So worried

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
So worried
Sun, 06-29-2003 - 6:33am
A little over two months ago, my mom went in for a valve replacement. Since then, there

have been complications. She's had to have a tube inserted in her throat because she

could not breathe and she's also had a stomach operation. She's still in ICU and the

doctors say she's doing okay but they need her to eat solid foods so she can gain strength

to stand and walk. She's not eating. She says she has no appetite. We've tried

everything and she's still not eating. This is worrying me so much because she's been through so much and pulled through. Now this.

I'm sad and scared too. I don't want to lose her. I love her so much. She's being fed intravaneously, however, that's not enough to give her strength to get out the hospital. Everyday my family begs and pleads with her to try to eat a little something but she says she's not willing to eat. She's not in any physical pain. I don't understand. Does anyone know anyone who's gone through this and eventually came around? I'm so worried. Please pray for her.

Avatar for cl_themummy2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
In reply to:
Sun, 06-29-2003 - 9:08am
Hi, livahberry.....and welcome to the board!

Let me ask you a question right off....what was the stomach operation your mother had to have and what kind of tube was inserted into her throat?

If all her PHYSICAL symptoms are under control, and it's simply the fact that she won't eat.......I do not understand why her doctors have not asked for a psychiatric consult for your mother. A good psychologist (or psychiatrist) may be able to help understand why "she just won't eat". There is a lot of fear attached to everything she's been through, and perhaps that's the reason she's afraid to eat (or is refusing to eat). Please ask your mother's doctors to get some psychological help for your mother. Begging and pleading won't work if she's too afraid to eat. Appetite is a strange thing....many people are VERY hungry after surgeries.....others have no appetite for a long period of time! Her doctors have to find out WHY she's refusing to eat. If her doctors don't do that, then all the begging and pleading in the world most likely won't work! Please ask your mothers doctors about getting her some help with this matter! Doctors certainly can't force her to eat solid food...but they can certainly help her to find out WHY she's refusing to eat!

Good luck, Hon! I hope your mother recovers well, and that (with help) she can begin to eat again soon! Let us know, okay?

Welcoming (((hugs))),


iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2003
In reply to:
Wed, 07-02-2003 - 12:49am
I'm so sorry that your mom is having such a hard time. My mom had a massive stroke in 1996 and while she was improving physically, she was an emotional wreck. She was truly suicidal and I spent SIX months telling my dad and her doctors this before they woke up and got her some help.

Major surgery can be mentally devestating. It sounds like your mom really needs to talk to a psychiatrist and may need some anti-depressants to get her well enough to get out of the hospital. Please tell her doctors you want a psychiatrist to see her for an evaluation. Make sure she gets this and that she sees them alone. Sometimes people will hold back in front of their family, so as not to worry them or hurt their feelings. Also, she may refuse, but don't back down.

I hope this helps and I hope all goes well.