Help Needed with new Kitten

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2004
Help Needed with new Kitten
12
Tue, 05-31-2005 - 6:56am

Hi,

Just wondering if anyone can help me with my problem!
(Oh I used to post on Think like a Cat until it shut down!!)

We currently have a 7 month old British Blue female who is an indoor cat and has lived with us for about 3 months. She started off very skittish and scared but has gradually got a bit friendlier and fussier.
Thinking that she was probably lonely all day on her own we got another kitten on Thursday to keep her company. He is a lovely grey bundle of fun, he's very cheeky and has settled into the house straight away.
Trouble is Fenella just isnt taking to him at all, I didnt expect her to be friends with him automatically but after 5 days now things arent getting any better, in fact they are getting worse as Hugo seems to be bullying her a bit.
He wont give her a minutes piece and jumps and chases her from room to room. She occassionally attacks him but nine times out of ten he wins and conquers either her comfy seating area or her climbing tree.
I feel really sorry for her as she just looks fed up constantly.
We are putting Hugo to bed around 10pm now in his own room just to give her some peace and quiet but I then feel sorry for Hugo being on his own.
Its very difficult and I know think that Fenella was probably perfectly happy on her own.
Do you think I should carry on with the situation or try and find Hugo a home where he would be the centre of attention.
It really is upsetting me as I dont want either to be sad.

Any opinions would be greatly received.

Regards,
Jo.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 05-31-2005 - 7:34am

*WELCOME* to Cats Jo.

Cat =^..^=
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 05-31-2005 - 10:40am

Hi Jo.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Tue, 05-31-2005 - 11:29am

I agree with Cat and Leslie - give it some more time. I've introduced lots of new pets in my lifetime, and I can tell you that 5 days is next to nothing! No matter how hopeless a situation may appear at first, I'd say 99% of the time new animals will, at the very least, learn to tolerate each other -- if not become great friends. My parents once brought a full-grown Labrador Retriever home to our full-grown cat -- the dog chased and terrorized the cat for days on end, until eventually, they actually learned to curl up and go to sleep together.

Hissing and swatting is very normal (and necessary) in the beginning. I brought my kitten Bailey home 3 weeks ago, and though he and Tasha have come a long way, she still occasionally hisses at him. Keep in mind that there is no set time limit - Fenella and Hugo may get used to each other by the end of the week, or it may take several weeks. In rarer cases, it could take months. Have some patience, and keep putting Hugo in his room at night, and while you aren't home. Make sure he has plenty of toys, and he will be fine.




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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2004
Tue, 05-31-2005 - 11:41am

Hi,

Thanks for all your messages.
I think I'm just getting a bit upset seeing Fenella so fed up and then when we put Hugo to bed I feel sorry for him being banished to his room!!
Think I am being a bit sensitive.

I have probably done the wrong thing today too - I've left them home alone while at work and havent seperated them!! I take it this was a bad idea and should seperate them in future?

I just keep feeling sorry for them both!!

Hugo actually looks like your little Bailey!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Tue, 05-31-2005 - 11:58am

I feel bad putting Bailey in his room at night too - he always cries for the first few minutes, but then he either goes to sleep or starts playing with his toys.

We started leaving him out during the day after we were sure Tasha wouldn't kick his butt! They actually started playing together a little bit over the weekend before last, probably a good full week after they were introduced face to face. We felt comfortable leaving him out after that. He still goes to his room at night though, because otherwise he decides nightime is a perfect time to run the Indy 500, and we like to keep our bedroom door open so Tasha can sleep with us if she wants to!

How old is Hugo? If you feel Fenella won't actually hurt him, or vice versa, leaving them alone together may actually encourage the pecking order process. If you are comfortable with it, then I say go ahead and leave him out during the day.

Aren't little gray kittens cute? :)




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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2004
Tue, 05-31-2005 - 12:21pm

Hugo cries too when we put him to bed....but then he doesnt stir then from 10pm to 7am!
He is quite good but I just picture him being bored and sad on his own!!

We do the same with Fenella. We put him to bed and let her run about or rather sleep with us. She likes that and probably heaves a bit sigh of relief!!
She is nearly 7 months old and was spayed about 3 weeks ago. Hugo is coming up to 10 weeks old but he's quite big for his age and Fenella is quite small.
I dont think she'd harm him but I suppose you can never be quite sure.
I will be home in about an hour so fingers crossed that they are both ok.

So you dont think its cruel to put him to bed early?

Grey kittens are lovely!! I mean I love cats, all types but I have a soft spot for grey ones.
Fenella is a blue smokey grey and Hugo is a tabby grey!! Both lovely though!

