a rough situation.
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