Sex after heart attack

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2004
Sex after heart attack
Fri, 08-06-2004 - 12:14am

I need some help or possible advise. In 2 months, I am marrying a man that I love deeply. Six months ago, he had a heart attack. He has been recovering ever since. He is only 35 yrs old, so my problem is I have strong emotional feels for my man and his interest level for sex is zero right now. His dr tells him that this is normal and it is possibly the medication also. I try real hard to be understanding, because I know that his lack of interest is not his fault, but it is very hard for me to handle. I haven't found any kind of support groups out there to help the spouses of these people who are healing, so that we can not only deal with the process, but talk to others about it. I also don't feel like I am very comfortable knowing what to expect over all with the recovery. He has almost completed his rehab, and has started going to a support group. I think he is trying very hard to help me to not feel ignored. I'm just not sure that I could go much longer without the intimacy. I'm really trying to be patient. Any suggestions?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Fri, 08-06-2004 - 2:22pm

Welcome to this fine board.



iVillage Member
Registered: 07-25-2004
Sun, 08-08-2004 - 3:15pm
i am sort of in the same situation, but my guy had a heart attack 2 yrs ago. he did not have rehab but was doing great w/ the stents until last month when the chest pain returned. he has made several visits to his doc & to his cardiologist & they have finally discovered that 2 out of 7 stents have collapsed & will have to replace them. my guy & i have been close friends for at least 9 yrs but recently have gotten romantically involved so i really know him & his heart medical history. newly into our romantic relationship so we haven't had sex yet but it isn't from him not trying. he has done everything to seduce me, but i will not let myself go that far until the docs give the ok. he has assured me, if he started to have pain while having sex he would stop, but i'm not willing to take that chance. so we have both agreed to snuggling until the time is right. at first my guy was worried about me being so much younger, (i am 32 he is 53), & not being able to satisfy me (with the heart condition & all the meds that go with it) & tried to fix me up w/ a younger man, but i have assured him, that he is well worth waiting for & we will work things out if his meds interfere w/ sex. also when he had his heart atack 2 yrs ago he was in a sexual relationship & he could pretty much tell how far he could go with out pain. maybe it will take some experimenting for you & your guy until he is sure of himself. let him know you are there when the time is right & you will stick by him until he is ready. this may relieve some of his inhibitions. you have come to the right board, i have found it to be of great help & support, because with this thing happening to my guy again i have been really scared not being sure what to expect. i wish the both of you good luck & a long healthy future together.