I hope the situation improves soon!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Tue, 05-31-2005 - 12:52pm

No, I don't think it is cruel to put him to bed early. Think of it this way - if he was an only cat, he'd be alone all day while you were working anyway! And Bailey is so good - he settles down from 10pm until 7am too - until he hears us getting up! But kittens are very good at keeping themselves occupied. As long as he's got lots of stuff to do - toys to play with, something to scratch, room to run, and a place to sleep (for kittens, that's just about anywhere - comfortable-looking or not!), he'll be fine.

It's funny - I've always wanted a smokey-gray kitten, but I never had one. I also somehow always knew that one day I would rescue a stray kitten (maybe one of those psychic-ability things - lol). Strangely enough - I rescued a stray, GRAY kitten! LOL.

Don't get me wrong - I love all cats too. And now I have a special fondness for Torties too, since that's what my Tasha is. I wish I could have seen her as a kitten -- she was full-grown when we adopted her. I keep trying to transpose her colours onto Bailey in my mind. Hee hee!




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Registered: 03-07-2005
Tue, 05-31-2005 - 1:07pm

Can I just jump in here and ask, how did you introduce Baily to Tasha? I'm planning on getting a new kitten next week. That'll make 3 cats for me. When I introduced Chalimar to Annie, Chal was 4 mths and Annie was 2yrs old. I just kinda dumped Chal out of the carrier and was like, Here you go! I didn't seperate them. Annie hissed for 3 days before cornering Chal behind the litterbox. They've been fine ever since, but I can't help thinking that was NOT the way to go about it. Plus, Chal gave Annie and I both ringworm. Not fun.

I read the steps on the website here, but dumping them together right away is still making me nervous. Annie is now 9 and Chalimar is 7. I don't really know how they'll react. I was thinking of putting the kitten in its own room. I wasn't sure if I should not let it out for a few days, or if I should start with supervised meetings right away. It's been 7 yrs since I had a kitten.

** Noelle

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Tue, 05-31-2005 - 1:51pm

This is how it went, as best as I can recall anyway (lol):

- brought Bailey home on Monday, May 9th. I kept him in his own room 100% for 2 days/nights (but I was also taking him to work with me because he wasn't eating on his own yet). I didn't let Tasha see him at all, though she did hear him squeaking in his room, and was rather curious. She knew something was up!

- Wednesday, May 11th, we let Tasha see him through his carrier. Here's a link to that post:
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-ptcat&msg=28211.1&ctx=256

- We continued this routine through the weekend -- watching him with the bedroom door open, allowing Tasha to see him but not touch him, until Tuesday, May 17th. We were being really cautious though - Tasha is a really big cat (15 lbs), and had never lived with another cat before. Bailey was really tiny, and we were afraid he would get seriously thumped should Tasha decide to hurt him!

- On the 17th, we allowed Bailey to start wandering the rest of the apartment. With that, he had his first face to face meeting with Tasha. She hissed and swatted at him, but didn't make contact, and he got the idea to leave her alone. Eventually he tried to go up to her again, but it was the same thing each time. Tasha was still fairly disinterested in him - she watched, but she was otherwise very normal and relaxed. She didn't chase him, or approach him. She just hissed and swatted if he came to her. This went on for several days. Note that we were still locking him up in his own room at night and while we were at work.

- then, on the weekend of the 21st, they started to have brief play sessions! Tasha still hissed if things went too far, but progress is progress! They were even chasing each other down the hall a few times. We thought it would be alright to leave them together while we went to the store. By the time we went back to work, we felt it was safe to leave him out with her.

We still put him in his room at night, because he keeps us awake, but now at least Tasha is almost completely used to him! She still occasionally hisses at him - like if he wants to play and she wants to sleep - but she doesn't tense and "growl" at him at all anymore. I couldn't be happier with how well it's gone!

Good luck with the new kitty!

PS: Ringworm SUCKS! Tasha had it when we first got her. Thank goodness DBF and I didn't get it. I'm actually half-worried that Bailey may get it - the fungus can live in fabric for a long time... I just hope it's all gone by now!




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Registered: 03-07-2005
Tue, 05-31-2005 - 2:07pm

That sounds like the way to go. So if I get the kitten on the evening of Friday, 6/10 (which is my plan), then I'll keep it isolated over the weekend, and start limited intros on Monday evening. I'm just so worried that either it'll hurt my girls, since it'll have claws and they don't have front ones. Or I'm worried that Chalimar will hurt it, since she's a very tall cat, and she's a hitter. I expect Annie to back into a "safe" place and growl. That's how she reacted to Chalimar.

I'm also really worried this kitty will give my girls something horrible. I've been assured over and over, that the kittens from this rescue place have had vaccinations, tests for the bad kitty diseases, a worming, etc. I guess I'm gun shy after the ringworm. That was NASTY. Annies little pink ears crusted up. Me, I had a huge patch on my hip. Not fun at ALL.

When I get the new kitty, there will definitely be many pics!

** Noelle

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