Good morning everyone!
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| Wed, 10-11-2000 - 8:50am |
Good morning everyone!
Thanks for the personal Hello Monica! You sound great!!! Sam, I am so so sorry about your niece's boyfriend and everyone that was involved. What a tragedy. Jenn, if you are where you can read the board, we are all hoping you are okay. And wonderful, Maxine, where are you? I hope you are feeling more energetic and will stop overworking yourself!
As for me, on Day 5 again. Started getting serious about this alcohol stuff in January! Ten months later, here I am starting again as a result of denying the real deal. But I DO know the real deal, and I am actually excited about the idea of being alcohol free and being in control instead of allowing IT to be. Obviously I am aware of the slippery spots in the road, so I hope y'all will remind me IF I were to start back with a "glass or two". No phsyical cravings so far.
Also faced, eye to eye, some personal demons/issues that I have not allowed myself to honestly tackle, and I think that will help me keep away from drinking as an anasthesia. What a clarifying, though sad experience! Had a very frank discussion with my hubby about having/not having children. He is 24 years older than me and whenever the subject would come up, he cleverly found a way to put it off til later. After the fact, of course, I would feel "tricked", but also a little glad that no concrete decision was made, so that I could delay the inevitable conclusion.
Well, we faced it together on Monday, and as SAD as it is for me to admit that it just ain't a good idea, I do believe I can now live life in TODAY, rather than have this wierd, constant feeling that my life is going to BEGIN at some unkown/undesignated point down the road someplace. My biggest fear is of being 85 years old and totally alone. But then I prayed about that fear, and let go of it. I cannot be paralyzed today for what MAY happen 50 years from now! What a revelation!
Thanks for listening. Have a great day everyone! And who turned off the heat around here? BRRRRR!!!
Joan
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Hi Joan, Day 12 for me...
I guess as long as we know there is a problem it doesn't matter how many times we start over. When I slip I am so hard on myself, I feel that I have let everyone down, even the boards I am on, but I just pick up and start again. This time around is different for me, it wasn't that I hit a terrible bottom, I guess I was just tired of the way I looked and felt. I feel great now, I do want that drink sometimes and I do think about it, but then I think about not being able to stop at just one and then I just forget about it and move on to something else. My husband said I am looking better and that makes me feel good too, that he notices. I sit and stare at myself in the mirror and I do see someone different, I don't know if I like the person yet, but there is something different. Good luck to you Joan.
Mary
demonizing demons
You sound so positive that I almost envy you (well, almost). : ) It sounds like you took a major step towards a happier, healthier you. We so often hide from our problems that they become larger than life itself. The demons we hide from demand so much energy from us to keep them hidden It can be almost impossible to find the energy to face them. I admire your intestinal fortitude for facing your dilema and dealing with it. I can't imagine that it was easy for you or your husband. I wish you the best of luck.
Jeff
Good to hear from you, Joan!
Thanks for your honest post! And, keep on trying for soberity...it will happen if you keep the hand off the alcohol!LOL It took me years to make the decision to STOP! For me, alcohol abuse was just the tip of the iceberg! I had a lot of emotional and intellectial(I thought I knew everything)problems. My life was full of DRAMA and I loved it! If I wasn't in the middle of some kind of s***, I didn't feel alive! I have not only quit alcohol...I am learning to live my life in a different way! I didn't do all this by myself..I had a lot of love and support from others, both professional and non. But, the major help I recieved ...was from my higher power(my higher-self) AND the real knowingness that if I wanted to stop...I could not have that first drink. So, I really had to be CONVINCED that I, in fact, was an alcoholic and could never have just one drink!!! I commend your honest communication with your husband and both of you making a very difficult decision. I wish you well on this journey that we all are going towards. Peace and light, JoAnn